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Scary thoughts about inadequacy

Posted , 6 users are following.

athol91131
athol91131

Hi, has anyone experienced horrible scary thoughts of being inadequate. Difficult to explain. But keep thinking that there is something terribly wrong with me and I will never recover. I see someone on TV and I think.. I should be like them. I should have been a comedian or a presenter or a lobster fisherman or design and build my own house or ... etc. etc. etc. Scary feeling that i have made a bid mistake with my life and made all the wrong decisions about my career. I am an artist, making very little money and am 61. Frightened I will die in poverty and anxiety and depression or I will die screaming in fear. frightened that I have lost touch with my real deeper self. Anxious about evry little decision I make at the moment. Feel desperate for someone else to save me. Want to be looked after. Know I need to think about positives but cant think of anything. Full of cynicism about the world. Dont feel I am able to cope. Crying a lot and anxious all the time but it is the scary thoughts that I cannot stop that are getting to me. I meditate and read books about all this and my buddhist books help but know that this negative thinking is making me worse but cant seem to stop them. Help, anyone. Would be a relief to hear others have the same. Im on Ad's. doc has given me sedative but now feel fuzzy and dizzy which is making me more anxious because I feel like I need to stay in control and worry about any little symptom in my body. Im going for a walk noe because I know that helps. Cant seem to stop thinking about it all so much.

2 likes, 6 replies

6 Replies

  • jmcg2014
    jmcg2014 athol91131

    Posted

    All classic anxiety I'm afraid, I think therapy would suit you better than meds - it does me. Meds can't resolve these feelings, therapy can. Its a lot of hard work but its worth it
  • derek76
    derek76 athol91131

    Posted

    Did the greatest artists not mostly die in poverty with their worth not

    recognised until after their death. ? Now the Welfare State will save you from the extremes of poverty.

    Do you have any of your work on a website for us to enjoy?

  • Aspinan
    Aspinan athol91131

    Posted

    Yup classic anxiety and deoression symptoms, meds do help but long term CBT will help help prevent relapse and challenge those thoughts.

    meds really help in my opinion to get you well and for you to take the reignes again.

     

    • Aspinan
      Aspinan

      Posted

      On similar note I'm a musician and they do say that creative people are very sensitive to to self esteem issues, depression and anxiety, whether true or not I'm not sure. 
  • gillian20097
    gillian20097 athol91131

    Posted

    Do you suffer from depression also?

    The racing thoughts are a very common anxiety symptom but my anxiety has brought along depression for the ride and now my mood and thoughts are very gloomy. I feel guilt lots. How I'm having to rely on others? How I'm not being a great mum to my son? 

    I think we get to a point with anxiety where we get stuck and then depression sets in because we feel nothing is ever going to help.

    I agree with jmcg that therapy would be of great help to you. I am currently on medication but hoping when I start CBT, I can stop medication.

    The start of medication can be very daunting and you will feel worse before you feel better. I think very few people get away with no side effects and if you are inclined to worry,then like me you will worry about everything.

    I do hope for all of us that we find a way out of all this and see the brighter days xxx

     

  • anne240
    anne240 athol91131

    Posted

    Hello there.  You are not alone in your thinking.  I have had depression/anxiety for many, many years.  Last year my doctor persuaded me to withdraw from Effexor anti depressant.  That took 10 months as difficult to withdraw from and I did not get any withdrawal symptoms.  However lately I have been feeling anxious and down again.  I am very disappointed.  We should not beat ourselves up about trying to be in control.  I have just been for a walk, and like you, find it helps.  Blowing a gale today too!!

    I am retired and only have state pension and benefits and I worry all the time about not having much.  I only own half my home and housing association own other half and I pay them rent.  I live alone with my cat for company.  Feel so lonely, but try to get out.  I know what you mean about wanting to be looked after.

    I send texts to my dear daughter and scare her so much.  She is training to be a counsellor and that is partly due to the fact she has been my rock through years of depression and anxiety.  Bless her.  Awful to put a burden on one's child.  

    I am scared to go back on medication, I really am, but not sure I can deal with this without.  We all make wrong decisions, believe me I made many.  Too late now.  We just have to try to live our lives as best we can.

    Take care.

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