Severe bout of Anxiety
Posted , 4 users are following.
I have always been a nervous/self-concious/shy guy, but I started with GAD about 8 years years ago. I've been medication free for over a year, it's funny that through that time I've been through some of the most stressful times a person could go through. I bought a house and shortly afterward lost my job, spent a month getting turned down for jobs, worrying about not being able to pay the mortgage, until eventually taking a job I didn't 100% want.
I can't say that through that period I was anxiety free, though I can say I dealt with things fairly well. I'm a year into said employment and organising a wedding (18th of July!) and, well, I'm screwed. It's been pretty stressful at work recently, that coupled with feeling that I should be doing something else, trying to organise my own stag do/suit fitting (cheers best men, the reason I chose two of you) and helping organise everything else, I feel like I'm finally begining to crack.
The past few days have been hell, I've been experiencing severe anxiety at work, on the train home and even at home, where I really should know I'm safe. I wouldn't say today as been as bad as previous days in terms of stress, but I left work feeling terrible, I got half way to the train station and I was so close to finding somewhere to hide and asking someone to travel the 30-odd miles to come and rescue me. I was dreading walking into the centre of town, but I stealed myself and realised after a while that it wasn't so bad.
I feel so close to going to the doctors and going back on the medication, but having been on them for so long prior I really don't want to go back there. I feel like if I do, I'd be surrendering to it. I want to fight it. I know that for the most part my thought processes are dictated by the lessons/fears learned by a 3 year old with an agressive father, but I also know that I can overcome that.
I'm considering private therapy, my experience on the NHS has been mixed, and a little impersonal. But for now I'm considering short term meds like Diazepam, just to take when I can feel the stress building.
What do people think?
2 likes, 7 replies
judith35831 animald
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animald judith35831
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judith35831 animald
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animald judith35831
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judith35831 animald
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arun93 animald
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What I would do is leave aside all thoughts of changing employment. I know the feeling exactly - been in and out of 3 jobs within about 1 year before - at University now. The manager in my first job was horrible and I used to dread it whenever he was around. I just didn't think about it when I got home - remember the work/life separation. Don't think about stresses of work when you get home - home's for chilling and enjoying life. I mean ideally, you want to feel the same relaxed state at work, maybe talk to your colleagues or manager about your stress so they are aware of it. But keep going, Diazepam is really not good for staying alert - it will make you drowsy and forget where you are (experience of a friend). And share your feelings with others - helps to lighten the burden and makes you feel better. All the best
mary03830 animald
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hugs mary