Should I Ignore the doctor??

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I went back to see my doctor after 3weeks on 10mg Citalopram (I couldn't get in any earlier) I am surprised and I must admit a bit disappointed he has prescribed me another 3weeks on the same dose; I read that everyone else has increased to 20mg by week two.

I am confused why he would do that the only thing I can think is he doesn’t believe I am serious, I am not new to depression but I am new to expressing my feelings I hate it, especially to men in authority that I respect, I feel such shame.

Nobody knows I am taking them, that’s how well I can hide my feelings and the side effects- I crumble in private but this obviously doesn’t get me the help I need.

So I have come away feeling lost, I am tempted to double up my dose myself- would it do any harm? I think I need more

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4 Replies

  • Posted

    Hello Jinx,

    Sorry to hear your having a bad time. I also went back to my Dr this week, as things are not improving very fast!!!

    I'm on week 7 of 20mg cit. Tried to go back to work last week, but ended up crying in a return to work interview! not great, and yes I understand the feeling of shame, the meeting was with a manager (male) who I do respect, felt sorry for him really, faced with a blubbering female! :oops:

    Anyway, back to the Cit, my Dr also said not to increase my meds (I know from reading posts on here, many go up to 40mg) He listened to me and asked questions, his conclusion was, I am feeling better, am still getting some side effects, and he did not want these to increase. I was quite relieved at his decision. He also recomended a phased return to work.

    Have a meeting with work next week! I shall just have to wait to see what happens :?

    As for the hiding your feelings, I did that for way too long, but now have the difficult problem of having lost all my confidence now my secret is out! Having said that, help is being offered, I've just got to get brave enough to accept it.

    I wish you well and hope things improve for you, also, seek help, maybe via your GPs surgery, perhaps some counselling, where you can let out your feelings to a stranger and discuss a way forward?

    all the best M x

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  • Posted

    Thank you for your advice smile ,

    I would love to release what I hold inside but I can’t, I am scared of the consequences- I had a brush with the mental health service when I was 16 and discharged myself and they quoted the mental health act at me and told me to they can admit me if I don’t sort myself out!

    That’s why it took me 11years to ask for help (Cit) I don’t trust the service, I felt they made me worst- I suppose you could add paranoia to my list too!

    Actually just typing this anonymously has help me a little bit, thanks for replying I wish you luck for next week at work.

    I totally understand the loss of confidence, I have spent years sculpting a mask to hide behind then it breaks, and I am worried people won’t like or except the other side of me- I certainly don’t!

    I’ll try and trust in my doctors judgments and Citalopram even if it is a tiny dose, I’ve stepped up my exercise Dr says releases happiness chemicals- I’d like some of that!

    Take care Jinx

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  • Posted

    Hey, your older now, as is the NHS and its sevices.....

    Maybe you should try again?.... as far as I am aware, they do now try to treat peeps at home, unless they feel a person is a danger to themself!...

    I don't know your situation, but am well aware of some of the heavy handed views of some medical practicioners.

    You do need to let out some of whats inside, and moving on, maybe see a counceller. Your older now, maybe less impulsive?

    Just a thought.............

    Don't let your fear stop you from seeking help and maybe getting well

    Wish you well M x

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  • Posted

    Hello Jinx,

    Having read your experience, like other's on here you seem to be on a similar path to myself.

    I have only recently started taking Cit, I started on 20mg and 4 weeks in i'm still on 20mg. No-one I know family, friends or work etc know I am taking the Cit and the majority of people dont even know i suffer with Anxiety/Depression, I have over the years built up a fantastic fool proof mask. I apply before I leave the house, take it off for a rest when I get in. It's a rather lonely world out there... Especially with such an illness. I would often feel stupid, weak and childish whilst explaining my condition, but it does help to be on here and be able to see that people are in the same position and people do care.

    I would recommend you stick to the 10mg until you see your doctor, I had quite bad side effects with 20mg and you may too so it is always best to seek your doctors advice.

    Hope you start to feel better soon.

    M

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