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Should I wait

Posted , 2 users are following.

b36593
b36593

I am looking for advice. Three weeks ago my GF broke up with me after a couple weeks of anxiety and panic attacks . Two days before she was loving and said she loved me, we live apart and we had one day apart and she asked to meet me and she said she can't feel anything right now and that she doesn't feel love for me so we should break up and doesn't want me to put my life on hold for her. She wants to be friends we still talk a couple times a week via text. I asked her to get help and she said she was trying then this week she made it a point to tell me she was finally able to get an appointment with a therapist and that she feels really good about it. I saw her last week at a work function( we work for the same company but 3 hours apart). That night she got really drunk and I took her home and put her to bed as I was leaving she grabbed my shirt and told me not to leave her. She held tight to my shirt cuddling me until she fell asleep. Nothing else happened. The next day she said she still doesn't feel anything. I was confused and asked why she wanted me to stay. She didn't have an answer.

I love her very much, three weeks before the break up we were picking kid names and thinking of ways to work out moving in together.

I want to believe that she still loves me right now and that I should wait for her to get better. But she keeps telling me to move on. Every time she does it hurts. Every time we talk and we don't say I love you like we did before it hurts, but I don't want to give up on an amazing woman. she wasn't seeing a therapist when this happened and wasn't medicated though she has been in the past.

Has anyone with anxiety done this to their significant other? And if so when you started to feel better did the feelings come back? I want to have hope. But I have anxiety issues of my own and have had to make adjustments since this happened. Like I said, I want to have hope, I love her and at one point she said she had never dealt anything like what she felt with me in regard to love (even with her ex husband in their beginning) so I do believe she actually loved me. But I'm afraid the longer I wait the more it will hurt and I am scared to get bitter.

Any advice would be great. Thank you

0 likes, 4 replies

4 Replies

  • borderriever
    borderriever b36593

    Posted

    When I was in my mid twenties I went through something very much the same with someone who I felt was that right one.

    The problem was she had mental Health problems, and I was just as bad, eventually She decided she did not want to hurt me and decided that the relationship should end, this in turn was reinforced by Her Parents so we parted.

    I was hurt, although I managed to get over the loss. I waited to see if She would call me, this did not happen and I just moved on.

    You need to make that decision, in case She really feels after a time that this relationship is not for Her. We can proceed through a relationship as a habit and if that happens it never ends in a happy place. 

    We met once more when attending a dance and she was married by then, I was just about too meet my future wife at that time and have been married now for forty years.

    It is up to you what you decide, remember with mental health people do change their outlook on life and do just move on. All depends on your understanding of the situation you are now in

  • babyt36
    babyt36 b36593

    Posted

    Hi,I'm sry to hear about your relationship being so difficult right now.I've had anxiety for years now and I'm taking celexa which helps a lit but I still struggle with bad days.I wanted to let u know that I just separated from my partner because I didn't wanna continue to drag my partner through my ups and downs,lately I've been having a hard time with my anxiety and it makes me worry so much that I dnt wna go anywhere or do anything and that's not far to my partner.Im going to try to change my meds and hopefully that will help.I dnt knw alot about your situation but if she's really trying to get help with her anxiety it will take some time for her to adjust to the way she feels,maybe try to talk to her and let her knw that you love her and you wna be by her side,maybe you both could help each other.Good luck and I hope everything works out for you!

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