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I don't even know where to start but this is the first time I'm posting and sharing this issue anywhere on the Internet. I am a 36 yr old female who suffers daily from health anxiety. I have had this for as long as I remember but as I get older it just gets worse and worse. My family life was good growing up.. I lived in a household where I never even witnessed my parents fight or argue..very old fashioned. I remember being as young as 8 and I would have anxiety about my mother leaving the house. I was so afraid that she would never return due to a car accident or some other disaster. I remember not being able to sleep if she wasn't home. When I was young I had anxiety about going to the Dr. Just thinking of it got my heart beating. I don't know what created this nightmare but I wish I didn't suffer from this daily.
I feel like everything is wrong with me. I have been getting this shooting nerve pain headaches in my head pretty much daily since 2009. I am so scared of my health that I steer clear from the Dr. I can't go..I am so scared of getting bad news that thinking about it gets my heart pounding. I looked in the mirror one day and was afraid of seeing 2 different sized pupils from these headaches that I couldn't look in the mirror for 2 years. I am overweight which causes me stress too.. I am depressed, tired etc. every pain that I have I feel like it's impending doom. All I want is for this to be over and I don't know how to solve this problem. I am currently suffering from frozen shoulder.. It took me nearly a year to go see an orthopedic due to it.. I went once and never went back. I have high blood pressure and am diabetic which adds to the stress. I just wanna cry..! I don't know what to do with myself anymore..! I feel like this issue I deal with daily is so ridiculous.. I follow kids who are dealing with disease on Facebook and all I can think about is how can I be so scared yet these kids are going through their trials with a smile on their face everyday. I'm afraid daily and honestly I'm sick of feeling this way..I'm married and have plenty of friends they know but don't know what I go through daily.. I hide it well. Anyways I'm sorry for rambling I just wanted to see if anyone else goes through this..most storied I've read are the type of people that go to the dr for everything and I'm the complete opposite. Thanks for listening.
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