Reassurance

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Hi guys im just after some reassurance. Ive been on citalopram 20 mg before around 2 years ago, for a year and a half for anxiety. It absolutely 100% changed my life, i had never felt so calm and confident in my adult life. After side affects they kicked in within two weeks....i was flying!

So after 18 months the doctor said that she would like me to try and come off them, and me feeling so great agreed. I had no side affects coming off and felt just the same as when i was on them. But around a month ago i started getting burned out, people started to say i looked tired and my old friend rumination came back.

So after a week of this i went straight to the doctors and told them and they offered me citalopram again, which i almost snapped there hand off for! They have also signed me off work. So ive been on the 20 mg for just over three weeks and just feel awful still?? I just dont get why they arnt working this time, I'm just running at 50%, bad anxiety in the night and morning,poor appetite( have lost a stone ) but i do feel quite calm in the afternoons?.....until the night games begin.

Regards Craig

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  • Posted

    It will take time for them to kick in again, even longer than last time l am glad they helped the first time.
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  • Posted

    Hi Craig, perhaps they are just taking a little longer this time. Try not to loose heart as I have heard people say it can take more than a few weeks before your'e back on your feet. Just keep going and hopefully you will tirn the corner soon. I am on day 5 of an increase from 10 to 20mg, so I understand how desperate you can feel trying to fight the side effects and to be well again. Patience really is a virtue. Good luck and I hope you feel much better soon. Lee. 
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    • Posted

      Thanks guys, and Lee, your right patience is a vitue. The thing that hurts is last time i was on citalopram i did things i would never had of done in a million years like the tough mudder race, felt ultra confident at work etc

      Cant belive i came off them. I saw your post and see your having the same trouble with side effects

      Cheers Craig

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  • Posted

    Hi Craig

    This is my second time in these meds, having about a year off in between.  This time around I found they took longer to kick in, but you know they worked for you before, so just hang on in there.

    Recovery often comes in patches, so when you describe that you feel quite calm in the afternoon until the evening, shows that it is working.  When I recovered I felt dreadful in the mornings, and often felt OK by the afternoon/evening, only to feel dreadful again the next day.  Sometimes people can feel well for a few days, then ill again or a few weeks well and then ill which can last for quite a while.

    It will happen again for you.

    Something to keep in mind if you decide to come off them again one day in the future.  These worked great for me, and the only reason I restarted Citalopram was due to the stress of family illness so I decided to restart before I slipped back too far.  I've since reduced my meds once again from 20mg and am now down to 5mg and will stop again next year.

    Anyway - have a read of the below:

    When you're off Citalopram try a natural SSRI called 5-HTP which needs to be taken with l-tyrosine.  Both can be bought from Holland & Barrett (if you're in the UK) and you need to take them both.  Read a book called 5-HTP The Natural Way to Overcome Depression, Obesity by Michael T Murray ........ it's a really interesting read.

    You need to be off SSRI's completely before starting 5-HTP as they must not be taken together.These have no side effects like Citalopram does.

    K x

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    • Posted

      Thank you for the kind reply kate i really appreciate it. I also after all these years cant seem to accept i have a illness i just think im stressed out which puts tons of pressure on myself exacerbating the anxiety . Its a sneaky devil anxiety, how it attaches its self to things without you realising till too late, and citalopram does stop all that internal chatter and ruminations . My boss and work collegues have sent well wishes and told me to take my time, but i feel so worthless/ at the moment, like im a let down. I have my month review on monday and they said that they may up the dose

      Kind regards Craig

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    • Posted

      That's unfortunately how this anxiety / depression illness works.  Yes, it definitely creeps up on you, and once it's grabbed hold it plays on your emotions, your thoughts, your happiness, your physical being and refuses to let go.  I remember that incessant internal chatter well - it was like I was constantly arguing with myself.  It's very tiring.

      People do feel worthless and a let down, but you're not.  You can't help this - its a physical process and it's your body doing what it's programmed to do under stress.  With the help of medication, understanding and reassurance from people, your body will start to heal again and you'll be back up on top where you were before.  It'll take time, but let recovery come to you in its own time.

      Glad your works are understanding.  My son also had exactly the same - started last year and was off work for 4 months.  It took him about 8-9 months to get better, and is now back to himself again. 😊

      Good of luck with the dose increase.  Let us know how you get on.

