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If you ladies were unbelievably unhappy in your marriages on top of all of these symptoms would you have the courage to leave?

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  • Posted

    hi susan

    depends if he want to fight for the relationship !IM game .

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  • Posted

    I am unhappy but no, I have no courage. We argue a lot. I feel I get very little understanding and support with my Peri-menapause symptoms. My 10 year daughter worry and dread if we get seperarated. She is more understanding than my husband. I feel. He makes my symptoms worse!

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  • Posted

    Depends...are you unhappier you think because pf your symptoms that may be elevating your intolerance... or is he unsupportive.. were you unhappy prior to your symptoms.. I cant go..because he is driving me.. sounds selfish but its really more than that. I don't want my son to hurt..even though he is 24 and married... but I dont get to see him much.. if the dad is gone I would see him even less.. he comes to watch games, etc...

    anyway...it all depends on how much of your unhappiness is due to tour symptoms. It will get better one day and you could regret your decision..

    I know a lot of what I feel about all that is due to my symptoms.

    I have zero tolerance.

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  • Posted

    I've talked to my friends and relatives and they all the same.

    They all say that there husbands don't care and mine is exactly the same I don't think they don't give a s**t but it isn't really that it is that they are frightened to come down to our level and by that I mean mentally it's in grained in them to be the strong one and they fear that if they drop the strong facade they will be like us unable to cope.

    I think the best thing is to have it out with them even if it involves screaming and shouting in fact scream as loud as you can and get your opinion out there and you will finally know where you stand. I did this and we are finally happy because instead of being the weak person I finally got the truth out that he was trying to be strong even though he was as weak as me.

    Good Luck in the future.

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  • Posted

    Funny you should mention this because i am wondering if I am at that point but still do not think I could leave....he does not understand how the hormones are affecting me and he certainly makes no effort to understand or try to make me feel better...it has been this way with a lot of things in past 25 years and I truly wonder if this is the straw that will break camels back...I also would not leave YET as my youngest is only 9 (older ones are 20&24) and I feel he needs both parents in the home just as our older 2 had...but will someday I decide enough is enough? maybe...It is NOT just recent events of perimenopause making me say this...I have always been the happier one, one who wants to do things, go on trips etc...he just comes along because its expected...I just wish I could be with a happy person, who enjoys just being with me, and wants to see me happy...not sure how this helps but feel free to message me if youd like. Take care!!

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  • Posted

    just be careful i got divorced last november - not my choice and then became sick in april with ebv/mono . i had a boyfriend for a year since we split but thats over now .

    so being alone going through meno / mono is hell at 52 . you also must look at the financial aspect .

    at this age we need a life partner and good luck trying to find another one.... dating is tough .

    so id say if hes a good guy and things were ok before stick with it . men have a hard time being sympathetic when we are ill they just dont want to hear us moaning and groaning .

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  • Posted

    Thank you ladies for your replies. Ive been unhappy for a long time. Theres been issues for a while. I certainly knew marriage wasnt going to be like leave it to beaver but the last person on earth i ever thought would cause me the most stress was him and it changed my feelings for him but i stayed because my 2 daughters and I was afraid to be on my own. I often wonder if all of what im experiencing physically and mentally is due to stress and depression from being unhappy. Not to mention a history of anxiety and ocd. He completely ruined my trust and blames me for not believing him. Oh well-

    just a random question i thiught id ask thank you again for your replies. Hugs to all of you:)

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  • Posted

    I have often wondered if my symptoms are worse because of him-- especially the tension headaches. All I need is a little support, understanding and laughter.. I was really thinking of leaving 2 or 3 years ago-- getting things in order and all that. My kids would questioned tidbits about their dad and I realized I'm not going crazy--as they see what I see-- an immature man who needs constant attention. So here we are like brother/sister with tantrums too. In a few years kids will be off to college so maybe I'll leave then or just continue living this way-- IDK. I do miss having someone for me-- the smiles, the laughter, the conversations, etc... I do all this with the kids but I think eventually I will want to grow old with someone who can provide that.

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    • Posted

      yes, same here...I dont know what I will do for fun once my kids are out of the house. He only does things when kids ask or it is expected...otherwise he really has no friends, interests, hobbies, whereas I have many...

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    • Posted

      ok yall...looking for a laugh??? I live with my EX husband..yeah..tried again... still isn't good so I've been thinking along the same lines..but now with the menocrap..... I am kinda having to depend on him to get me around. My main issues are the dizziness and the shaky hands. The rest I pretty much am able to deal with.

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  • Posted

    Susan, It depends on if the reason for the unhappiness is caused by the way we are feeling now from all the peri symptoms or if it has been an ongoing thing. My husband is a one in a million kind of man. He is very understanding and supportive of me during this time. I think it is because his Mother raised him right. He is very respectful to women. I would fight for my marriage. I believe this time in our lives has to be stressful on our husbands too, because we definitely have changed a lot. Maybe, some men just don't know how to handle all of the problems we are facing with this peri. I know one minute I can be fine, then the next I am a crying mess. It's a wonder my husband doesn't think I am a hypochondriac or a crazy woman. I would think long and hard before I made any life altering decisions like that, and I would make sure that I wasn't having one of those days when I get irritated or depressed over nothing. Hugs to you, and I truly hope everything works out well for you.

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  • Posted

    I have thought about this more times than you know. My husband can be great sometimes but most of the time he really stresses me out. We have been married for almost 11 years and it has been hell on earth for me. He is extremely temperamental and has unpredictable mood swings. He can be fine one minute and a complete monster the next. I believe it is the stress of this marriage that has triggered my menopausal symptoms. If I was in a good place financially I would leave but right now he is the breadwinner. We have two young kids a 10 year old and a 5 year old. Both children would be devastated if we divorced but my younger child especially because she struggles with change and new situations and is already receiving counseling for anxiety. I don't know what to do anymore. I know I'm not happy with him and haven't been for a while. He says he's not happy either but doesn't know where else he can go. It's misery and then to have to deal with these symptoms too only makes things worse.

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  • Posted

    I have thought about this more times than you know. My husband can be great sometimes but most of the time he really stresses me out. We have been married for almost 11 years and it has been hell on earth for me. He is extremely temperamental and has unpredictable mood swings. He can be fine one minute and a complete monster the next. I believe it is the stress of this marriage that has triggered my menopausal symptoms. If I was in a good place financially I would leave but right now he is the breadwinner. We have two young kids a 10 year old and a 5 year old. Both children would be devastated if we divorced but my younger child especially because she struggles with change and new situations and is already receiving counseling for anxiety. I don't know what to do anymore. I know I'm not happy with him and haven't been for a while. He says he's not happy either but doesn't know where else he can go. It's misery and then to have to deal with these symptoms too only makes things worse.

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