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should I tell a new partner straight away?

Posted , 4 users are following.

fiona53249
fiona53249

I was told I had herpes type one in feb this year. I havnt had another outbreak but I haven't even thought about going near anyone never mind sleeping with someone. 

I have met a man that I have started dating and I don't know what to do, weather to break it off or have the dreaded talk.  I'm from a city where everyone knows everything about everyone else so I'm scared if I tell him hebmight tell people, and scared if I don't ill do to him what I had happen to me.

Doctors and nurses keep giving me different answer a to weather I can give someone herepes if I have no symptons and wear a condom.

Any advice would be great

0 likes, 7 replies

7 Replies

  • nelly123
    nelly123 fiona53249

    Posted

    Out of respect it is best to tell him, this is not just a cold that will go away but something that your partner will have to live with permanently (if u were to pass it on) and just because you have experienced little symptoms, it may be worse for him. Up to you really, you could risk it for a one night stand but if things get more serious I don't think he will appreciate you telling him after being sexual 
    • fiona53249
      fiona53249 nelly123

      Posted

      It come across what I've actually meant. I would never sleep with him and not tell him, I'm more worried if I should risk other people finding out i have by telling him or just end it with him 
    • nelly123
      nelly123 fiona53249

      Posted

      It depends, how comfortable are you with him? Do you trust him? Is the relationship serious or heading that way? I guess you just have to read how use are together. If he's only after one thing then don't, if he's interested in you and hasn't pressured you into sex and you can get to know him a bit longer without meting intimate then maybe it will be fine to tell him. What I found, is you have to accept herpes first neco use if he does go out and tell people and you haven't accepted it yourself then your emotional and physical state can take a blow. Just remember herpes is common ppl have it without knowing, it's not the end if the world and you are no different, a sore does not define you so if ppl judge you for having it they are not worth having I your life
  • sammiboiii
    sammiboiii fiona53249

    Posted

    I'm new to the whole herpes thing myself only found out I have it 2 days ago an I'm still absolutely gutted.

    But I have done a fair amount of research and from what I've found so far is that, HVS T1 is different from HVS T2 and that if you have HVS T1 you an't give it to someone via sexual contact. as HVS T1 is oral herpes.

    If you were to go down on someone then yes you could give them the HVS T2 or if you were to kiss/makeout then you could give someone HVS T1.

    But remember during the process of having Herpes it's frequent spreading period is during outbreaks, that's not to say you can't give to someone when you aren't having breakouts because you can.

    but the chances are a lot smaller; I still haven't been able to come to terms with the fact that I have HVS T2 and honestly havent been put in the situation where I have to tell a potential partner.

    But I can tell you this, put yourself in his position and him in yours, would you want him to tell you he has herpes prior starting anything serious with him?

    Would you want to know if there's a chance you could catch this virus, or would you rather find out weeks or months later by yourself that he gave you a virus and didn't tell me or warn you prior.

    That's the best answer in terms of what you should do.

    If you have HVS T2 then yes a condom becomes basically mandatory, unless you're trying to concieve in which you then should wait till you have no outbreaks or any signs of up coming outbreaks.

    This goes the same with HVS T1 try keep kissing and making out to a minimum, and none what's so ever if outbreaks are upcoming or are there.

    Hope this advice helps, I'm sorry to hear you have this horrible disease as well.

    I'm sytill absolutely torn from this. Good Luck.

    • nelly123
      nelly123 sammiboiii

      Posted

      HSV 1 can be passed on to genitals and remains HSV 1 ...... yes it is oral herpes but it can still be on the genitals, if you have read other posts and comments its quite common.  
    • sammiboiii
      sammiboiii nelly123

      Posted

      Sorry I'm not 100% educated on this as of yet due to being new to it myself.
  • Nordic
    Nordic fiona53249

    Posted

    YES, yes, yes!  You must tell him.  If he's decent, he will understand. If you give it to him without having warned him, he can sue you for ABH.
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