Sex problems

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I had a hysterectomy and posterior and anterior vaginal repairs just over a year ago. We have tried to have intercourse twice over the year but both times we had to stop as it was so painful for me. It feels like there is not enough room for my husbands penis inside. I don't know if I will ever be able to have sex again! Has anyone else had this problem?

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  • Posted

    I only had a posterior repair and it took a long time to get back to having sex without it being painful but we got there in the end. Loads of lube and patience is needed ,good luck
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    • Posted

      Like you I did wonder if we'd ever be able to have sex again and I got to the stage where I'd avoid it if I could. Hubby was so understanding and patient with me though and I felt awful not being able to be intimate with him but we persevered,going very slow and steady and gradually things improved. Took nearly 20 months after my op before we were back to almost normal but still have to go easy at the very start. I have a cystocele that I had at the same time as the rectocle but they only did the one repair. Cystocele now much worse but am putting off having that repaired because I'd hate to have to go through the same thing again.As Robyn said it  may be worth trying the dilators for a while to see if that helps x

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    • Posted

      Yes I did and yes it did,they never told me that could happen but it has got better.It doesn't happen to everyone,think I was just unlucky,my perineum was very short after being cut fron front to back with my first child who was a forceps delivery. Try not to be concerned,we are all different and it doesn't happen to most people. Didn't mean to alarm anyone x

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  • Posted

    Oh dear. You poor girl. All I know is that my Urogynae decided against doing posterior repair at same time as my anterior a year ago, as in his words I "might end up too tight"! And I wasn't having hysterectomy too like you've had. Was your cervix retained? You need even a GP to do a speculum examination and see if it looks like you now being too small to have full penetration. I know it has been recommended on here before to get various sized dildos and start with small one to begin stretching things down there, & work your way up to ones a bit bigger. It may be that you are just very tense as you are frightened of it going to hurt?

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    • Posted

      Thank you Robyn. I will try and insert a vibrator to stretch the area. I had my womb, my ovaries, my cervix all removed as well as posterior and anterior repairs.
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  • Posted

    I think this is why many surgeons will not do anterior & posterior repairs at the same time. Mine wouldn't as he said it could make me too tight (although some women get on ok) so I just had the hysterectomy & anterior repair. I still need the posterior repair but am doing all I can to put it off until I feel mentally ready to go through with it.

    Hopefully they didn't take too much skin. Ask your GP to refer you back to your surgeon. They will be able to check you out. Vagifem might help.

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  • Posted

    Have you been prescribed oestrogen/estrogen cream? It's a kind of HRT cream which puts some elasticity back into your tissues. You might be able to get some from your GP or he will refer you back to the gynae. Meanwhile, I found lube helped me as I had my first surgery before these creams were available. Hope it works out for you soon. rolleyes

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  • Posted

    I too had "the works" done 6 weeks ago. Rectocele and cystocele repair along with total hysterectomy. We were told we could have relations anytime after 4 to 6 weeks. Tried today and was unsuccessful due to pain. Have not had any bleeding or spotting since about day 4 or 5 but was bleeding afterwards today, really with no penetration. Kind of freaked me out and really upset husband. No idea when should try again?

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    • Posted

      Oh bless you. I do feel for you. I had my op in April and sex is still painful. I'm 61 so don't know whether that has something to do with it.

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    • Posted

      Well if age does have something to do with it, I am not far behind you. I am 59. Maybe age does have something to do with it?
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