Sad and stuggling

Posted , 8 users are following.

Fake it till you make it doesn’t work... I’m okay at work because I’m so busy and don’t think about my home situation or my feelings of worthlessness.  Once work is over my life  is so dismal- I’m in my late 50’s and I suffer depression, see a doctor that thinks I’m doing ok. But I have no energy to make my life better - I want to feel good.. I know I have to make changes in my home / personal life and I can’t muster the energy to help my situation. Been on various meds for at least 10 years but nothing is helping,  I am afraid  & tired . In a loveless marriage and have isolated myself. No friends or activities because I just don’t do anything but work and pay bills, which sucks. 

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5 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Maureen. So sorry I can hear your pain. I stayed in that rut for years and it's very painful.  I finally decided that it was like being in quick sand. I finally divorced him after 28 years and was shocked to find I have never missed him. I guess I grieved it long before I left. Shocked me. Sitting on the fence is the most painful place that I have ever been! But that was my decision. Sorry for your pain. Please please keep us posted. We care!! 

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  • Posted

    I feel for you, but can't offer any useful advice as I'm in the same situation myself. Do you have episodes of deep depression periodically, following stressful events (I do) or is your depression ongoing and do you feel about the same all the time? Have you had any talking therapy or any other psychological support/intervention, apart from medication? Have you had this problem since you were young or is it something which started in your middle years? My advice is to try to get some support which, even though it won't "cure" you, might help you feel a bit better in the meantime, and I found talking to a counsellor and making small changes gradually to things in my life, to get myself out of any "rut" or habits I've fallen into, have been of some use in the past-though, sadly, the "black dog" seems inevitably to come back as fierce as ever from time to time.

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  • Posted

    maureen,

    it reads like you don't have control over what happens in your life yet you endure the pain which is a great capacity but will not change the life for what you want it to be. i know it is easy to say and i also know how hard it is to make a real change.

    try to find out what would you do if lack of energy would not keep you from doing it.

    at the same time i read out you're kind of paralysed and in a state where you think you can not change anything. yet you can. have you reached out to someone and talked about your situation? have you asked someone to help you in this matter? if you're trying to do it alone you may not end the cycle. please get help.

    maybe even your husband could be the one you turn to. for some reason you loved him once and married him right!?! what do you have to lose? even if he thinks he wants a divorce then it might not only be you that needs a change?

    regards,

    d

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  • Posted

    Oh Maureen I feel your pain. I am in the same situation as you. I am ready to retire but going to work is the only thing I have in my life. I come home and do a minimum amount of housework, I have no energy for anything else, have no friends and family has left me. At times I am grateful for my loveless marriage because it is all I have. If I leave will things be any better? This is not the way I wanted my life to be. It is so depressing! I hope you have someone you can turn to that will give you the strength to leave and try to start again. 
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  • Posted

    Hi Maureen - sorry to read of your situation. I wondered whether a change in meds might be called for? Also, making changes can be daunting, but can be tackled one step at a time. Make sure you are well set up first if you are considering ending your marriage. 
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