Severe health anxiety, worried about my heart
Posted , 8 users are following.
Hello
I suffer with a bad health anxiety which is recently much much worse. I lost my Mum in December and I'm about to lose the home I grew up in and have lived in for 40 years. I'm struggling with grief, depression and severe anxiety. I keep feeling jolts in my chest which make me feel quite faint for a few seconds. I've convinced myself that I'm going to have a heart attack and die. I can't stop crying and my life is worthless. My son keeps telling me I'm just stressed and I think I'm getting on his nerves. I have no one else to talk to and I feel so alone. If anyone who is kind enough to read this could reach out I would be so grateful.
Thank you.
0 likes, 14 replies
sasical72 lisa215
Posted
Hello Lisa,
I'm truly sorry to hear about your Mum's passing, I understand how you feel. And on top of that you are also losing your home, I do feel for you and it really is normal that you are getting physical symptoms.
Grief, anxiety, depression...they all cause physical symptoms. I once read something that stuck with me: the body speaks what the mouth doesn't.
It's important that you have someone to share your grief with. If you don't have family or friends that you can speak to, then maybe a grief group, counsellor, priest...there is help out there. You can also come on here but I really feel that in person is much more helpful, an energy is created that helps pick you up.
Be as kind to yourself as you would be to someone you love who is in your situation. I'm sending you strength 💚
lisa215 sasical72
Posted
Thank you for your kind words, it means such a lot
jan34534 lisa215
Edited
i’m really sorry about the loss of your mother. I’ve been through that with both my parents and I know how terrible it feels. They were wonderful.
i’m not surprised you are getting these sensations. especially the fact that you have no one to talk to about it. That means it’s bottled up inside of you, and most likely expressing itself in these symptoms.
it’s really important to talk to somebody who will listen and who can help. I also advise you speak with a counselor. You can even do that virtually if that works for you. They can help you and give you resources. But I have had many of the same sensations that you have. I’ve had them numerous times, and all my testing came out normal. That’s when I knew it was all related to stress, anxiety, and depression. if you haven’t had a good physical check up recently, that’s something that you could think about.
There are also several great meditations on YouTube for anxiety, depression, etc. that are very comforting. I especially like.Joanne asmr. She has the most soothing and comforting voice ever and many people complement her. She has some for anxiety, some just to make you feel at ease and comforted, etc.
just try to take one day at a time. Do some slow long, deep, breathing exercises, because that will help to ease the sensations. Feel free to private message me anytime!
lisa215 jan34534
Edited
Thank you Jan. I had a hysterectomy in July so I had lots of tests including an ecg and blood tests. I will listen to the lady on youtube that you recommend. Thank you for your kindness
james71711 lisa215
Posted
Do go to the doctors just to be sure but I'd bet good money that your symptoms are anxiety/depression related and there is probably nothing wrong with your heart at all. When the pains come on, its hard to convince yourself of that but depression really does lie to you and mess with your head.
I'm sorry to hear of your loss, I think it's no surprise whatsoever that you are experiencing this and I'd say you are reacting in a very normal way. You just have to work through the grief and depression in your own time/way. Focus on that and the pains/health anxiety will fall away.
lisa215 james71711
Posted
Thank you James, I think you are probably right. Things just feel so hard at the moment. I appreciate you taking the time to reply
carol19439 lisa215
Edited
Hello Lisa,
I'm sorry you are going through a really horrible time. Anxiety is such a monster that once woken up seems to gain strength.
I always refer to my anxiety as a monster, it's the way I can handle it. My monster has gone now. I'm 72 and had suffered with chronic anxiety since I was 21. I had a life of medication, I paid for a private clinicl psychologist, had hypnosis, everything and nothing worked.
Please don't lose heart from reading about my ailments. I'm just putting you in the picture of how things were for me, so that maybe I can be the person who has so much knowledge about anxiety (I have no medical background) I can help you because I've probably been there done that.
I was a Samaritan, so I have great listening skills.
Losing your Mum must be traumatic, some people deal with it better than others. I was with my mum when she died, my sister was sailing round a Greek island. I felt terrible and my sister took it all in her stride. I'd love to get to know you and how you are coping with your 'monster' Were you anxious as a child?
Have you any idea what happened to start your anxiety? My sister was a psychological nurse, she taught me to lessen my anxiety to some extent.
Please don't let your life be full of 'monsters' there really is hope. I'm sure everyone here will agree with me. We just have to find out how to trigger your hope.
You will come out of this Lisa. If I can, you can.
{{ gentle hugs }}
Nikki
lisa215 carol19439
Posted
Hello Nikki. Thank you so much for your reply. I've had anxiety for as long as I can remember. As a child there was a lot of death on my family starting with my father when I was just 10. My Mum was always a very anxious and depressed person when we were growing up and I think that as a child I felt the world was a very dangerous place and everything was so fragile because that's how she saw things. I looked after my Mum for over 30 years and on the day that she passed I just didn't get to the hospital in time and the guilt of that haunts me everyday. The day before she passed we knew time was running out but I was just so tired that I needed to go home to sleep and I will regret not staying with her until the day I die. I'm so grateful to you and all the people who have replied on this forum, you truly are wonderful people xx
carol19439 lisa215
Posted
Lisa, I was much the same as you. My mother was always anxious about money. We were really poor and my dad would go to the pub and spend any spare money. I stopped eating when I was 5, I think it was in my tiny mind that it was too expensive for me to eat. This has stayed with me for all my life.
