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ive been severly depressed and haveing bad thoughts for 3 weeks now. they are only intensifying as days go by. i cant stop thinking about dieing. My wife and 2 kids are everything to me but my wife left me and took everything and is holding the kids against me. im so hurt i cant sleep i dont eat unless i force myself. i attempted 2 times and failed. im lost dont understant what is wrong with me. i dont want to die but im actually losing reasons to live. i made my mistakes in the past. i did drugs. i couldnt get help so had to get off them myself. Which was the hardest thing i did other then making it this long now. i did it to be with my family and do what a loving father and husband suppose to do. well i did it but after i got off the drugs and thought we were becoming a family again the wife told me she was only using me and never wanted me back and it was revenge. i flipped and know i dont understand what or why i cant control my thoughts or my depression. i just started blacking out and not remembering were i was or what i was doing other than how i was feeling. what can i do cause i cant handle this kind of pain. it already killed me inside and i dont want my outside to live either. i dont know what to do anymore. i dont want to live and dont know what to do. but wont sit in a hospital.
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