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Sex after surgery... Part 2!

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Resting123
Resting123

Hey all,

Just an update from my last post about painful sex!

Now a little over 8 weeks post op and all is good smile in fact... More than good! It's still early days, a little sore and are using a mountain of lube but the difference is amazing.

I've literally gone from thinking maybe I shouldn't have had the op to being so pleased I have. I know everyone has different worries and to some it may be a minor worry but I think the massive hurdle for me was the anxiety and worry over the sex issue after surgery. Now that's getting normal (and improved!) a lot of the worry post op about has/ hasn't it worked has gone.

In general, I still feel uncomfortable if I've over done things but I'm almost back to normal daily mum things. My post op isn't until beginning of March (I had surgery end of nov) but I think it's all healed/ healing.

Just wanted to say thank you to all of you who have commented, given advice and support over the last few weeks, I don't know how I would've coped if I hadn't found this forum :-)

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  • Jan999
    Jan999 Resting123

    Posted

    Resting I'm very pleased for you and yes you've overcome a huge hurdle but I know you will have given other ladies a lot of hope. Please stay in touch because you're advice and support will help a lot of other ladies 😀
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  • debra25218
    debra25218 Resting123

    Posted

    Hi nice to hear some good news...😁 I had surgery 22nd Dec.i get the uncomfortable feeling..and feeling tired sometimes..I just don't no if I'm ready for work yet. I'm scared if I go bk it will be to soon x
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    • Jan999
      Jan999 debra25218

      Posted

      You are going back to work too early debra. Listen to your body, you are tired so what does that tell you? Please wait a bit longer.
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    • debra25218
      debra25218 Jan999

      Posted

      Thank you but I'm getting the impression.they think I'm ok..to back I might be wrong..it's sounds silly but I would rather be checked before I go back anyway..if that is poss.but hospital app isn't until. the 19th Feb x
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    • Jan999
      Jan999 debra25218

      Posted

      I think you need to have your post op check before you go back to work. Your employers aren't doctors.
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  • bresychen
    bresychen Resting123

    Posted

    Oh thank you so much for posting that. I'm terrified about it, and putting it off. This gives me much confidence. 😊
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    • Resting123
      Resting123 bresychen

      Posted

      Hi all,

      Debra, I agree with matron, if there is anyway you can avoid going back so soon, I would. I'm very lucky in that I'm a full time mum but 4 weeks ago I was still taking lots of sitting down rest and still really tired. Plus, if you're anything like me, you'll still be anxious about it all as its still early.

      Bresychen, believe me, I was tearful if it was mentioned but last night I just thought right, it's now or never lol. Once I'd mentioned it to hubby, there was no getting out of it either lol. I found good old ky (which is about £3 in tesco) was fine and very slow and one stage at a time if that makes sense and then I'd think ok, that wasn't bad, I'll carry on lol.

      I'm so pleased I did though as this morning it seems like a huge weight has been lifted and I have a very happy husband smile just go for it and take it one stage at a time. It was a little sore at the opening but certainly not painful at anytime.

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    • debra25218
      debra25218 Resting123

      Posted

      Hi I'm goin to see how I feel this week..I'm going into work on Monday to have lunch with my old boss..I work in a cafe in a company..been there 13 years but got took over by a new company Jan 6th x
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    • debra25218
      debra25218

      Posted

      To be honest I haven't been pressured at all..the good thing is I've taken my contract with me to my new company.,which is good because I don't think they pay sick pay x
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  • Bunky
    Bunky Resting123

    Posted

    Resting thank you for posting. Reading your post reassures me that things will hopefully improve !!

    I am 6 weeks post op and the thought of sex if I'm honest terrifies me. I for the first time this week had a bit of a check and feel myself. Things don't feel normal at all - feels like I have a little lump at the opening ! Can't understand what that would be !!! Maybe I still have some swelling I don't know ! Go back to see the consultant in a couple of weeks so hoping that will be the moment when he says everything is good and I start to get back to normal whatever that might be !! Hehe !

    Glad though you are doing so well. It is always good to hear and be reminded that there is a reason we all had this op xx

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    • Resting123
      Resting123 Bunky

      Posted

      Hi bunky,

      I have 'the lump' too. I went to see my gp about it a few days ago and she said mine was a bit of scar tissue and nothing to worry about. I'd put off seeing my GP but so pleased I did as she had a look and said everything was healing and no it wasn't too tight etc which really put my mind at rest. Like you, I'd had a look and feel too but as it was so awful before my op through child birth, I really had no idea what it should look like anyway!

      The sex.. This was second attempt and to be honest, it was my husband who took the lead and said don't be so silly etc but not in a pressurising way! which is what I needed as it did terrify me... To the point that when I saw the GP I actually said please don't put anything up there lol! She said something that made a lot of sense in that it is going to feel different because it is different, it's been tweaked.

      I think the biggest fear for me was a kind of lack of control about what was going to happen when it was up there!!!! But it was fine and I'm so pleased it's done. And it feels fine today. I feel like I'm 16 again 😂😂

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    • Bunky
      Bunky Resting123

      Posted

      Oh so reassuring to hear others have the same 'lump'. Did your GP say if it would ever go or is that 'normal' now !? It is a very good point that I have had the prolapse for more years than I would care to say so I prob don't really know what it's supposed to actually be like down there !!!

      It effects you on so many levels this operation that it would be impossible for anyone to mentally prepare you beforehand.

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    • Bunky
      Bunky debra25218

      Posted

      Hi Debra ! I was a childminding assistant and had to resign from my position before I had the operation as she couldn't temporarily fill the position for that length of time. All I can say is that I am 6 weeks post op and if i still had the job I wouldn't be doing to back to work yet. I think I mentioned in a previous post that my consultant who is very mean about time off work even stated that for certain jobs he would recommend being signed off for the full 12 weeks. X
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