Should i be this scared of taking zoloft for PD and angoraphobia?

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By Lonelygirl28 | 18 hours

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Hi, I am 28 and I came across this forum and I just want to write to see if I'm the only one feeling this way. I know it's dumb but here it goes.. because I feel like I'm at my wits end. I've had ptsd since I was 16 but always lived a so so life.. no panic attacks, just mild anxiety which would be fixed by not going to what I though where dangerous places.. like bars in the ghetto, avoiding going out at night since things like that are triggers for me. Anyways.. my ptsd worsened as I noticed when I drop my kids who are 8&9 off to their dads house at night I would tell them "OK were gonna run to the door OK?" And if I took them to the park I would avoid taking them to where other kids where playing because of fear of altercations.. which I know it's not a good thing because the need to interact with other kids. But I never have a problem taking them to museums, movies, or fairs.. anyways two months ago my doctor prescribed me adipex, better known as phentermine for weight loss, keep in mind.. my living situation is really hard, I am homeless have no job and live in my car so I'm always alone. So,I took half of the adipex pill and after 15 minutes my heart started pounding and before I knew it I was on the phone with the cops begging for help.. I thought I was going to die, I was shaking uncontrollably trying to make myself throw up and I pulled up to a casino parking structure and some lady got the security who came outside and tried to calm me down but I was sure that was it for me.. while still on the phone with the dispatcher the EMT arrived and took me to the hospital.. I could not stand still in the end bed.. I walked up and down the hallway asking people if they where doctors but they all ignored me.. only one resident nurse felt my pain and talked to me and I manage to calm down a bit, but I would all of a sudden feel in distress all over again.. the doctor came in and told me he would give me a Valium to calm me down.. another nurse came in and was really rude and said.."just take the meds I don't have time for this" so I put the pill in my mouth..pretended to swallow and she left. Anyways I only took half the Valium which was 1mg. And it calmed me down for about an hour or so.. then I start feeling distress again and the doctor says I'm physically fine..and I can go to the psychiatric ward if I want..so I've never been to one, but I agreed because I knew I needed help..well the psychiatrist saw me for 3 minutes, gave me a Zoloft prescription and then told me I was not crazy enough to be there and released me.. I had no choice but to leave.. and I went straight into a better hospital but they told me I had an anxiety disorder and gave me a prescription for ativan 0.5. Which I only took half of a pill and completely knocked me out, so I refuse to take it. I slept at the hospital that night and the next day I went to feel up my prescription to a pharmacy literally 3 minutes away from the hospital and I started to feel anxious but I managed to go in the store and had 3 panic attacks while waiting for my meds.. then I got them after I ate if I began to feel full..like I couldn't breathe. Fast forward to 3 weeks later I went to a partial hospitalization program with helped a little while it lasted for 2 weeks. I've been to everywhere I can to try and get help but everyone tells me I don't need it and that I should just take the Zoloft. Now I can't leave my comfort zone which is literally a mile around the hospital and now I'm starting to get panic attacks in my comfort zone, which is making me feel more and more helpless, hopeless, and depressed. The worst of it all is that I have not seen my babies in 2 months because of this. And I missed one of their birthdays, and my others sons B-Day is in 2 weeks..which I will probably miss too. I really want to take the Zoloft but I don't trust myself being alone while on it. Like I'm scared of losing control of my thoughts and do something stupid. I also have vertigo which is dizziness because of my left inner ear and I'm scared of taking medicine for it as well. I'm so lost! I would like to get over this without any meds, but I'm realising it can't be done. I want to be in a psychiatric ward for like 3 weeks until the side effect period passes.. I know I sound crazy but I'm desperate

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  • Posted

    You don't sound crazy at all.

    I thought my medication was making me ill. I'm at a point now where the pharmacist takes the side affect leaflet out of my tablet boxs because I always read them and then start getting symptoms of the side affects which are caused by my anxieties.

    I'm so sorry to hear of your story and I understand it must be hard. Even more so that no one seems to want to listen to you. Have you tried going to your doctor, as if your going for an appointment. And taking the Zoloft while your there so they can see what happens and the change in your actions and moods? I literally had to have all of this happen in front of my psychologist and call 3 ambulences over a period of time because of my panic of the meds.

    Then I was sent for CBT therapy that retrains your brain. Maybe this might help you? Your reaction could be side affects but the hysteria sounds anxiety induced for sure. So maybe some cbt to retrain your brain and body to not react this way might help if it is possible for you. I wish you good luck and please message if you need to. I'm sorry I cannot offer further Advice.

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    • Posted

      Hi Kellie; Thank you for caring. I went to see another psychiatrist two days ago and gave me a prescription for Zoloft 25mg, I'm actually still here in their parking lot. It's like a psychiatric emergencies clinic. I'm still too scared of taking even half of 25mg. I honestly don't know what to do, I'll be meeting with a clinician in about 5 minutes; I might ask then to put me in a residential program or if I have no other option. At a psych ward. I can't go on like this. Well see, since they won't really do anything unless I say I'm suicidal. Which I'm not. I'll post later.

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    • Posted

      You can fight and beat anxiety I am a first hand witness to it, ive been dealing with anxiety since i was about 16 years old I am now going on 25 next month and my anxiety and panic attacks began somewhat like yours, I was smoking with a few buddies of mine and my heart started pounding out of my chest i began having thoughts that at 16 my life would end i went to the ER. The doctor tells me im fine but how could I be fine when all I could feel was my chest at 110 bpm my palms sweaty, my head hurting me tossing an turning on the bed, he gave me zoloft and it wouldnt help me because in my mind the pills made me worse so every other day I would make appointments to see different specialist it didnt work nothing worked I Seemed lost and thought It would never go away, Until one day I was sitting at home no job dealing with anxiety everyday going to sleep by day an up at night, My aunt and my mother decided to take me to a mental institute I went and was there for 2 weeks an ill tell you something it helped me realize it was a place I never wanted to go to ever again so now a days when I get anxious I just remind myself that people put there have far worst things then anxiety even though anxiety is a terrible thing. Try reading articles and breathing deeply in an out an dont try to force yourself to sleep get out of bed and read and breathe youll get through this. I do still suffer from anxiety sometimes but never as bad as it once was where it was basically a black hole sucking my life
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    • Posted

      Hi Kelvin. I feel like that too, I know I'm not crazy. I know that psych wards are for really mentally ill people, I'm just so desperate for help and feel so helpless that I feel it's the only way to get help. I've trued everything..every clinic, 4 Psychiatrists. All of them tell me to take the Zoloft. I don't know what to do anymore, I can't even drive away from a medical facility, I feel like I always have to have fast access to some sort of medical establishment in case I have a bad panic attack or something. This impairs my ability to drive to where I want or even do anything I want. It's kept me from seeing my kids, I don't know what to do because like I said. I live in my car and have nobody.

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