Reassurance needed please

Posted , 7 users are following.

Hi there,

I have been on holiday for 4 days and I'm unable to relax it is totally dreadful. It has been slightly better today but my anxiety seem to be worse in the morning. I keep having those thoughts that really frightens me like I'm in a different country, they don't speak English, I can't escape... Its horrible. It doesn't sound like anything but it makes me feel dreadful where I just want to leave now right now this second, not in an hour, tomorrow, NOW. I just don't really know how to deal with this. Does anyone get that? Only going home on Wednesday night! Then 4hrs in the plane which I hate as again I can't escape. It's awful. Like I can't calm myself down. If I was by myself I would leave in the next flight but I can't I'm with my partner and I pretend that everything is ok. He really needed/needs this holiday. I'm so bored, I try to occupy myself but why do I have those thoughts?! Why won't they go away?? Why can't I just enjoy myself and relax like everyone else does here?! Sunbathing and eating that's what everyone does... I just can't!! I'm so pleased we have wifi in the room. Please can anyone relate? Have any tips for as long as I am here? I listen to some relaxing music in the evening and take 20mg citalopram. I really try to occupy myself not to think about it but those feelings are still hovering around... Please help, am I going mad? What's the worst that can happen?? I feel like screaming so frustrated I get! So exhausting to feel this way ... X

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11 Replies

  • Posted

    It seems like your anxiety is worse on a morning as you are getting yourself worked up for the day? 

    You are doing amazing. You are getting by. Share ypur thoughts as much as you need to. 

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    • Posted

      Thank you for your kind words I really appreciate it smile it was so bad before that I started gagging (happens when I'm really anxious). Forced myself to some dinner, had a camomile tea and now in front of the tv feeling a bit better (would be nicer if the film was in English but never mind).

      Thank you x

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  • Posted

    I'm sorry you are very upset and it's not a good holiday. I still think you should go to the ER amd tell them all about it and get some Xanax till you get home. Then when you get home talk to your general practitioner.

    the anxiety will go away with the benzo and I'm sure you won't get addicted I a few weeks.

    i hope you feel better quick.

    PS...I know it would be hard to go to the clinic and you probably don't want your bf to know , but for now just think of how good you will feel without the nerves. I think he will see a big difference. Actually the benzo group of meds was made for a situation like this...short term.

    💙

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    • Posted

      Thank you Rose. The only problem is that I hate taking medication. I have been on citalopram for over ten years and now I can't come of it sad I tried many times. I do have some diazepam with me that the GP prescribed a few weeks ago but I'm so worried to take it that I only managed to take one tablet and I didn't notice any difference - apart from me worrying more as to take this is kind of the last resort for me so it's like I can't cope and unfortunately that's one of my main problem -> I want to be in control. I can't stand the thought that I would feel different because of a tablet. I know it sounds mad but I just find it very difficult to change this thinking pattern.

      I don't even know what I'm scared about here apart from being in a different country and not being able to go home for another 3 days! Not speaking Spanish...and what would happen if I lost the plot? ... Just horrible to feel this way... Have you ever felt this way abroad? X

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  • Posted

    Longer term I really think therapy is the way forward for you, otherwise I fear you will do what we all do and turn your life into ways to distract and avoid rather than resolve. This can work in the short term, but trust me it's not going to work long term, I've been there before and still am to a degree. Please, get the right help and forget about trying to run away from it, therapy really does work if you give it the time it needs
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    • Posted

      Thank you very much for your reply. I started CBT a few weeks ago but so far I don't think it has really help me. I always feel like I read as much as them on the subject... I know what it is and what it can do yet when I'm in the middle of it, it doesn't matter, everything I know or read about disappears.... It's like I need a little reassurance person next to me all the time.... So difficult when you have a partner that is rational and doesn't really understand what's going on. Saying that they can't be blamed when we don't even understand why we feel this way sometimes... So many people would be delighted to be on holiday and I just wanna go home and feel like I am ruining everything... X
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    • Posted

      I know what u mean. I too am always looking for reassurance to help calm me when things are bad. CBT didn't really do it for me either, there are other forms of therapy that could work better. CBT works for some, sometimes it takes a while to find the right therapy
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  • Posted

    I know how that feels.  We were in Rome earlier in the year and I was convinced that I would die.  I just worried and worried.  Only when I was completely absorbed was I relaxed and not anxious.  Plan you days so that you don't have to rush, try to think positive thoughts, you are there to enjoy yourself, and if you do find things getting the better of you just stop, breathe deeply and focus on achieving whatever the task ahead might be.  Good luck.  You WILL be fine.
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    • Posted

      Thank you smile I try I really do but it's so difficult. How did you managed when you were really bad? I start gagging, shaking, feel like I'm not quite here, can't eat, get extremely quiet/hardly talk, feel like I'm losing control/my mind and just scared! Get very sensitive to noise as well like loud music, drunken people... I feel like I can't relax and that those actions/people will annoy me. I'm basically anticipating the worst situations possible. Before I was walking and I could hear everyone speaking different languages and it freaked me out! how can this be!? baring in mind I speak 2 languages too. Things don't make sense sometimes - i get scared and feel uneasy about the stupidest things! I just hope that the next 3 days will be ok. Really can't wait to get home x
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  • Posted

    How long have you been on citalopram babette? If its early days I'd say this is side effects. Just keep telling yourself that. If it has been a while, it may be worth talking to your doctor about lowering or raising your dose - it isn't always right. If it's anything under 8 weeks you've been taking it, I would say try to ride it out if you can.

    Drink calming drinks like herbal teas. Try lots of breathing (but naturally, don't try TOO hard as this makes me feel more anxious). Just KEEP telling yourself, however boring it sounds, 'this is JUST anxiety, it CANNOT hurt me, it WILL go away'. 

    Stay strong x

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