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hello i am depressed for 1 week i had depression 13 years ago for a while but i was put on lots of medications but then i fought it on my own it was a very dark place in my life i dont want to ever go back!!! but this past week i have been feeling sadness depressed etc...since i have been drinkign 2 glasses of wine very night when i am ove rmy boyfriends house on new years day my boyfriend asked me if i was ok so that triggered me thinking im becoming an alcoholic maybe just like my dad or brother it runs in my family as you can see so when he asked me if i was ok i got very sad from that point on every night after that i did not drink i was scared to touch a drink because i was scared to drink and also i dont know if i drank because i wasnt happy when i was at his house because its quiet neighborhood different thatn where i live in the city is very loud busy i dont know why i am feeling this way now its been a week and i am feeling the feelings i felt 12 years ago! i am moving in with my boyfriend in about a month and this just started i was excited to move in etc.... i was engaged 13 years ago well together for 13 but engaged for 8 i started to get depressed while the end of our enagement and i went into full blown depression i was living with my mom i had intrusive thoughts it was worse years ago this past week its just sadness pushing to get out of bed going to work etc...i am working very hard on getting better and i know i am strong i fought it the last time not quickly but i was put on alot of medications 13 years ago but i weaned off of all of them and i started to go back to gym got a job changed my life completley and i did it on my own with no medications i am so scared right now!!!! i dont want that to happen to me again. i know i am strong i know i can fight this during the mid afternoon my hopes get better like i said i love my boyfriend hes my best friend the best man i ever met and i dont want to lose him!!!! i do self talk alot to myself to get better when the evil negative s**t comes into my head!!
what do you all do? any feeback will help? honestly i dont think i am an alcholic btw i am a light weight i dont mix i just love wine i have at least 2 cups if any its just ever since that night something just dug at me and now i feel like shiTTTTTTTTT
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