I'm also like you in another way. When my dad was dying I took care of him and my mother. The day he died I was there. He didn't know I was there, he was too ill to know. Years later I was there for my mother. I was at her bedside when she died, my sister and daughter were sailing around the Greek islands and couldn't get a flight home in time to be with her. They also felt guilty but I assured them that at the time mum died she didn't know that I was there as she was too busy dying. I hope this doesn't upset you but it's the truth.
My best friend missed the death of her husband who died just 10 minutes before my husband could drive her 45 miles to the hospital. She also felt guilt. The thing is Lisa, no one can beat themselves up whether they were at the death or not. Your mother was busy dying when you were getting the most important sleep that you needed.
Do you really think that your mum would have wanted you to be sleep deprived and hurting like you are? She was your mum and you loved each other. Imagine if she could talk to you now, what would she say? I know what she would say, she would say "It's ok Lisa. we all die and you have no need to feel guilty that you weren't able to be with me. I totally understand that you needed to rest. I didn't know you weren't there at that moment when I died.I just know that you were there for me while I was living and I'm so grateful for the love you had for me"
Lisa, stop beating yourself up, you loved your mum and dad, they knew that. That's what matters. You parents would feel terrible at the thought of you suffering so much about something that was outside of your control. Your mum wants you to be happy and well. That's the truth. Don't you owe it to them to be happy?
I'm thinking of something my friend did when she missed her husband's death. She said out loud "John I wanted to be with you but I couldn't but I'll live the rest of m life still loving you"
Lisa, it worked, all the guilt left my friend. The brain believes what it hears out loud.
Maybe you could try to say something like my friend did. I believe it works.
Now I'm going to tell you something morbidly funny. When my grandfather died it was snowing and icy, the undertaker took him to the chapel at rest but on the way there, the hearse slid on the ice and he was ejected out of the vehicle!! We didn't know this until we were told after his funeral. Again it was thick with snow at the cemetery. Years later grandma died and was buried with him. It was a lovely warm day. The grave diggers realised that in the snow my grandfather had been buried with his head facing south instead of north, or the wrong way anyway. So granny was buried the right way round, so they were in the 69 position. As her coffin was lowered, we could see shoulders of mourners going up and down until the first shreek of laughter was stifled. Then me and my family got the giggles. We bet it was the first time they had been in the 69 position and grandad would have been very happy.
We don't think granny would have approved.
Don't forget you mum's spirit lives on. Her spirit is at rest, it's now time that you should let go of the guilt so her spirit can rest more comfortably.
with love an hope
Nikki
{{ gentle hugs }}
lisa215 carol19439
Posted
Thank you so very much for your unbelievably kind words. I know Mum wouldn't want me to be hurting like this. Thank you for the uplifting story about your Grandmother and Grandfather, finding humour is a gift that you can treasure and the thought that they would have shared a chuckle with you all is priceless ❤️.
I hope my Mums beautiful spirit is at peace and that I can find some of my own.
Thank you again xxx
michael15889 lisa215
Posted
hi Lisa, i am so sorry for your loss. im sure your son means well. how are you now? Any improvements.
lisa215 michael15889
Posted
Hello Michael
I'm still really struggling if I'm honest. The chest feelings and feeling faint aren't as bad as they were but I'm just so anxious and down. I am finding myself doing things that I know aren't helping like listening to the music that was played at Mums funeral. It's absolutely breaking my heart. I know my son means we'll, he's always been such a supportive young man but I feel like I'm pushing him away. I don't want to be his burden so I'm isolating myself. Sometimes I think it would be better if I wasn't here. I'm in a constant state of panic most of the time and it's exhausting. My health anxiety is so bad at the moment, I've convinced myself that I have everything from anaemia to bowel cancer. I just can't go on like this. I genuinely appreciate your reply, it means a lot. Thank you x
staceyd89 lisa215
Posted
Anxiety
staceyd89
staceyd89
2 minutes ago
Hey saw your post in the group & thought I would message you hope that's ok. I'm literally going through the exact same thing as you right now as when I started getting anxiety bad about 6 weeks ago I got palpitations & then just over 2 weeks ago it resulted in me having a really bad panic attack which I ended up going to A&E over as I was so terrified. The hospital were amazing checking me over everything was fine & I've just had a 24 hour ECG done which I'm waiting on the results of. My GP has prescribed me a sertraline tablet to take in the morning which is an anti depressant & a 40mg propranolol to take an hour before I go to bed in the evening to calm me down so I can sleep. I have also been seeing a hypnotherapist which has helped too & they've given me links to some relaxation recordings they've created. If you want me to send you them to try I can do no problems. I've also just ordered some anxiety books as well to try which I have the downloadable version I can send you as well. Let me know & I'm here to talk if you want. I'm going through this at the age of 33 by the way
melanie80537 lisa215
Posted
Lisa, i have been like this for 5 years now !! not been out of the house or garden either except for necessary things like covid jabs, opticians etc. Even then - i have to take valium to go to such places. i am pretty confident that it all started when i began into the menopause.
i know exactly what you are experiencing hun, you are my carbon copy !! i have kept quiet all this time, but over the last few months the palpatations became horrific, and feelings of passing out. i saw a cardiologist and was given the all clear - but he did say that i should now take beta blockers for the anxiety and panic attacks. only down side is they can cause psorisis to get much worse so i will just have to take them and hope for the best, as my psorisis is pretty angry right now !!
you can chat with me anytime you want hun - i am here for you. I am 55 year old lady from suffolk, england.