Recently disclosed feel scared
Posted , 2 users are following.
Okay so I've just come out of a relationship with the guy who gave me this gift
I think I stayed with him because I thought no one else would want me but I would look at couples in love and be like how unfair
So blablabla
I started to really like someone and I knew he really liked me and my plan was to just have some fun with him without sex or him giving me oral and sack it off but the more time I spent with him I started to like him and eventually I thought either way if I don't tell him and move on I've lost him but if I do tell him it's a chance that he might be accepting
So after some research I told him I didn't cry or act scared I just said it like I need to let you know because I really like you and the only reason it's hard to say because I don't want you to feel like I'm gross
His reply was 'that's it? I thought you was going to tell me you were born a man'
And I instantly thought okay mate lol so I told him to do his research and come back to me and he said 'my mind will not change' I told him it's caused me pain and he said 'what affects does it have on health' and I said none really apart from mental health
So he said 'I won't change my mind'
And the next day he messaged me 'I've thought about it and I definitely still want you'
And we've been meeting up and he's been eager about getting more intimate and having sex and I'm so scared to do it
I feel like I need to reject him in a way because I don't want him to get this
He's obviously done his research so he knows there is a risk
But I'm just too scared to actually have sex
I won't live with myself if I pass it on
Any words of wisdom?
I have hsv2
I'm 21 he's 31
0 likes, 6 replies
cathy177403 Livelife
Posted
Wow! Sounds like you might have a keeper! You have absolutely done the right thing and approached this by giving him all the facts. He is going in with his eyes wide open! I think rejecting him is because somehow you think you don't deserve something good when you've got 'something bad' but you really do! Go for it! Don't punish yourself or him!
Livelife cathy177403
Posted
Yeah he is amazing and I think deep down I knew he'd be okay with it
But it's like I really don't want to risk him getting it
I don't think he understands the emotional trauma this causes when you first get diagnosed and when you have to disclose
I feel like I need to sit him down and say 'hey look if we don't work out would you really want to be telling people you have this'
I just feel like if someone doesn't have to have this and if someone can avoid this then they should
I just feel really sad and I just think he is way too god for this
cathy177403 Livelife
Posted
No one deserves this but why give him the choice if you are going to make the decision for him? Do your research and be careful and you should be fine! I haven't told my partner yet as I've not had an official diagnosis but I hope he is as understanding as your fella!
Livelife cathy177403
Posted
Yeah that's true and I mean he really saw it as what it was he actually made me feel a bit silly haha he said 'okay so it doesn't cause health problems the symptoms don't last forever, it's a skin condition why are you making a big deal out of it' and him saying that was like well erm yeah that's true but I get sad sometimes
The bad thing is truly the stigma
I'm just scared of giving it to him
I've started suppressive therapy and I'm noticing my body in everything!!!
I don't want to harm him but oh my god I was with him last night and he was just amazing, he was so super sweet and lovely and didn't look at me like I was disgusted what so ever, and he didn't apologise for slip of the tongues as well because he was having a joke saying his down below grew and he said 'it's a disease but I love it' and I was thinking oh Christ please don't start apologising but he didn't he said the joke like he would before
He's so amazing
I told him the % risks of him getting it which I got from google and even though I read what I was seeing
I just felt like I was like because if I got it so easily how come he won't?
cathy177403 Livelife
Posted
I'm still very new to all this and getting my head around it all but i think once we truly understand how and when this skin condition affects us as individuals then we can live with it better. You will perhaps recognise when your outbreaks are coming and then minimise intimacy then to reduce the likelihood of infection? And unless he's had a herpes specific blood test done already you don't actually know that he hasn't already got it! 1 in 4 people have it but dont know, from what I've read online! Craziness! You're a good person with your head screwed on so it's natural that you are just being considerate of him. Do your research together and get him to have a blood test then you have all the facts!
I want my results to hurry up so I know what I am actually dealing with here lol! Boyf knows I'm having tests but I haven't gone into detail. Think I'll see him.this weekend and have a pre-emptive conversation!
Livelife cathy177403
Posted
Hey sorry for my long reply
Did you get a full diagnoses? Did you tell your boyfriend?
Yeah I didn't really take supressive before being with him because my boyfriend before had it so we was like f**k it we don't need it,
But now I've started supressive and we're definitely going to use condoms but I know it's still not 100% f**k this would be so much easier if you couldn't catch it when you didn't have an outbreak