Pretty desperate today

Posted , 9 users are following.

Hello ladies

Major hugs and sympathy required! After my major break down at Christmas I have been doing ok on the HRT and Mirena. Often feel like I'm living on a knife edge but have been coping ok. Rubbish happening at work... Got passed over for promotion so decided to resign last week. I was ok with the decision but it is risky as husband self employed too. Was feeling ok about it but then our beautiful springer spaniel died suddenly on Friday. He was only 4 and his death was horrible. My husband hadn't been coping too well with work and this has sent him into a free fall. He's having a major melt down which has set off my anxiety and panic again. I'm in a state and he's in a state and I've just given up my job! Now really worried we won't be able to cope both being ill and self employed. What a mess! I feel like s**t! Can't sleep can't eat panicking nauseous and crying. Just want it all to end.

Help!

0 likes, 10 replies

10 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Anita, am sending hugs and sympathy , so sorry about the loss of your springer especially at such a young age ! They are integral family members so you are grieving for him and you must be so very very sad without him ! Has your husband been to see the doctor about how he is feeling ? I know men find it very hard to express emotional issues especially to a stranger and feel it is a sign of weakness somehow ! I know ,my husband of 29 years retired early from the police at the age of 52 ,is having a midlife crisis and doesn't want to be with me anymore , am sure he is depressed but would never ,ever go to see someone ! This must be a very worrying time for you ,maybe when your grief from losing your dog has subsided a little you could think about getting another part time job ,am convinced that having some sort of routine to adhere to helps with depression ,anxiety a little ,am an authority on these issues as I suffer from both and have from time to time been where you have been on a knife edge ! I think if you are at home all day it gives you too much time to think ! Anyway do hope that things start to improve for you soon , I know it probably doesn't feel like it at this moment in time ! We all go through so much in our lives and then of course we have the wretched hormones to contend with ! Thank god for anti depressants I say ,can't imagine where I would be at this moment in time without them ! Good luck to you ,try and stay strong ,easier said than done I know when you seem to be fighting a daily battle ! I am sure the sun will shine for you again one day ! Sarah x
  • Posted

    And I thought my Saturday was bad when I couldn't stop crying all day for no reason!

    You poor thing, what a time you are having.  But please don't give up on things, you and your husband can support each other and get through each hour and day together.  I have to split my day in to same chunks when I feel down and concentrate on one thing at a time.....it helps me feeling more in control when I feel I have none!!

    And try to eat little snacks to keep you going and your energy not plummetting. I do that lot's and it just makes me feel worse.

    I know you don't know me, but I'll send lots of hugs anyway......hope they cheer up a little bit smile

     

  • Posted

    Hello. First of all take some deep breaths, Maybe listen to some calming music. I find listening to rain falling and light thunder calms me sometimes. Just googgle calming rain on you tube. It may work for? I am very sorry your dog has passed, but keep saying to yourself that your dog is out of pain now. Your dog was fortunate to have shared 4 years with you and your husband, Think of the good times not the death of your dog. There will be light at the end of the tunnel. Be strong and be brave. Keep saying to yourself we will get through this! Life is going to get Better! Think positive not negative. It is the negative thoughts that bring you down. Try and help each other. Have you got anyone you can talk to you about your problems? Think of solutions to help. If you are taking action to get better you will get through this. Try and do the basics for a start. Eat and drink. Your body needs help through this emotional time. You need to look after yourselves. I am sending you a Great Big Hug! You will get throught this. Think positive remember. X
  • Posted

    Hi anita

    So sorry with what you are dealing with. I have dealt with anxieties and panic attacks myself. Sorry to hear that you lost your dog and quit your job. 

    All i can say is hang in there everything will get better just pray to Jesus he will provide you with the right kind of job. 

    I understand that its hard on you right now but please do not give up hope 

    Hugs and kisses to you and a smile facebiggrin just smile and laugh I heard that laughter is the best medicine 

    You have my prayers 

  • Posted

    So very sorry, Anita. Glad you posted -- it shows you have courage and are open to the wonderful support and ideas here. Stay in touch.
  • Posted

    Hi Anita, this too shall pass. Take things a day at a time and find support with family and friends. Sorry about your loss. I'm sure it was a very difficult time for you and your husband. Be there for each other, and try to find some distraction in a short trip, see a movie, visit some friends, take a drive to a beach if one is close by. I'm sure it's difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but believe me, it is there.

    Men have a harder time expressing their pains and fears. Have him write things down, like a letter to himself. That may help him release some stress. Go for a run, exercise also helps. Just getting out of the house and being in a different place, can help too. Find a friend he can confide in. A pastor or priest if you belong to a Church. I wish you all the best. Hang in there! It does get better.

  • Posted

    Hi Anita - more hugs coming from me.  I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your dog, it's natural that things might feel overwhelming right now but it doesn't mean you won't find a way to move forward with things. Maybe resignation just feels a bit scary right now, due to your loss and you will return to feeling good about it.  I appreciate that your husband feeling unwell is a concern as you want to support each other, I have been in a similar situation and it is really difficult. Try not to adjust or adpat at the moment in an attempt to fix everything - give yourself time to adjust slowly to all these changes.

    Trust your self that you will find a way forward out of what feels like a massive mess - things can get overwhelming and thats the point to reach out and step back a bit - so glad you wrote

  • Posted

    this is hard but its life, sory about your dog thats the last straw most prob at the moment, hand on in there, things get better with time and putting things into perspective, use all support avail in my advice.
  • Posted

    Thank you so much ladies for all your kind words. Today has been tough, but we're still standing!
  • Posted

    You are probably both stronger than you know. Have faith in yourself and keep talking to people smile

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.