Sex post op rectocele

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Hi I am 7 weeks post op from rectocele repair. I have seen my consultant and he says all good and I can have sex but gently, not that he needed to say that!

Anyway, this morning we got carried away in the moment and attempted penetration. But, it wasn't happening as I just felt a burning at the entrance and stopped play. We were quite lubed up so that wasn't an issue.

Any advice would be appreciated as I am now worried that we are going to have huge problems in the future.

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19 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Maureen

        Just wondering if you tried coconut oil as the lubricant. It is very slippery and very healthy at the same time. The other lubricants that are store bought dry up very quickly. I can still have sex with my grade 3 prolapse bladder and I know when you lie down the prolapse goes back up. You are going to laugh but sometimed I put my legs both up into the air and do the bicycle exercise with my legs to get everything to go back faster to where it belongs. I thin you should try the organic coconut oil and have your man apply some to himself as well. You should have no problem at all trying it this way so there is no burning at the entrance. Good luck with this and blessings to you Maureen.

                                                                     Lynn

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    • Posted

      Hello, all.

      I've just been researching coconut oil as a personal lubricant.  Some say that water-based products are better because coconut oil can degrade some types of condoms, is not easily washed off, and can stain clothes and sheets. One site had a photo (tho I could not see it clearly) that showed mold in the bottom of a coconut oil jar. Also, since oil is more difficult to wash off, if you tend to vaginal infections it may be better to use a water-based lubricant.  However, since it is supposed to have anti-microbial qualities it doesn't seem like that should be an issue and in fact I just read of many who's infections or UTIs lessened with cononut oil....  Can't find any actual medical research....

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  • Posted

    Thank you Maureen for sharing.

    I am still weeks away from reintroducing that part of life. The idea is a little daunting. I will be listening to the help you are given and store that into the memory bank.

    Be careful and take care of that "new" body.

    xx

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  • Posted

    Hi Maureen , wow I'm impressed that you gave sex ago at 7 weeks. As per the instructions of my company doctor my husband and I tried it at 13 weeks post A & P repair (2 weeks ago) and I found it rather painful and uncomfortable . The doctor said it needs to be used in order to exercise it to stretch the scar tissue however it seems very tight and I still have a couple of undesolved stitches which didn't help the moment at all . On a return visit to the company doctor he suggested he writes to my GP and requests I'm supplier with some virginal dilators , so I instructed him todo so . The dilators come in various sizes and you slowly progress through the sizes by starting with the smallest sizes inserting it every day for 10 minutes ( in the laying down position) and gradually working your way through the sizes . This will be uncomfortable but if painfully you have increased the size to early and of course lots of lubrication should be used . So I am now waiting for this prescription to be approved and and the next phase of my recovery.  : ) 
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    • Posted

      Helen, did you ever get your dilator set?  How is it going?  When I last saw the surgeon he told me to get a vibrator for the stretching!  I was so embarrassed.  I think I'll tell him about dilator sets...

      I would like to start a new discussion speciffically about rectocele repair with mesh with the resulting pain and being "too tight".  Watch for it.

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    • Posted

      Hi Raesue , sorry for my delay in replying I have had a bit of a nightmare trying to get my GP to read and acknowledge my letter from my company doctor 3 weeks to be precise  . I finally got a phone call last Friday from a duty GP at my surgery . He agreed that dilators was a good idea and that he would write to the hospital and refer me for a consultation to discuss being given the dilators . He suggested it would be quicker to buy them on line to which I said I would prefer NHS approved as you just don't know what you are buying on line , he then agreed ! So now I have to wait ..... Over the course of this very frustrating wait my husband and I have had another go at sex and I am pleased to say that most of my stitches have now dissolved which was more comfortable for both of us . However it was still uncomfortable , not at the point of penetrations but actually inside. We used a lot of lubrication and thankfully I felt no discomfort afterwards or the days that followed . I spoke to my company doctor again this week who said that from month 5 to 9 post op the scar tissue is starting to knit which means that any stretching must be done in this time period and if penatration is possible full sex would be the course of action to stretch the vigina . So in other words don't wait for the dilators just carry on having sex And it should get easier . I have decided to let the process of having a referral take place as I may have a few months to wait , if and when the time comes for the appointment and I am more comfortable I will cancel the appointment . I must say I was a bit shocked to hear that the scar tissue after 9 months post op has fully knitted and can no longer be stretch outside of surgery . So I now will have to have regular ' stretching sessions ' with my husband to over come this next stage of my recovery who I'm sure will be very willing to support . I really wish that us Ladies are given all the information we need post op it would have saved me a lot of time and anguish . I am surprised your GP suggested a vibrator as they are usually over sized unless you can find smaller ones . If your initial penatration is painfully/uncomfortable I would suggest you go for the dilators . Good luck and keep in touch x
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    • Posted

