scared. frightened

Posted , 11 users are following.

I don't know whether this is all connected to primenpause but I have periods when I feel down and scared I'm 53 and my partner is 49 I'm dealing with the issue I wish I'll met him earlier so that I could have more years with him and I don't know how many years I've got left with him I know this is morbid but I just can't deal with these feelings it gets me so down I want to be happy however long I have left with him are these feelings connected will these ever go away I just feel so sad it's always there in the back of my mind and I have to keep them there I don't want to die and leave him I'm crying as I'm writing this .....HELP

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  • Posted

    totally normal i was told in jan i was peri menopausal after waking in the night thinking i was having a heart attack sweating dizzy and palpitations i was so scared then after a visit to my gp he put me on the sick with peri anxiety and iv spent the last 7 months convinced iam dying of something even thow all bloods are all fine, anxiety and health anxiety play a big part in peri as your hormones are going daft try not to worry iv had the paramedics out twice since jan feeling so ill and the doom and gloom iam dying and deep down i know its a panic attack iam now learning to live with these symptoms my gp offered anti depressants but i said no try breathing and mindfulness and tell youself its all hormonal and everything is going to fine, the ladies on ere help so much if it wasnt for this site i would have lost the plot a long time ago big hugs to you and hope you feel better soon xx

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    • Posted

      Agree 100%! But for this site I would have checked out a couple of years ago. This was literally a life saver.

      Now I know that whatever happens, I am stronger than what I feel at that particular moment. But yes, it is a struggle in the beginning coz your head tell you - you are dying, but you gotta let your brain take the upper hand and remember that you are stronger.

      Hang in there, it does get better (or "betterish") with time.

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    • Posted

      I know exactly how you feel. I have been to urgent care twice and had the paramedics to my house twice because of my "episodes". When they are over I am shocked that I am still alive - that is how awful they are, and how bad I feel during them. It is hard to even describe - the heart racing, feeling faint, and an overwhelming sense that I am going to die. It's terrifying. 😦

      I have had all the blood work and cardio tests done and nothing is abnormal. But I know how I feel, and it is 100% real. I am having some hormonal testing done through a compounding pharmacy to see what that turns up. I may try going on BHRT to see if it helps. I am sooo tired of feeling like crap at least 50% of the time. My poor family is probably tired of it too. You might think of checking out a compounding pharmacist if there is one near you. They have so much knowledge about supplements as well as prescription meds that may help.

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  • Posted

    Hello Jill

    It will go away, you have to have hope. There have been lots of posts from ladies reflecting in the same way about life, mortality etc it seems its a common part of the journey and I guess it makes sense. If it's any consolation, I feel the same about my hubby and I met him when I was 23! Think it's a sign that you met your soul mate and no amount of time is ever going to be enough. Do what you can to be present in the moment, and definitely try meditation because it's really good for resetting how you feel. Keep your chin up love xx

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  • Posted

    Jill, it's hormones screwing with your brain. Try to keep reminding yourself of that!

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  • Posted

    thank you to everyone who replied to me this forum is a lifesaver I'm glad I'm not the only one going through this I just want it to stop all the thinking I know my brain is just over thinking stuff

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  • Posted

    Anxiety and depression are one of the first things to hit you and peri because your "feel-good" hormone progesterone nose dives. I feel the same and I don't even have a partner. I think who would want me know fat and falling apart from hormones and how many good years would I have? And I'm 47!!!! Thank god you made it through your 40s fine and have a loving guy. You are very lucky ! Enjoy him. Also I tell myself new health breakthroughs come through every day and more and more people, esp women live to 100!!! So keep the faith they will find cures to make us feel better live longer and well and see a therapist for something to calm you or boost your mood. Also adrenal supplements can really help. Go do something fun or relaxing with your awesome guy!!!! You're 53!!! You have DECADES left!!!! My mom and dad are 89 and still driving and living in own home. No major issues. Honestly I feel like our generation has more ...

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    • Posted

      Hi Sakura, what kinds of adrenal supplements are available? I need to fix my adrenals, but am having a tough time doing it. Nothing seem to work 😦

      Thanks in advance!

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  • Posted

    Hi there..YES this is very normal - I remember when I went through it - I actually started avoiding going places especially alone...for some reason being alone frightened me more. I remember my mother telling me not to worry, she said "You will get to a place where you all of a sudden feel vulnerable and mortality kind of gets close in your face but then it will all clear and you will feel much better, it's a transitioning phase." This helped me a lot in getting through those times.

    Hang in there - I think the best advice for Menopause (Peri) is that there are true feelings, anxieties, questions, emotions and so much more and when we realize it is all part of this transition it gets better

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  • Posted

    Hi Jill,

    Sounds like you and I both attach through anxiety. If we truly love someone, our primary expression of that love is fear--fear of loss, fears for their safety, etc. Anxiety can rage in peri/menopause. And if we are attached to someone, we go into worry overdrive. If you can, try to see this anxiety, paradoxically, as a good thing. The anxiety is an expression of how deeply you love your partner and how grateful you are to have him now.

    And you are not anywhere near close to dying. But in peri we often feel like the changes in our body are terminal. (Not true.) You will likely both live for another 50 years. You'll be together long enough for you to get a little tired of him crunching ice or hogging the remote. I promise.

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