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Ugh, so I went out drinking with my mates all day Saturday, woke up Sunday morning very hungover and just feeling very depressed/anxious. Can't shake it off, I just feel so depressed, I hate my job but it's so well paid I couldn't possibly quit it.
But my main gripe is health anxiety, Ive just got so many symptoms and one will randomly pop into my head and i'm like what if it does kill me? Mole on my arm is it cancer, palpitations are they some deadly arrythmia? im just so tired of it Yesterday what set it off is that theres a footballer who's just had to retire from football at 23 who plays for Benfica because on his medical it found he had heart problems. And reading anything like that just sets me off, hate hate hate it.
I've had all the tests done, i've had a load of ecg's, a 72 hour ecg, stress perfusion cardiac MRI, an echocardiogram, excercise ecg..
Just symptoms like every now and again i'll get like a flutter/tremor in my chest that will last like 0.5 seconds, then it'll stop, sometimes with a thud of a heartbeat like after an eptoic beat. It's not one of those its an actual flutter, I googled it and they say it's fine, its basically your anxiety just tipping over and that aslong as it doesn't last longer than 30 seconds theres no need to see a doctor but i'm like just dreading if it ever does last that long.
My current job is just sitting in an office with no windows or anything 9 hours a day 5 days a week basically doing nothing, sometimes I wish i left an become and electrican or something so i'm always up and about doing something keeping myself busy.
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