      K x

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  • Posted

    It's the meds making you feel like this, it will def pass xxx I'm on week 6 now and feeling better than I have in ages, you are on the hideous bit of still feeling crap but wanting desperately to feel better. I can't believe Ive come this far, this site has helped immensely. I bet, give it another couple of weeks (that sounds like forever I know) and you'll feel so much better. The morning anxiety is the b**** as you go to bed feeling ok. This week so far I've felt ok in the morning too so hang in there it won't be long xxx big hug xxx
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    • Posted

      Thanks kate and marf youve made me settle down a little tonight. My friend came to visit me on sunday, she rang her son for me on skype and he has just gone through the exact same thing as us on citalopram. His anxiety had attached it self to health problems hed got it in his head he wouldnt live till Christmas . He was laughing and said he was on first name terms with the pharmacist and local A and E because he couldnt help but keep ringing them to check that he wasnt dieing.....he felt that ruff! And he said one day he woke up and it was gone!!! He said he had the exact same daily pattern of anxiety too!
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    • Posted

      It's great to share worries and get reassurance.  Knowing that others are going through, or have been through, exactly the same helps so much.  It is very weird how bizarre thoughts plague us when we have anxiety.  I had plenty.

      Now I look back on my experience with it, I can also remember a couple of amusing incidents I found myself in too. 😀  When you're better you can look back and see it in a completely different light, but when you're in it you're thoughts turn inwards and you feel you'll never escape.  A very bizarre illness.

      That will be you soon - you'll feel well as you were before and able to look down on this experience with a smile 😊

      K x

       

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  • Posted

    Hi craig,

    Been on it once for a year and it really made me a normal and happy person, confident and can cope up to anything, i weaned off last february and anxiety came back with vengeance this august.

    Your right, i hate the fact that we just started to notice it and realize when its too late...

    Now im on my 16 wk on it,,, the effect of cit is very tedious ... Slow and it will test your patience... But compare from 3 mos ago i am very different,,, but not yet 100% my oldself...i take 10mg

    So since your off to your work give yourself time to fully rest and heal... Make yourself busy (i know its hard) but just try... Surround yourself with your love ones and relative,friends... Sleep when you feel it...i think when you have enough sleep youll heal a little faster...

    Its a long journey for us.... But i know its worth it...

    This site is very helpful ...katecog...marf and the rest 😇😇😇

    So just update us with your progress

    Keep taking your meds

    Hugs for you craig

    Jv

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  • Posted

    Hi guys so i managed to stay in bed all night last night, although didnt sleep through i did manage to keep the anxiety at bay. Got up about 5: 30 and took my citalopram then went and snoozed in bed and managed to stay there till about 7:30. I got up and had a wave of optimism, played tug with the puppy and had a bit of a laugh! It got to about 8 and the anxiety kicked in so i had a shower and took my little boy to school and my wife and i had a walk through the town centre with the dogs and through the park and had a chat with some dog walkers. Anxiety more on and off today...kinda i half hour intervals but have noticed over last two days that im starting to feel better a little earlier in the day...... have a good day everyone and hang on xx
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    • Posted

      Hey john probably my best day for a week tbh. Ive been able to read a book for a while this afternoon without lossing consentration too much and freaking out! Also felt better earlier,Ate three meals today too, need to get some meat back on my bones!!

      Take care Craig

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  • Posted

    Hi guys, so i managed to watch some documentaries on tv last night and found myself snoozing on the sofa, slept for about 8 hour last night and got up and have self reffered for some CBT sessions. Im going to ring them later and check they have got it. My wife has roped me in to go carting tonighf but im not going to think about it till later lol
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    • Posted

      Hey get you!! You couldn't have done any of that last week! That's great xx yes, think about carting later or else it'll worry you all day xxx
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    • Posted

      8 hours sleep eh!  That's great.  CBT will help a great deal .... and go-carting - exhilarating!

      It's the start of recovering ...... 🙂

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    • Posted

      Yeah ive found im wanting to relax on the sofa now.Had a sleep this afternoon aswell after a long walk with the dogs, maybe im starting to relax a bit

      Cheers Craig

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