Really bad thoughts going through my head :-((((

This is a situation beyond what most here are capable of helping you with. If it were me I would suggest you both go to a marriage therapist for some avenues to approach the intimacy issues between you. 

I'm a little unclear as to how having sex with your wife would 'tip you off' to her being unfaithful. Does an affair leave its signature on her thigh saying, 'Joe was here'? It seems like an odd thing to say. Who's on this med, you or her?

She sounds like she has some issues of her own based on your post. I wouldn't take it personally until you find out in counseling WHY she is taking this position with her own husband. Good luck and sleep well. She may need to work things out and, with help, this issue may resolve itself...

I'm sorry, I meant 'incapable' of helping you! :{

This is a very strange reply - if you have been on meds for some time has she always responded this way or just recently?  Was everything okay until last week and when she said 'how can you think like that the way you are' have you been acting differently?  I really think that you need to talk it out with her.  Perhaps take her out for a meal or somewhere she cannot just walk away and explain to her how you feel about her reply.  Something is not clear and if this has just started last week I would be suspicious also.

Hi Hanky...it was only yesterday u posted on the 'working while on sertraline' thread that ur wife had gone to work and left u a lovely poem that "made you cry buckets" etc and that you know she wants you?? Maybe she's just finding it hard to cope too

This is a horrible situation to be in and not something that can be easily answered. All I know is as a woman who has been depressed and rejected her husband at all costs is that really time and talking is the only way to solve this. There has to be a point when you both realise that maybe the old life can't be bought back over night and may never come back the same. The whole sex thing to show love doesn't work. She is 55 and most likely not interested in sex full stop whether it be with you or anyone else. Sometimes it's just seems to much of a step to take when it's been absent for a while and not easily over come if the drive isn't there. It sounds like you are trying to make her prove her love for you by having sex or you want to prove and show your love to her in a sexual way but this could be putting too much pressure on her. Have a cuddles only rule for a bit for as long as it takes and let her take the first steps back to a sexual relationship and remove that pressure completely. It may never come back the way you want it too but you didn't marry her to have sex all your life I presume? You married her because you became best friends and wanted to share a life together. I very much doubt she is cheating on you at all, I suspect she probably feels under pressure to have sex and dreads any intimacy because of where you may want it to lead and she doesn't feel ready for it. Just concentrate on getting mentally well again and focus on becoming friends again and enjoying your life together. You may have to understand that she may never want to have sex as often as she used to or even at all. Menopause is a tough process for women and sometimes removes the sex drive completely. Be happy together, long walks holding hands and cuddles when you both want but with out the pressure of it leading into anything more. It's also important to know that this is no ones fault, not yours and not hers. It's just something you both need to work through together and hopefully find some sort of deeper love at the end of this phase. Time is a great healer and wish you all the best. X

You're welcome. I had servers postnatal depression and was prescribed sertraline and really struggled to come off the tablet and discovered this site. Found it really helpful and in some ways it's been therapy for me as I've been able to say and talk about stuff that I haven't been able to do with my family. I don't think anyone can understand depression unless they have been through it. I think my husband would be horrified if he knew the thoughts I've had and how close I was to ending it all and taking our kids with me. I'm ashamed of myself but luckily sort some help and hence why I was put on sertraline. It's taken time but I'm through it now and gutted that I missed out on so much because of this darkness I've been fighting with. Don't get me wrong we're not perfect now but we're getting there. The most important thing at my stage of recovery is stop and smell the roses. I have a caring husband who loves me, although doesn't quite understand it all but he has stuck with me when many would have given up long ago. I have two beautiful children that break my heart everytime I look at them and think about how close we all came to deverstation. But we made it through. Its important to remember that you can get better, especially on those days where you feel you can't.