Recovering from anorexia

Hi Jools,

I went to my pediatrician. My mum was obviously really worried so she mentioned that she didnt think i was eating proper amounts and they realised i was severely underweight. I saw a dietician and a counsellor to start with up until quite recently actually and she gave me different things to try and help me gain the weight i needed to. For example, pro cal which is a really high calorie drink, that I took shots of. For me it was eating lots of carbs (pasta, rice..)  as carbs normally contain a good amount of calories. Also, fruit and vegetables, to keep your vitamins and minerals up. And unfortunately, (so i thought anyways) quite a bit of junk food. Chocolate, sweets.. anything with high sugar really. It wont last forever dont worry Im really sorry to hear about what you're going through, I know its difficult. But just dont give up, and keep trying. You will get there. I didnt think I would be able to do it, but i've gone from 39.6kg age 14 to 50kg now age 16 since last August. The thing that kept me going was my family and friends, I thought "I need to do this to them" but also for myself. If you want to talk anymore or have any questions, just direct message me. More than happy to help x

Hi,

Yeah, so much better.

I saw a counsellor, which helped me a lot with all the confusion. I no longer see her though

Before I would hide away in my room, hardly ever go out and if i did it was only to see family and not really want to talk to anyone at all about my problems or issues. But now, I am more relaxed and calm. I dont get stressed as much either. I go out more with my friends and family as much as I can, I socialise more and I dont hide away in my room. I talk to my mum about my problems, instead of bottling them up. So yeah, my mental state has definately improved

 

Hi Jacquie,

Your friend sounds a lot like me..

Its nice that she has someone she can contact if things get tough again! Over here, in the Isle of Man we dont have anything like that for people of my age (12-18) unfortunately.. I always wanted to have someone to talk to other than my parents, friends or family. I even offered to speak to young people around my age (16) who want someone to speak to, because I dont feel its fair. Im sorry to hear about what she went through. It is good to have no one fussing over you, or making you feel different in some way. I gotta say, my mum did that and I didnt like it at all. I know now she was just worried about me. My relationships at home improved also, and now if i dont eat all my meal, instead of being forced to eat it, I am allowed to go back later and eat more.

Anyways, thanks for sharing that with me

all the best for 2015! Holly x

 

Handy I'm doing a gcse in food tech then! I think pasta is normal to eat as it has loads of carbs, also it's pretty simple and adorable really. It's literally just a case of doing what it says on the packet. Easy sauces.. Carbonara I make is fairly simple, spag Bol. I don't know if you like pasta, but it's an idea. Jacket potatoes are easy and cheap. Cheese is good too, so that's good to have on them. As far as recipes are concerned, if you direct message me I will let you know some good ones of whatever type of food you like

I did get tired, but I wouldn't say severe tiredness. It's because your body is suddenly grabbing all the calories it's been without to keep you actually going and it's not leaving you with much energy.

And thank you ! Xxx

Your meal plan sounds really good from what I can tell! Keep it up! :D X

Hi Harriet - you mentioned you are struggling with weight gain and that you are at your safe weight.

I get this. I am the same, the day before my last session with my dietician I realised that I had gained 1kg. Not a fluctuation, actual weight gain.

I had a chat with him. His advice, because I menstruate regularly, eat regularly (now) and my bloods are fine, being under weight isn't an issue.

BUT, and here's the problem...recovery is about healthy thinking. One of the main reasons people relapse from this position is because ritualistic patterns emerge. They don't want to alter any ways of eating incase their weight goes up, but they are also scared for it to go too down as well. They live on the edge, and if it goes under a bit, well that's okay right? But then, going under becomes the new safe...repeat. And before you know it, you relapse.

Your weight band is there for a reason. You can trust your weight band, because it doesn't biologically force you into binges which are caused by your body wanting you to regain lost tissue. You target band is predictable with fluctuations of 1-3kg, and you are less emotionally vulnerable at that weight too.

I don't deny it's hard...I'm in the same position, because having just been discharged from outpatient services, I'm taking managing on my own as my first priority. But I wanted to reiterate that they are right, and sticking to the plan is the most important thing ever.

When I was discharged from IP care in 2007, I thought my mealplan was too much, and starting cutting out snacks and then dessert as soon as I got home. Before I knew it my lunches had become salads and then carbs went, and then I had started overexercising, and then I entered a relapse.

Stick to the plan.

Hi,

Thank you for replying. I haven't been into hospital, I was close though. How are you finding everything?

I know I have to stick to the plan but I feel because I have hit my safe weight I don't need to eat the big amounts I do, as I am scared of putting too much on but my counsellor says to carry on because she would like to see my BMI higher.

Thank you again for replying

Hi Harriet.

Thanks for your response. The first thing to say is that it's great news that you've not been admitted. Keep it that way. I ended up with other behaviours as a result of my admission which I am still fighting. Being in hospital is the dullest thing.

My last bout of treatment was all outpatient and although it has taken longer I am doing so much better because of it. Because I had to make the changes myself. In hospital you don't get that choice. And you know the worst part...if you don't comply? (Because mentally you are so unwell and you just want to take it slow but can't), they put you on an NG and section cos of funding so they can keep you in for longer and justify to authorities why you are still there. That's what has just happened to my friend.

It is much easier to do it on your own at your own pace. If you slip up you don't get a tube, but you just have to push yourself to get back on track again.

Keep fighting hun.

Thank you! and i was the same, i didnt want to put weight and still dont. I see myself now as a fine weight, well.. I know im a bit underweight but i guess I just dont like thinking or talking about it. I've always been slim, thats not going to change as my parents were at my age too. But my parents keep telling me that its becoming a problem again and my dad is always saying "i've seen more fat on a chip holly.." Advice.. I would say try and eat like 6 meals a day. sounds a lot, but i mean like 3 main meals and then small snack type meals in between. Nothing too big as to put you off your main meal. Lots of carbs, they are calorific. Make sure you get all your nutrients, vitamin D from oily fishes, vitamins A and B from your fruit and veg. Im sorry for the late reply, i've been really busy revising for my GCSE's.. Its hard being 16

Keep strong, Holly x

Thank you for your reply, I'm the same age and I totally get that GCSEs are stressful! I have always thought of myself being fat but I'm told I'm not by my family and I compare myself to others all time. Is that normal? I know I'm at a healthy weight but everyone would like me to more on but I just can't and don't want to.

Thank you

im the same too, my parents keep saying im too thin now, my boyfriend says the same.. and i know i am, but i dont wanna admit it i guess. In some ways i think im okay but in others im not. direct message me if you want to

I get that, I know I have a problem with food but i still try and eat as low calorie things as possible and try to burn them off which I know I shouldn't be doing but I can't help it! Yeah, sometimes I think yeah I'm good, it's okay but others I just wish I had out the weight on. Direct messages would be good but I'm not overalls sure how to that!

Thank you