really need advice

Posted , 7 users are following.

I've been on 20mg cit for 5weeks now, last week I was feeling so much better but at the weekend me n my husband had a huge fall out and he said he can't cope with my anxiety and we argue alot, even tho my anxiety was getting better n I'd been acting normal around him he said he's just anticipating it coming bk, so basically he told me he didn't know if he wanted to b with me n e more sad anyway we have worked thru it n he says he does love me n wants to b with me, but my anxiety has totally rocketed now I can't eat sleep, I feel faint heart racing, over thinking everything and I'm scared to death he is going to change his mind n il end up a single mum of 2 young boys with no job or home sad what I'm asking it will things get better or will I have to increase my dose of cit? I've never been higher than 20mg n I'm scared to alter dose as I get terrible side effects and duno if I can bare feeling worse and with abxiety being part of my relationship problem...I just duno what to do I'm so frightened x

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  • Posted

    Of course you're going to feel anxious with that worry happening.  I'm so sorry to hear of this, and I feel for you.  Not only do you have to cope with anxiety, medication and side effects, but also the added stress of a relationship in jeopardy.  I always say 'if your partner can't cope with your anxiety, then just think how you're trying to cope - it's much worse for the sufferer'.

    Some people don't understand and expect us to be better quickly.  It's very tough for both sides.

    No I wouldn't increase your dose, your anxiety will calm down eventually and you'll start to feel good again.  Can you explain to your husband that this recent worry has exacerbated your anxiety, and that patience is needed from everyone?

    Whilst taking my medication and being recovered for a long time, I went through the grief of losing both my parents within weeks of each other.  I was very scared of my illness returning, but though I grieved for a long time, my illness didn't return.

    You're still on early days so not yet at the full benefits the medication will give you.  You've had a few days feeling good, and once your marriage worry has settled you'll once again get back to feeling good.  You might get days of feeling good and days not so much, but this is all part of healing.  Eventually the good days will stay.

    I hope all works out for you both ... have you considered counselling together?

     

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    • Posted

      I just feel worse than ever, even though he says everything is fine,  I don't think he wud consider counselling coz he says I'm just being silly now n need tobforget about what happened, but me being me I can't n I'm worrying like crazy that everyday he's guna come in from work n say he's changed his mind x
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    • Posted

      It's bound to make you feel really worse, even someone without anxiety will feel the effects of that for a while to come.  Wondering 'what's' and 'ifs' are going to make you anxious.  It's easy for someone to say forget about what happened, but it's not that easy when you're ill.  It's like rubbing salt into a wound.  It's going to be tough for a little while I'm sure.  Talking together, love and reassurance will be a great healer.

      Can you take some exercise?  Even walking.  It helps to expel anxiety too .... good whilst you get through this.

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    • Posted

      Suppose ur right kate, well he's sent me a lovely message today saying he hopes I'm Ok n he loves me n we r going the gym tonight so I wish my anxiety would calm down I know I'm prob over thinking everything now but the anxiety Is so difficult x
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    • Posted

      Hi ..having suffered anxiety for over 40 years I feel for you as you need support..my advice would be to see your doctor and explain things at home..there are other meds he can give you short term which wiill help you with this added anxiety 

      best 

      pat

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    • Posted

      There is nothing on earth more likely to increase your anxiety than worry about your relationship breaking up, however the more you worry, the more anxious you get and the more likely it will be to happen.  Vicious circle.  I think you must try to take your husband's words on trust and understand that we the sufferers can inflict untold distress on our nearest and dearest and sometimes they just have to let it all out even though they really dont want to.  You are definitely over thinking everything but that's understandable, it's part of the illness we suffer unfortunately.  Do try some counselling, you can go on your own they are very happy to speak to you alone and try to help you through it to see it more logically.  As a last resort, try 'acting', ie try not to express your anxiety over and over in your husband's company even though you may be feeling unbelievably fragile.  I try so hard to hide mine if I can in front of friends and partner, because frankly they are sick to death of hearing me whine all the time.  It may help me to vocalise but it drives them batty and then they avoid me. 
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  • Posted

    I hid my illness from everyone except my husband.  Nobody ever knew in all the years I was ill.  I couldn't talk about it because I didn't know what was happening to me.

    :-)

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    • Posted

      I really do understand that Kate.  I didnt actually know for years and years there was anything with a label to explain the way I was, I just thought myself a 'bad' person and an incredible worry wort.  I didnt understand it was an illness and that doctors could diagnose it.  It's such a struggle trying to fit in and not just drive everybody insane with our anxieties and those who don't have the problem obviously cant understand why we stress so much about things they consider minor.  Just glad modern medicine has at last developed ways of treating us.
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    • Posted

      I was the same.  It was 6 months before I went to the doctor, and I felt soooo embarrassed having to explain my thoughts and feelings.  I thought they'd think I was a nutter and lock me up!  I was initially ill in 1979 and there wasn't any SSRI's like today, and though I took other anti depressants, I suffered for many years.  I needed to talk about it so much just to relieve my symptoms, much to my husbands annoyance (bless him).  SSRI's have been a godsend and thank goodness for modern medicine as you say.

      I'm so amazed at how many people post here and I think 'hey that was me'.  I wasn't alone after all :-)

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  • Posted

    Hey there, sorry you are having a bad time.

    I am on 40mg of cit but have been taking pregablin for the last 6 months as well as my anxiety was through the roof. 

    Why don't you go and see your gp and ask for something to alleviate the anxiety.

    I know it's more medication and none of us like the thought of having to take more meds but if you need it then you need it. 

    My anxiety has reduced significantly with the pregablin. 

    Also I find rescue remedy helps. You can buy this from boots.

    May I also suggest that you ask your husband to read up on anxiety disorder so that he fully understands how how you are feeling and may be more sympathetic. I understand that it must be hard for him also but hopefully your anxiety will subside over time and you will feel much better.

    I am a single mum of 3 under the age of 8. Life is incredibly busy and hard and I continue to battle through with the help of my meds. You will get through this. Stay positive. Thinking of you xxxx

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  • Posted

    Thankyou everyone I do think I need to just act normal or I'm guna push him away I just hope soon I start to feel more relaxed x
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