Severly depressed and bad thoughts how to stop them

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ive been severly depressed and haveing bad thoughts for 3 weeks now. they are only intensifying as days go by. i cant stop thinking about dieing. My wife and 2 kids are everything to me but my wife left me and took everything and is holding the kids against me. im so hurt i cant sleep i dont eat unless i force myself. i attempted 2 times and failed. im lost dont understant what is wrong with me. i dont want to die but im actually losing reasons to live. i made my mistakes in the past. i did drugs. i couldnt get help so had to get off them myself. Which was the hardest thing i did other then making it this long now. i did it to be with my family and do what a loving father and husband suppose to do. well i did it but after i got off the drugs and thought we were becoming a family again the wife told me she was only using me and never wanted me back and it was revenge. i flipped and know i dont understand what or why i cant control my thoughts or my depression. i just started blacking out and not remembering were i was or what i was doing other than how i was feeling. what can i do cause i cant handle this kind of pain. it already killed me inside and i dont want my outside to live either. i dont know what to do anymore. i dont want to live and dont know what to do. but wont sit in a hospital.

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5 Replies

  • Posted

    Sorry you feel this way, but please don't be offended you need to pull yourself together and prove to your family that you are worth something. Kick the drugs if you are still using, clean yourself up get a job if you don't have one and make your life worth something. I expect your wife can't cope with the way you are and just wants a clean break, people say things that they don't mean to be spiteful which is what she may have done. Imagine if in 6 months time you are clean, smart, working hard and your wife sees you maybe with another partner, but you need to show her what she is missing not give her the ammunition you are to treat you badly. I understand this is hard and easy for me to say but you don't want your children thinking bad of you. Take care

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  • Posted

    get to a a doctor dont wait dDO IT NOW i know how you feel ive been there im now on meds for m depression and anxiety it took a while but i feel like my all slf again dont give up GOD PUT YOU ON THIS EARTH FOR A REASON you dont believe this now but you will in the future if get help please dont do anything foolish you have to kids whom you love dearly PLEASE GET TO SEE A PSYC DOCTOR GOD BLESS YOUR IN MY PRAYERS BUCKMINSTER

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    • Posted

      Unfortunately they aint helping me im far more gone. it fully broke me ive been talking everyday and im getting worse. ive talked to my theripist and psychologist. im on my own it feels like. i went through this with my drug addiction but had reason. this time its alittle different. i will try to keep fighting but at this point im losing hope. if you been through this you know its very hard to stay afloat.

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  • Posted

    i'm sooo sorry you feel this way, but dont let her attitude get to you. You are important. i would find a pastor and go talk to someones. it will help

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  • Posted

    GO TO WORK THATS WHAT I DID KEEP YOUR SELF BUSY EVEN IF YOU WORK 2 JOBS YOU WONT HAVE TIME TO THINK OF THOSE HORRIBLE THOUGHTS.PLEASE BELIEVE ME THIS WAS NOT THE FIRST TIME FOR ME DONT YOU DO ANYTHING YOUR A FATHER THINK OF HOW YOUR CHILDREN WILL FEEL THEY LABEL CHILDREN AND MAKE FUN. PLEASE PLEASE BELIEVE ME I WILL PRAY FOR YOU BLESS YOU BUCKMINSTER

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