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Severe Health Anxiety I don't know what to do anymore..

Posted , 8 users are following.

kel1luv
kel1luv

I don't even know where to start but this is the first time I'm posting and sharing this issue anywhere on the Internet. I am a 36 yr old female who suffers daily from health anxiety. I have had this for as long as I remember but as I get older it just gets worse and worse. My family life was good growing up.. I lived in a household where I never even witnessed my parents fight or argue..very old fashioned. I remember being as young as 8 and I would have anxiety about my mother leaving the house. I was so afraid that she would never return due to a car accident or some other disaster. I remember not being able to sleep if she wasn't home. When I was young I had anxiety about going to the Dr. Just thinking of it got my heart beating. I don't know what created this nightmare but I wish I didn't suffer from this daily.

I feel like everything is wrong with me. I have been getting this shooting nerve pain headaches in my head pretty much daily since 2009. I am so scared of my health that I steer clear from the Dr. I can't go..I am so scared of getting bad news that thinking about it gets my heart pounding. I looked in the mirror one day and was afraid of seeing 2 different sized pupils from these headaches that I couldn't look in the mirror for 2 years. I am overweight which causes me stress too.. I am depressed, tired etc. every pain that I have I feel like it's impending doom. All I want is for this to be over and I don't know how to solve this problem. I am currently suffering from frozen shoulder.. It took me nearly a year to go see an orthopedic due to it.. I went once and never went back. I have high blood pressure and am diabetic which adds to the stress. I just wanna cry..! I don't know what to do with myself anymore..! I feel like this issue I deal with daily is so ridiculous.. I follow kids who are dealing with disease on Facebook and all I can think about is how can I be so scared yet these kids are going through their trials with a smile on their face everyday. I'm afraid daily and honestly I'm sick of feeling this way..I'm married and have plenty of friends they know but don't know what I go through daily.. I hide it well. Anyways I'm sorry for rambling I just wanted to see if anyone else goes through this..most storied I've read are the type of people that go to the dr for everything and I'm the complete opposite. Thanks for listening.

1 like, 7 replies

7 Replies

  • danielle_m
    danielle_m kel1luv

    Posted

    Hi i have health anxiety too.. mine is really bad... like i have symptoms from it idk if u do or not but i overthink things to the point where i get really tried and somedays i feel unbalanced and i also feel like im drunk... which is really scary... i have been thro sooo many tests bc i didnt know what was going on... i always was scared of getting something and im scared of a allergic reaction to meds... i also cant sleep at night bc my mind is constantly goin...
  • Hans15
    Hans15 kel1luv

    Posted

    Hi kel1luv, I'm so sorry you feel like this- but just remember your not alone!! So many of us suffer in so many similar ways, I have had severe health anxiety but I am getting better, and the first step for me was to stop googling my symptoms & also trying to clear my head by going walking with friends/doing things to keep me busy/take my mind off all these 'illnesses' I had (I don't have any) you just need to believe that- and I know first hand it's far easier said than done!! Have you every considered therapy? I have recently started, I know the thought may be daunting but my therapist has helped so much, they are so understanding! Also I found a website that explained the physical effects of anxiety, if I was feeling dizzy or had headaches/ breathlessness I would just read the explanations which would calm me down. It's hard when your family don't understand and you feel like no one can possibly understand- writing/reading on here has really helped me also! If I can find the website with the physical effects I will post below for you! Best wishes x
  • elizabeth11977
    elizabeth11977 kel1luv

    Posted

    Hi just want you to know that I'm exactly the same as you! I am now 67 and can remember feeling terrified of the nurse in school at 5 years old. I too have been petrified of all things medical .......docs hospitals etc all my life although dentists are ok. Only time this anxiety didn't bother me was when I was pregnant! Never thought that there could be anything wrong with me or the baby! I always thought that was strange! I am tuned into my body all the time. Any ache pain blemish ANYTHING has me in a panic! it's a horrible way to live! As you say most people will go to docs . At least they must get some reassurance. im so sorry that we are both having to deal wth this! Maybe one day we'll be better! E.
  • louise_emilie
    louise_emilie kel1luv

    Posted

    So sorry to hear how low you are feeling. There are so many of us out there and we can't all have a serious illness. I am different to you in that I rush to the doctors whenever I get a panic. I know it's hard to try something new, but therapy has helped me a lot, as has medication. You mention that you are overweight. Could you channel your anxiety into trying to lose weight which in turn may help with the high blood pressure and diabetes??? I have lost a lot of weight and it does make you feel better and more able to do things. I know it's probably the last thing you feel like doing, I know when I have been bad all I want to do is lie in bed and worry, but it's true what everyone says, you have to stop checking the Internet and keep very busy. Are there any exercise groups near you? Do you like reading fiction - that's good for the soul too. Please try to do something to get yourself out of this worry cycle you are in.... Thinking about you.
  • shar44323
    shar44323 kel1luv

    Posted

    You mentioned that you hated when your mom left home because of a fear of a car accident and when I read I kept on thinking wow, I used to and still think like that too. Reading your post made me realize that I may have had anxiety since I was a child...

    Anyways, please don't forget that you're not alone in this mental battle. This is more common than we all know it and we all may feel lonely and misunderstood but we have to realize that this mental illness is a common problem.

    I'm 19 years old and I am getting the help I need. I admire your strength for being able to go through life this long with these feelings. I don't condone it because it is obviously torturing. Please get help. Go to your GP and tell him/her about these feelings and how long you've been suffering from it. If you don't want medicine for it, let them know. Tell them you want to wait it off and do it without the meds, to,see if you can control it yourself through other methods. But please see a doctor and inform them.

    Try exercising this will help your weight issues, anxiety issues and your diabetic issues. Deep breathing exercises to calm you down. Get a journal and write out everything you fear, your goals, those shoes you are dying to buy, what you ate for the days, basically write down your entire life. This helps me release my stress because then I don't have to think about them. Schedule a day with your friends or even your partner where you do activities together (going out to eat, if you have kids then a play date, swimming at a community pool, shopping, wine tasting, or even a walk,around the neighborhood, or city you live in, jogging, bicycle riding) do some type of activity where it can relieve stress, and release endorphins.

    But first thing first see your doctor. If you do have something that's wrong with you Its better to find put now before it gets worse.

    I too have health anxiety and for the pass month I've seems doctors maybe 6-7 times. I'm young and I want to take care of my problem now before it gets worse. But it's not too late for you.

    Please take care *hugs*

  • carol79698
    carol79698 kel1luv

    Posted

    Hi just to say your not alone I am exactly the same anything or anyone medical I am terrified. I have been like this since I was 12 when my dad died of cancer .sorry I have no words to make you feel better , but you are not alone.
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