1. Community
  2. Mental health
  3. Depression

Should have been more selfish with myself,,,my love...

Posted , 5 users are following.

nikki44830
nikki44830

I've been so depressed since i found out that I could have genital herpes... I'm a 25yr old single mother of two boys... I'm so depressed cause my chances of one-day finding the love of my life and future father figure for my boys are now slim to none now. It's not fair because I'm such a nice person. I had a jacked up childhood, didn't really have a childhood and now,I may not get to enjoy my twenties... What man is gonna wanna settle down with someone like me??? Its just not fair!!! Things is always happening to me!!! I love my babies,,, I just don't know how long I can live like this...

1 like, 6 replies

6 Replies

  • jayne10080
    jayne10080 nikki44830

    Posted

    Goodness me give yourself a break come on now life is,nt fair we all know that.  But you have two beautiful boys to love and for them to love you back.  You don,t need a man to complete your happiness....ok so one day you do find Mr Right ,then thats a bonus..Don,t sit about wasting precious time with your children screaming why me? life,s not fair..It sounds harsh but life does,nt owe us anything we make the most out of everyday that we can see our childrens smile..your children are your greatest achievement in life and nothing will top that...Get out there and enjoy your life jx
    • nikki44830
      nikki44830 jayne10080

      Posted

      You must didn't see the part where I said I might have genital herpes??? Whose gonna want me with that??? I know I don't need a man but I want one... I got a lot off love to give and I want to share it with someone... I was hoping that one-day I could find a man for my children cause I didn't grow up with a man in my household... I want different and better for my children...
  • perry29552
    perry29552 nikki44830

    Posted

    You will find a man that will love you for you don't let that get you down I'm your age I'm pretty sure you will find a good man keep your head up you'll be fine
  • shabs40533
    shabs40533 nikki44830

    Posted

    I know what you mean when you say "it's not fair becos I am a nice person". Well I also feel the same.  Somehow the nice people always seem to suffer in life while all the bad people seem to have good lives.  Life is just not fair !!! 
  • nikki44830
    nikki44830

    Posted

    I'm so tired of going thru stuff tho... I wanna have a period where I look up and say, "dang,God has really been looking out for me" or "I got some good luck." I think of my babies all the time and my biggest concern for them not turning out right because thru didn't have a man in their lives... I know I don't need a man but I want one for me and my boys. I want them to see what a real man is,how he loves . I want them to see what a healthy relationship looks like... In sorry but I just don't see any man wanting me especially if he don't have what I have...
    • Bird82
      Bird82 nikki44830

      Posted

      Hi Nikki,

      I know exactly how you're feeling. I'm a single mum of two boys also. Their dad walked out on us when my youngest was 4 months old and my eldest was 2. Both my boys have ASD which is really challenging for me. I've got a whole load of other things to deal with too which leaves me pretty much exhausted and run down most of the time. Suffer with depression, anxiety, low self esteem etc etc. I can completely empathise with you as I worry about the same stuff too. Don't get me wrong, I can and do cope with everything myself, I'm strong and am doing a good job raising my boys, but it will never be good enough, I know that. There's things kids need male role models for and it keeps me awake at night worrying that I am not providing this for them. I'm 33 so time is not on my side! All guys my age are married already. So there's one positive thing you can hold on to, at 25 you are still young and have much more time to meet a guy who will love you and your boys. I'm sure this will happen for you. I guess the trick is to stop worrying about it and let whatever is gonna happen, happen. Much, much easier said than done though I know! For now just keep your head up, be proud of yourself and your boys. They will have the utmost respect for their mother as they grow older as I know mine will too.

      As for the herpes thing, you said you might have it?? So you don't know yet? I'm no expert but in my general knowledge I know that herpes is a very common virus that lots of people carry without even knowing. If you do have it, its really not the end of the world but obviously is unpleasant. If you read up about it you may be able to reassure yourself that it's not too bad. Well, as far as STI's go. Just wait and see what happens there before you get yourself too worked up. Also, when you go to get your results make sure you speak in depth to the doctor / nurse about it which I'm sure you will do anyway.

      Take care Nikki.

Back to top

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.