Self-Evaluation of Antisocial Personality Disorder

My findings:

Something that has been brought to my attention for the past few years of my life has been my ability to lack empathy and guilt, and I've decided to look into it. I know what guilt is because as a little kid my mother used to try and guilt trip me to get me to do something, and It worked on several occasions because I believed I was doing wrong by saying 'No', but since then it has vanished. Empathy, I know via textbook definition. To be completely honest, In public, I tend to put up a 'mask' and adjust it based on who i'm talking too, which enables me to be a pretty laid back guy, and get along with most people I meet. I do not have a criminal history, nor do I intend to, since I do not see how it could benefit me, but there are several triggers, big or small, that can boil me with anger, but I keep it suppressed unless i'm alone. Being touched is one of those triggers, as I do not feel anybody has the right to intrude on my territory, and it irks me that their thought process even considered the action. Through the process of evaluating my thought processes, it has come to my attention that I share many symptoms with that of a Sociopath. I tend to not care for others, or there feelings; however, I do care for the lives of a few people outside of myself, those being close friends that I've had for years, but I cannot sympathize with them when they come to me about their problems because I do not know how to assist them, and deep down I don't care. I can see myself being hurt if they were to pass, because I would miss the entertainment they provided my life. I don't know if I would consider myself extremely social or overly charming like many humans diagnosed with Sociopathy tend to possess, in fact, I tend to not bother introducing myself to new people because I do not see how they can benefit me or my life. I've had one serious long-term relationship in my life that began when I was 11 years old to 15 years old, and over the years I've come to believe that it was more selfish love that held me into the relationship, simply having a constant thing in my life that I could throw problems at to just get them out of my head- if that makes any sense. I have a sense of humor, but It tends to be fairly dark, and I joke simply to get a reaction out of somebody, it makes me 'feel good' but I can't seem to identify why that is yet. I've screwed over many others, and I've never felt a shred of guilt. I've hacked numerous social media accounts belonging to acquaintances just to take it all away and can say 'Hey' the next day like it never happened, I lie constantly to see how far I can take it, and consistently attempt to manipulate people because it it once again makes me 'feel good', whether it be setting two people up to argue, convincing them to give me money, or simply because I want my way. My friends tend to call me an *******, because of how insulting I can be, and how I never apologize 'meaningfully'. I apologize on rare occasions, not because I feel bad, but because I realize if I don't make amends it leaves me at a loss. I also tend to be very irresponsible, attempting to set myself on a schedule to meet a goal, but it has never gotten carried out. I've realized that every interaction I have with someone is for personal gratification, even if it's unintentional. I can be very impulsive when I am seeking entertainment, however these impulses have only gotten me seen as an '*******', not as a violent person. I do not plan to go to a psychologist for insight into this matter, I am just curious of the medical forum's insight into the situation.

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