Really unsure now

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What's really annoying me is how this all started by me getting scared off a scary film pretty much and I don't know why I couldn't just nip it in the bud there but anyway I'm not sure about anxiety anymore because I feel like I'm just left with a horrible feeling of like not feeling like I belong to myself or asthough my brain isn't mine like if that even makes sense and from everything I seen on the news that then made me have intrusive thoughts badly and now I really worry about them because they pop in or I think about them it's like the first thing I think about in the morning and it's like anything negative I see or read I know I'll think about it like I just know I will and it's always negative rolleyes I don't know wtf is going on anymore I'm really questioning if I'm seriously tapped.. There's people out there doing drugs and what not yet I've ended up like this and it's really annoying because I bet ever used to be selfish I always cared about other peoples feelings before my own but now I feel so selfish n just arghhhh idk

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