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not wrote for some time I have been on quite an even keel, but since last Monday things have gone downhill for no particular reason.
Mon did voluntary work and broke down crying for no reason. Went out with friends broke down again went to toilet hoping friend would come and see if I was ok but no one did. Managed to compose myself and rejoined group.
tues very low didn' t get dressed till 3 pm
Wed asked friend if she was still availed for coffee, Unfortunatly not arranged to meet someone else, but said she could possibly meet at 3.which was too late for me. She did come round to my house but I still wasn't dressed very unusual. Was pleased to see her though, she said I need to try and snap out of it.
Thurs took overdose but not enough to do much harm. Phoned CMHT long chat and appointment made for Sat.
Fri should have gone out with work colleagues but didn't go. Did see brother though.
Sat saw CMHT practioner lovely she had spoke to me Thursday, long chat some very deep seated issues brought up. Advised not to take tablets again but easier said. Also advised to try and really talk to psychiatrist next Monday.
so why am I scared, hubby is going away tomorrow for 2 nights, will have no support at home and hubby doesn't know about overdose and how I am scared. Not normally scared of being on own. Friends all have big family issues themselves I have no family near me.
I have got some tablets and vodka in the house just bought some coke (something else I don't normally do )as I normally drink vodka and coke when out
i do not feel stable I have strong erge for tablets and alcohol. and don't know how I will manage on own.
i could ring CMHT but I would only want to speak to one practioner if she is available.
really scared advice will great fully be received
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