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I have been on holiday for 4 days and I'm unable to relax it is totally dreadful. It has been slightly better today but my anxiety seem to be worse in the morning. I keep having those thoughts that really frightens me like I'm in a different country, they don't speak English, I can't escape... Its horrible. It doesn't sound like anything but it makes me feel dreadful where I just want to leave now right now this second, not in an hour, tomorrow, NOW. I just don't really know how to deal with this. Does anyone get that? Only going home on Wednesday night! Then 4hrs in the plane which I hate as again I can't escape. It's awful. Like I can't calm myself down. If I was by myself I would leave in the next flight but I can't I'm with my partner and I pretend that everything is ok. He really needed/needs this holiday. I'm so bored, I try to occupy myself but why do I have those thoughts?! Why won't they go away?? Why can't I just enjoy myself and relax like everyone else does here?! Sunbathing and eating that's what everyone does... I just can't!! I'm so pleased we have wifi in the room. Please can anyone relate? Have any tips for as long as I am here? I listen to some relaxing music in the evening and take 20mg citalopram. I really try to occupy myself not to think about it but those feelings are still hovering around... Please help, am I going mad? What's the worst that can happen?? I feel like screaming so frustrated I get! So exhausting to feel this way ... X
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