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Scan day

Posted , 9 users are following.

sazzie42
sazzie42

Hey ladies

Had scan today - the young lady was very kind. I can contact the doctors next week for results.

Walked out and just burst into tears. The waiting room was busy so I gave them something to laugh about. Had an embarrassing moment at a friends last night. I had braved it out - (took me 10 minutes to knock on the door.

Then I totally flooded my underwear and jeans with an untimely period?!!

I left the hospital and just wanted to go back to bed. Husband wanted to go for breakfast!! He reminded me he kindly picked me up this morning and it would be nice to do. I agree with this but not with how I was feeling.

I try and explain but I'm not doing a very good job of it lol. In the restaurant again I was the entertainment for others- Not through choice. I got very upset - I could not stop the tears - hubby frustrated with me ( rather loudly) what have you got to cry about??

I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me.

I wanted to hide under the table. ( I do have a bulging disc - to add to the pile) which has not helped.

Finally got home and just wanted to go to bed.

It was only midday.

Totally drained and feeling so low the panic and dread of work tomorrow started to make my head and heart pound. The awful thoughts drenched my mind - breathing got harder- thoughts of not being good enough at work tomorrow ( on a phased return to work due to disc).so I feel like I'm being tested -- paranoia or what!!!!

This has to stop? I laid my head on the pillow.

The next I knew it was two hours later.

Felt a bit wobbly but much better than earlier.

Hubby bought up a cup of tea saying - this is not meant to make you cry but it's OK if you do I'm trying to understand!!

We locked eyes and for that split second we smiled.- then I cried!!!!!

What a roller-coaster of a day.

Managed a walk before the rain.

Had tea as a family and yes more tears.

Ok if I'm going to do lots of crying that's the way it is. I will have to stop what people are thinking or that I have ruined their day as that makes me feel worse and I wonder if people are worried about me when they see me in tears - I doubt it.

Let's see what Monday brings x

Hope it made you smile ladies and please do laugh I know your laughing with me.

Big hugs all.

3 likes, 21 replies

21 Replies

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  • elizabeth2244
    elizabeth2244 sazzie42

    Posted

    Hey sazzie you have not answered my replys that i gave you. I sent you two replys and i have not gotten an answer from you it seems like you are skipping my reply and going to other replys this hurts my feelings like i am not being noticed 

    Elizabeth

    • sazzie42
      sazzie42 elizabeth2244

      Posted

      Hey Elizabeth

      I am soo sorry if that's how you felt.

      I would not want you to feel like that. I did not reply on purpose at all. Please accept my heartfelt apologies and have a big hug from me. I have read your post and it sounds like it's been soooo tough. Well done for only phoning in sick on one day. How has your day been today? A better one I hope.

      Big hugs from me x

      Sazzie42

    • elizabeth2244
      elizabeth2244 sazzie42

      Posted

      Thanks i will i just hope you are doing better today. There are times i just want to cry and i do sometimes i just cry myself to sleep 

      Elizabeth

    • sazzie42
      sazzie42 elizabeth2244

      Posted

      Hello back Elizabeth

      Do you have a nice warm bath to help with relaxation and meditation to aid with sleep?

      I ask only as I have found this helps on occasion and wanted to share.

      It's not nice to cry yourself to sleep.😔

      A good sleep can help the next day better.

      Wish you a good one tomorrow x

      Sazzie42

    • elizabeth2244
      elizabeth2244 sazzie42

      Posted

      Yes a warm bath does help me to relax at night there are times i have to take two of them at night plus a shower to help me relax. 

      Then after my second bath i am out like a log and i am so tired sometimes i don't know if my iron is low with how tired i am because underneath my eyes they are a little dark like my iron is low i wonder if that could be causing my carpal tunnel in my hands becsause this weekend was the worse with my hands 

      Elizabeth

  • Sochima822
    Sochima822 sazzie42

    Posted

    Hi Sazzie, oh dear, I went through the same thing. But Macca, and St. John's wort are 2 well known herbs to help calm the nerves, and settle the emotional roller coaster crying ride. St. Johns wort helped me, maybe it can help you too, that's if you can buy it where you're at. Here in the States, the pills fly off the shelves when it comes in, and women order it in advance so they won't be caught off guard without them. If you're looking for relief I think either one will help or wait a whole year before the crying stops. I would opt for the pills, also, this is just the beginning, you have a lot more coming up but before waiting for the rest, I would start on the pills. Macca was highly recommended as well, but by that time my symptoms were almost gone. I would try Macca for the hormonal ride, and St. John's Wort of the anxiety. It certainly gave my significant other peace of mind when it was no longer about me all the time, lol.  I hope this helps.
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