      That's ok Helen.  I know that was frustrating for you especially when you were asking for something simple.

      I know my hubby would be pleased to offer his assistance at stretching but he loses the mood when I'm in pain or discomfort, which I can't hide. So I ordered a dilator. I'm not promoting the company or anything but the product seems right.  I'm using it every other night (seems weird) but am seeing progress - have moved up to a larger size.  We're celebrating our anniversary soon and I want the celebartion to include some "extra-curricular" activity!

      Was interesting to hear about the 5-9 mo post-op stretching as my surgeon didn't mention that.  Makes sense.  At 8 months I hope I'm catching it in time!

      Good luck with your progress!

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  • Posted

    Hi Maureen31239....

    I think you did the right thing by stopping if you felt uncomfortable. I had Rectocele surgery August 2014 and post op 8 weeks doctor said the same to me. I have to tell you I didnt stop and I felt when he penetrated how the incision opened up inside. I started screaming cause the first thiught was bleeding. Fortunately I didn't. I had to start over with uro gyn. My advice is wait as long as you can and until you are ready. As you know your body will tell you when. Congrats on your procedure and good luck in the future ahead. Start slow with any activity you do and don't strain or do any heavy lifting.

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  • Posted

    Hi Maureen31239

    I am asking the same questions about sex post op. I felt nothing. Lubed up really good. Had no pain and very little discomfort for first time penetration. . I faked orgasms. I am scared to death that I am too wide or that he is not happy with my new and improved vagina. He said it is better than before. But I did not feel him inside at all. HELP someone if you can share info..I loved intercourse with him prior to surgery now it was horrible not to feel any sensation.

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    • Posted

      Dear gigi66,

      I never, ever thought I'd be talking about something so personal, but we are anonymous, right?   Sex is still painful, but the one time we actually made it to orgasm, I got so frustrated that had to have clitoral stimulation since I didn't have much feeling either.  It's awkward.  I'm hoping after a while the feeling will come back.  I, too, used to enjoy intercourse (although I avoided it a lot because of the bowel problem) and now I feel like something is missing.

      My husband is very considerate and if he perceives that I'm in pain, he will quit.  There are other ways... just not as satisfying I guess.

      Anyone else out there have this "de-sensitisation" problem? 

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    • Posted

      Hi, Raesue I have Just at last replied to your previous question about the dilators please read if you can . I always enjoyed sex with my husband but these days I now find all I think about how it's going to hurt and when will it ever be the same as before . During our last go we actually found a position that was more comfortable for us both I was so stressed out about whether it was going to hurt I really didn't enjoy it so I just tried to relax a bit more and try to stop being so tense it did work a bit but I am going to keep trying . Good luck x
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    • Posted

      Hi Raesue & Gigi

      I have managed full penetration now with the help of coconut oil.

      I still had a slight burning on entry but seemed ok. Normally I like to grip with my vaginal muscles but was too scared! I didn't have much sensation other than after a few strides I was feeling sore.

      My partner will stop if he thinks he is hurting me but fortunately he needed a wee so stopped, hmm well I hope that was the reason....... as I am also worrying about tightness especially after my consultant told me to go carefully as things are a different shape!

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    • Posted

      Good luck, Helen!  We're rooting for you!

      Yes, I tense, too, thinking about it hurting which doesn't help.

      Can you in some delicate way share what position you found comfortable?  I don't need to be nosy - just needing help in that area...

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    • Posted

      There's been so much talk about coconut oil...  Maybe that's the way to go.  I've just been wondering, since it's a food product and all, should it be pasturized or something before you put it in your body?

      Maureen, you must have a considerate man, too.  Some of us are blessed.

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