Posted , 10 users are following.

So I am due to go in on Friday for my hysteroscopy and my man just dumped me.

He said things changed and he's not feeling it anymore. We just came back from holiday with my 16 yr old daughter and his 11 yr old son ( that acts like a 5yr old but the father doesn't ever say anything or disciplines him. I keep my mouth shut and don't say anything as it is not my kid and I don't have to live with him.

But here I am with all my menopause symptoms coming back because I stopped HRT, anxious and tearful, due to go in for the test on 2/9, we were suppose to go together to Israel for a wedding now he bailed out of it.

At the same time sad I feel a bit of relief.

The man doubled his drinking consumption, drinking 40 units per week and smokes like a chimney. When I would see him it would be the same routine him smoking and drinking himself stupid and eating at the pub. I would never complain, was truly quite complacent and easy going. Nonetheless out of the blue he comes out with I am not feeling it any more.

Any of you been through this??

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33 Replies

  • Posted

    I got dumped after 25 years of marriage!   Personally, I think you are better off without him.  Find your support for the menopause symtoms with woman who get it.   

    Try to focus on the "bit of relief" without him.  Somehow, I get the feeling it won't be that hard to do.


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    • Posted

      Hey sweetie


      I am sad but not in awe. I began seeing things that I did not really like such as the heavy drinking and smoking. 40 units a week plus going to the pub.

      I just feel hurt because I have been so good and dedicated to him and then this.

      During our trip to Spain I put up with his kid seeking attention and acting like a 5 yr old and did not say a thing while I was expecting him to discipline him but he would never. When my kid got her GCSEs results (secondary school results) she did not get the mark needed to take PE in high school and she was upset and he just told her u didn't study enough so don't complain. Any other mum would have felt offended but I kept my composure.

      His heavy drinking and smoking started

      bothering me and it has become excessive. Maybe I came out of a dire situation where the man is drinking and smoking himself into an early grave.

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  • Posted

    Sorry to hear what your going through.

    I'm a man on this forum (yes I know it's strange) the same happened to me 6 months ago with my partner of 11 perfect years together, I still and never will understand what happend

    If he really loves you he should give you FULL support at this time, if not, he's not worth it and you deserve better

    Good luck

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    • Posted

      Ahhh Steve you seem to be a man with a heart. I find it lovely that you are in this forum. Gives us women hope.

      His attitude began changing once the health issues began and I said I was coming off HRT.

      We were supposed to go off it Israel for a week and he just dropped it all.

      I swear on my son's grave I have been nothing but good and supportive to him. Never underminded him and always did all I could to make him happy. He always said I was the one and he never felt what he felt for me with another person.

      Go figure what happens.

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    • Posted

      You said

      "He always said I was the one and he never felt what he felt for me with another person"

      I got the same speech from my partner and then she had a complete personality change, it's heart breaking when the person youve built a life with turns their back on you

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    • Posted

      Yes it is. Although we did not live together.

      I don't know. I think that the excessive drinking and smoking is a sign of something not right with him. He always drank and smoked but not as he has been lately. He is walking to an early grave but that is not my problem, nonetheless I have been so good to him u have no idea. His family said to me once that before he met me he wouldn't do anything with himself. Since he met me he did more that he had done in a life time.

      Always organising fun things to do, concerts, trips but he just comes out with that.

      My sadness is his lack of support and running away when most needed.

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  • Posted

    Hello I think you're better off worh

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    • Posted

      I think your better off without him and deserve so much better to be honest. can I ask why you are having a husteroscopy ? I am waiting for one too for spotting and thick womb lining too of 11mm but still peri.i have had one failed attempt when awake and now I have to have it under GA XX
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    • Posted


      Thanks for your empathy.

      I am having exactly for the same reasons as u 11mm and one day of spotting, so we r in the same boat. But being dumped when u need support is hard.

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    • Posted

      Yes I feel feel you I'm so day of spotting I'm sure is nothing. ?how old are you? My gyn put me on progesterone to stop a very heavy period.but said being peri 11mm is only slightly thick so fingers crossed for both of us.🙏

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    • Posted

      Hi, Natacha,

      You did your best for this oaf, and what, he became more "oafish." Congratulate yourself on the fact that in 10 years you won't have to kick this jerk and his teenaged mini me son to the curb.  

      Everything he's done and does says more about him and nothing about you! Sounds to me as if he wanted a "Mommy'" and not a partner.  

      If he comes groveling back, don't take him!  You're better off without.  Hold your head high and know that you've got better, more important things to do with your life, like get well, and show your daughter, by example, that you're a strong woman.  And, strong women don't need to be taking care of  weak, self centered men.

      Let us know how you do! xx


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    • Posted

      Thank you.

      All you say is right. And my girls are worried about me. Unfortunately the sadness is still there but I shall overcome it. I managed to bury my son and deal With his loss and then the collapse of my marriage. I shall concur this one.

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