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scared of developing scizophrenia

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alison82593
alison82593

Lately I've been so scared im developing scizophrenia. Never in my life had I had any symptoms of scizophrenia until I started becoming scared I'd develop it. I literally trick my brain into hearing random voices. I don't have any hallucinations or anything but I subconciously and purposley make myself hear voices. It's like im trying to make myself believe I'm scizophrenic. Has anyone ever purposley put vouces in their heads? Or is it just me? It happens at random times but I think it's because the fear of scizophrenia is in the back of my mind. Or do you actually really think I have it or am developing it? I also get all these delusional thoughts about lufe and existence and how weird everything is. I'm a very anxious person with ocd and very severe derealization. But only the pure o part of ocd which involves my racing thoughts.

1 like, 32 replies

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  • kayla1865
    kayla1865 alison82593

    Posted

    I've felt like that before, and I've tricked myself into hearing voices, as well..
    • alison82593
      alison82593 kayla1865

      Posted

      How often would it jappen. We're they random? Sometimes it happens when I'm not thinkinh about hearing voices. But I feel like im subconciously doing it. I never hear them through my ears. I'd be more worried then lol
    • kayla1865
      kayla1865 alison82593

      Posted

      I hear them, randomly. To be honest, I don't care of you think I'm crazy, but I've always been "sensitive" to paranormal. And me trying to psychologically relate things to illnesses, when that stuff happens, drives me crazy! Last night, I was feeling really depressed and anxious, and I laid my head down, listening to music in my earbuds. I had already heard some guy say my name, by the way. As soon as I did that, some black mist/shadow-looking thing, came rushing towards me and I felt cold, for a few seconds, then it was gone. For a little while, I kept hearing a hoarse-like breathing, and I decided to turn on the lights. I got my brother, who's 15, to come into my room, in the dark (which is the only time really creepy stuff like that happens), and nothing happened... After he did that, left, and I turned my light off to get in bed and sleep, nothing else happened. But I still felt like something was watching me.
    • alison82593
      alison82593

      Posted

      Sorry for all my typos by the way lol
    • alison82593
      alison82593

      Posted

      I'm also sensitive to the paranormal too.
    • Purpledobermann
      Purpledobermann kayla1865

      Posted

      There is a theory that we are more prone to paranormal interference due to our low vibration (anxiety sufferers). Not sure what i believe. When I am anxious or very stressed i feel vulnerable and have seen shadows, flashes of light, objects falling off shelves and sudden breeze swooshing over my hair...indoors. Heard voices. Once i was sure i couuld hear conversations of people in a neighbouring building, like every tennant at once - was very noisy and scary. Also sensing and dreaming things that are just about to happen - but more often just vague premonitions just before something major happens like an earthquake on the other side of the world (proven and scary as hell), major disasters etc. Only on some occasion i know what will happen. Most times i just feel something major will/is happenning. Like anxiety wave out of thin air and then a wave of sadness (when a lot of people die at once). I decided this is unacceptable and tend to pull up my guard and shut-off. It works after a while and I am 'left alone'. My psychiatrist never commented on those throughout my therapy. Indeed the instances now that i have completed my therapy only crop up when i am very tired or very stressed.
  • michaelall35712
    michaelall35712 alison82593

    Posted

    I have dealt with this.  When I didn't know I had anxiety, I was thinking I had every mental illness known to man.  Have you ever heard the term "I think, therefore I am?"  Well it is true to some extent.  The reason I say to some extent is. Our minds play tricks on us, especially with anxiety.  We are so anxious we start believing the thoughts popping in and out of our head, because of "uncertainty" being uncertain about something makes our anxiety worse.  I notice you answered your own questions.  Your purposely make yourself hear voices?  Not really, because you can't do that.  Schizophrenics it is manifested from from a psychotic break, or drugs.  We have our conscious thinking that will make us think we hear voices.  You also mentioned that you don't have hallucinations, that is another that schizophrenics have.  You have OCD, which means you have obessive thinking.  Which you are constantly having thoughts "what if" this means I have schizophrenia? etc.  Have you seen a mental health professional to confirm this? If not, then I doubt you have it.  I hate to say this, and I hate word "crazy" But there is a saying "Crazy doesn't know it's crazy"  Most schizophrenics don't think that they have a mental illness!
    • alison82593
      alison82593 michaelall35712

      Posted

      Yes I see a physcologist. He told me I have sever ocd and anxiety. I constantly have racing thoughts about weird delusional stuff but I never actually believe them. But there is always that "what if". Then I think what if I am crazy but I don't think I am and I'm just telling myself I'm not. Idk it's crazy but the thoughts take over my life and make me so anxious and the derealization makes it feel so much worse. I question if people around me are even real. I mean I know they are but I think so deep about thinks I creep myself out. I get weirded out by my own existence. Like it's strange I'm here.
    • michaelall35712
      michaelall35712 alison82593

      Posted

      Stick to an focus on coping and managing what your psychologist told you are diagnosed with! If they felt you were infact schizophrenic do to what you told them, they would have diagnosed you as being it.  It is you anxiety thinking fooling you into believing everything you think.  I notice you say "what if" alot.  Which is classic anxiety thinking!  Are you taking any medication?  You may consider it, to help with your OCD!
    • alison82593
      alison82593 michaelall35712

      Posted

      I take valium for when I'm super anxious. I was prescribed risperdal for ocd. It's an off label use for it but I'm scared to try it. I want to speak to my dr about an anxiety med instead at my next visit.
    • michaelall35712
      michaelall35712 alison82593

      Posted

      Well that is your choice.  I was on paxil, paroxetine for my OCD, anxiety.  I was told by my doctor that it has a short half life in the body, and eventually was switched to lexapro which has been working good.  Hope you find something that works.
    • niamh_04
      niamh_04 alison82593

      Posted

      I can relate to this so much! As my anxiety has become worse Iv become so scared of my self and feel like Iv turned crazy and the thought of me being here doesn't seem real, I feel so disconnected with reality when I'm feeling very anxious. Your not alone
    • alison82593
      alison82593 niamh_04

      Posted

      Do you ever feel weird simply being alive or like the world is all in your head and not real?
    • niamh_04
      niamh_04 alison82593

      Posted

      When I'm having serve anxiety yes I get all of those, you just have to try and not believe what you're thinking. I know it's a lot easier said then done. I have to tell my self that I am here and I do exist and I'm not going crazy, all the time! The mind is a powerful thing and can make you think and believe things that aren't actually there. Have you been to the doctors?
    • michaelall35712
      michaelall35712 jen31560

      Posted

      Currently on 20 mg, working good.  I take 1/4 of a .25 mg of clonazepam for anxiety, and take more as needed for severe anxiety.  I was on 50 mg paroxetine before, but made a decision with my doctor to switch because the half life of the paroxetine. 
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