really angy!!!

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Hi

Had nice weekend with hubby and kids, went to mum and dads for easter sunday dinner.

Which was great till mum and dad had a row and dad stayed upstairs till the next day.

He's in the middle of chemo treatment, diabetic, and has high blood pressure. He was refusing to take his medication and said he'd had enough.

He became ill 4 years ago when he got bowel cancer, he had op and radiotherapy and chemo. He was in the clear, then 2 years later went blind with cataracts due to diabetes. Then a year ago after a mri scan he was told he had secondry liver cancer.

The news was like being hit by a train, thats when i started getting panic attacks and anxiety. The whole family has supported him and mum all the way.

I'm really angry because my mum is always there for dad and he treats her like dirt, i don't know if it's the chemo or depression i'm gonna talk to the mcmillan nurses today when i take him for his chemo.

Sorry to ramble on.

michele x

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12 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Michele

    Sorry to hear the weekend didn't go too well.

    It must be really hard on you and the family. I hope you were able to speak to the mcmillan nurses. They are very good.

    I hope you are having a better day today and that things have calmed down.

    Take care.

    Lizzy

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  • Posted

    Hi MLH (Michele)

    I have never posted directly to yourself before> Please keep strongXXXX

    I have had cancer I am three years clear but my side effects to the treatments I had are awful and sometimes make you lash out on the people you most love.

    How old is your dad?.. he sounds as if he needs a big cuddle and be able to talk about how he feels as I AM SURE he does not want to hurt you or your mom.

    I have talked to my hubby how I was when I had cancer and he said \"there was not much I could do for you and felt helpless\"

    Maybe yourself and your mom feel abit like that and if you do ....DO NOT

    I have anexity,mild depression both of which is because I lost my dad. My cancer has also caused me to have pernicious anaemia which I had to have an injection today.

    I can relate to no matter how terrible your dad is I am sure he does not want to make you and your mom upset he is probably scared and is acting inappropriatley.

    If you want to relay how you feel I AM STRONG ENOUGH>>> cancer is tough but so is what we are suffering.

    Take care Michele XXXX

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  • Posted

    Hi andyk and lizzy,

    Thanks for replying to my post smile

    Dads chemo is moved to tomorrow cos of bank holiday. ( dad is 64 by the way )

    We've aired our differences now and me and mum know dad not himself.

    Back to work tomorrow i love my job so not down about going in.

    I laugh so much at work, i miss the kids but love watching hubby trying to keep calm when the girls are arguing. :lol: i'm so cruel :lol:

    Take care everybody

    michele x

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  • Posted

    HI MLH

    It is good that you have aired your differences with your dad, things will calm down.

    I am back to work tomorrow and am also loking forward to it.

    I live in Shropshire but commute to Smethwick to work which is not far but hthe traffic is heavy on m6 so takes a while

    ....If your dad is still a bit off with your mom try to have a word because it does not matter how ill we are we should not be horrrible to the people whom are helping us

    you and me and all other sufferers keep calm, keep safe and look afer each other because unless you have suffered a \"set back\" as we all have it is hard to understand what we are going through

    each day at a time

    Andy xxxxxx

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  • Posted

    Hi andy,

    Thanks for your supportive words, i forgot to say i'm sorry for you having to go through cancer. Glad you ok now ( appart from anxiety and depression ! )

    My mum said dad been looking in his blue book you get from hospital, it does say mood swings.

    When i started feeling ill last summer my dad was so worried about me, he said it was because i'd taken everbodys stress on myself. He was right, when i went to my dr i started cryin and said i was struggling to cope. I was making sure mum and dad ok, working, looking after my 2 girls who are 11 and 8.

    My poor husband who is so supportive, was working nights and taking kids to school cos i couldn't leave the house.

    All my friends say they weren't surprised when i got put on tablets. I'm only on 10mg of cit but after the horrible side effects at first they really help. I can smile again :D

    My dad knows he's not alone and when we're at the hospital and we see someone alone having treatment he says i'm really lucky.

    Sorry for gabbing on!!!!

    Thanks for listening

    michele x x

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  • Posted

    Good morning Michele and Andrea

    Hope you are both well and ready for the days work?

    I'm going to do some housework so that the house is fairly clean for when the District Nurse arrives to redress my brothers leg. Then off to work for the morning and maybe food shopping this afternoon.

    I'm pleased to hear you are doing well Andrea my Hubby got the all clear for his brain tumour a few months ago. Its such a relief. Its such a stressful time when you are ill and when your loved ones are ill.

    I also took on all the family stresses Michele when my hubby became ill and thats why i'm struggling with anxiety, depression and my own illness. I didn't realise what I had done till about 6 months ago. I just took over it never occured to me what I was doing.

    Have a good day and take care.

    Lizzy

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  • Posted

    Morning lizzy,

    Just about to leave for work, hubby and kids still fast asleep !!!!

    Have a good day.

    Take care.

    michele x x

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  • Posted

    Oh Lizzy and Michele

    Don't you think it is funny that we are all here with stories of cancer? Do Not stress yourselves about it ,i am really ok about it if either of you need a supporting hand helping with family who have gone through what I have i AM STRONG ENOUGH TO HELP.

    I am checked out every 6 months now and I think our NHS is really good

    I know why I got a bit \"off\" last week it is because I have an appointment tomorrow . My Oncologist is really funny she always asks me how I am then says \"drop youre knickers and lets have a fertle about\" oh gosh all you women know what I am on about!!!!

    This forum is all about how we feel about anxiety and other stuff

    look after yourselves and keep strong for yourself.........as you are strong for someone you love xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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  • Posted

    Hi Michele and Andrea,

    Good morning to you both.

    The health service can be really good in some areas, but rest assured when it comes to rarer diseases like I have got it is really appalling and I wouldn't treat anyone I know the way I have been treated. Hense the reason I am so anxious and depressed. My hubby was treated really well.

    Sorry just had to get that off my chest.

    :choc: :coffee: for breakfast.

    Have a good day both of you.

    Lizzy

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  • Posted

    Hi lizzy and andrea,

    Thanks too you both for getting me through a stressful week smile

    Everything going ok here, kids enjoying what's left of easter hols, mum and dad fine and husband got a few more grey hairs looking after kids while i've been at work. :lol: :lol:

    Work been busy as usual, just got this morning to do. I'm tired this week, my dog is now in the garden barking wanting me to play!!!! yeah right, not in my pj's :?

    Hubby is on holiday from work at the moment, it's nice having another pair of hands to help, although my house looks like a bomb site.

    The weather been lovely here in leeds, bit of sun on your face works wonders, although why does everyone start wearing hardly any clothes when the sun comes out?? it's not that warm :lol:

    Better get ready for work, speak later.

    Take care

    michele x

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  • Posted

    Good morning Michele and Andrea

    I have a weekend of cleaning and re-arranging ready for when the German studaent arrives Monday. The kids are now fighting about who is going to sleep where.

    Done 3 loads of washing already, hope its a nice day so i can dry it outside.

    Enjoy the weekend.

    Lizzy

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  • Posted

    Morning lizzy and andrea,

    Hope both of you getting through the week ok?

    I've had another busy one already, the weather here is lovely so been doing the garden.

    Painted decking and fences on monday, did loads of washing yesterday.

    Dad had chemo, only 9 left now it's gone so quick smile

    Back to work today, it soon gets round to wednesday !!!!!

    Dad been a lot better since talking to the nurses last week, he now realises that he's going to get mood swings. Me and mum just let him get on with it and don't take it personel.

    Well i'd better get a shower and wake the kids up, i love this part of the day before it turns into a mad house.

    Take care

    michele x

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