shoulda/woulda/ coulda

Posted , 6 users are following.

Yet again I find myself awake in the early hours, unable to sleep as my over active mind demands control over my over exhausted body.I read and replied to a post before which in turn awoke memories in myself I had long thought forgotten. When I was young and somewhat naive, I had ideas of trying to save our planet from some of the ugly things I noticed going on in our world. After years of trying and hopefully doing my bit, I gave up? Nothing was changing, the rainforests were still being destroyed, animals were still being slaughtered for the skin off their backs, whales brought to the brink of extinction, sharks mutilated for their fins just to make a bowl of soup. I was repulsed by what was going on around me yet I quit? Change wasn't happening fast enough so I abandoned my ideals and let the world do whatever. Now, after reading a post before and preaching to a 23 yr old young woman about what can be achieved by an individual, I've realised myself that I have no idea how things would of worked out if I hadn't of quit and the shame is, I will never know. Imagine if you will, Martin Luther king giving up half way through his struggle, Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Jefferson, these people were born in some of the worst moments in history, Im sure at times they must of considered quitting, they never did and during their lifetime they could look back and think, I done that? I never quit and look what I have achieved. It is only people who make the decision to quit who never get to know what they could of achieved, I shoulda done more, I wish I woulda done more, I know I coulda done more, but I quit. It is probably too late for me now to make a difference but I have learnt never to quit again. My hope is that someone somewhere can learn from my mistakes, don't give up, face what ever is round the corner. At least you can look back with pride and think to yourself, I done that? Successful or not, you didn't quit. That is something to be proud of.

3 likes, 32 replies

Report / Delete

32 Replies

Next
  • Posted

    You are a true idealist, David. We need more of your kind in the world. I'm sure you have it in you to change the world. You are still 'young'.

    In my retirement I have started teaching English to (very well educated) immigrants who have come to Canada in the hopes of making a better life for themselves. I admire them because it was a huge risk and it took a lot of courage for them to pull up stakes and come with their families to start a new life in Canada. Most need to go back to school and get further education even though they all have degrees. I am so happy and provileged to be able to help them achieve their goal of finding work by helping them improve their English. I am doing something I have always wanted to do and I took two courses in order to prepare myself to do this...at age 60. I am helping people which, like you I enjoy doing. So, the message is...it's never too late to learn, to achieve personal goals and to change the world. 

    Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      My dear robin, thank you for the reply, again I am ashamed? Maybe due to my sleep deprivatiin, I forgot to mention the main point to what I wrote when thought of woulda/coulda/shoulda, and that was, thankfully not everyone quit like I did? They still believed and fought on not knowing if they could change anything or not. One only has to look around to witness some of changes those brave people have achieved? Reductions in nuclear arsenals, some species of whales brought back from the brink, parts of the rainforests preserved forever, the gorrillas in the Congo thriving, reserves for the rhinos and elephants. My god, all these things and more would never of been achieved if all followed my suit and quit. So really, the moral of my story was to people out there who ever think of quitting, be it their ideals, ideas, even life itself is not to. Change can and often dies come, it's just that it so often takes along time. I,m proud you found place and are now living the dream of helping people, that is something I would like to do. No male member of my family has lived past the age of 64 and that was my father. No I,m not quitting again and not resigned myself the the fate I believe is due me. One of my brothers already has cancer and not that long to live, I am happy educating myself, my self worth is what matters to me now, I do not believe I an worth much morally but I an trying to change that. It is my goal to make amends for my mistakes so when my time comes I too can kook back and think (I did that and I never quit) thanks again hun, you're a diamond.
      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Oh my goodness, David. I don't know where to begin. 

      You talk about 'those brave people'...who have made major changes in this world. Not all of us can be Nelson Mandela or Mother Teresa and their ilk. But...in so many ways we...that is including YOU have helped those same people reach such levels of success. You sensitise people to these issue by sharing information about them, you may have passed along emails about the plight of animals in Africa for example. Even telling us about 'bringing some species of whales back from the brink' puts these issues in our minds to consider and reflect upon...and maybe go onto sites and research further and contribute to.

      I think you are minimizing your impact on the world. Just as on a football team, one person may score, but all those other football players behind him were instrumental in getting that ball down the field and into the net. 

      In our own small way, we hope to make the world a better place...which you certainly do. You help your elderly neighbours....and in doing so, you don't know, but you are likely inspiring others in your building who see what you are doing and one day will do the same...and will tell others what you do and inspire them etc.. They will admire you for your selflessness and strive to do better in life and become like you.  I am sure, because of your sensitive and caring nature, you have helped many people...including your sister and you are unaware of the impact you have had on the lives of others. You would need to post a long list all the wonderful things you have done for people. Even just giving your local grocery a compliment about his shop, lifted his spirits which then in turn might have made him treat his children better that evening, or make him want to work harder is another brick in the wall of kindness and support to others which makes this world a better place.

      You underrate your own importance and impact on the lives of others. I think you should make a list of things you have done over your life time that have helped others. 

      Look at Roberta and her story about helping a vagrant. That one gesture could brighten that poor man's day...and maybe...just maybe he will say to himself, "This world is not so harsh and cruel after all...." And that might make him want to seek help. It may not bring peace to the whole world, but it could bring peace to that one suffering man's small world just as you bring comfort and support to your elderly neighbours. 

      Do you belong to a church, David? Personally, I am not religious, and maybe you are not either, and does that really matter? A church community is a group of people who help and support one another and who want to make the world a better place..your kind of people! You would be a wonderful asset to a church community. It's too bad we don't have more giving people like you, David.

      I'm sorry to hear about your brother. You can do something about your health and increase your chances of living a long and healthy life through lifestyle changes. Do you know 'TED talks'? They are a collection of videos of speeches from conferences. If you are not familiar with 'TED talks' as they are called, you will LOVE them because they are all about heroes who DO make this world a better place in very important ways. There are talks on the very subjects that interest you. Here is one Ted Talk by someone I consider my hero: Dr. Li who talks about cancer prevention. The answer is right on our dinner plates. https://www.ted.com/talks/william_li ;

      I see you have written a few more posts so I will get to those.

      Chin up!

      Robin

       

      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      hi robin angel? well firstly let me apologise for the delay in replying? i found myself in a not so happy place yesterday although i never even left my home? so many happy memories from my past came flooding back but they decided to bring their friends? (the not so happy memories) i deactivated my data as i know i would of ended up being unthoughtful and instead selfish if i responded to this forum and thats just not right, people are using this forum in times of their own despair, the last thing they need is me going on about my own issues and it would be so incenitive of me to cloud these pages with negativity. it took a good 24 hours for me to shake the mood and now i am back? what a relief. i made it to the library and it is on one of their computers that i am replying now. it seems i have a few comments to read and i will get to them and reply in turn, yours being the first i seen and read. your reply was very appreciated and i do understand what you are saying, by taking little steps one can still cover great distances. my angel, i know so many people that where once my friends and in most cases if not all they would still like to be my friend, the reason they are not is my conscious decision? i could write truths on this forum that would sound so bizarre that they probably ouldnt be believed yet if they was believed it could harm the healing process of others who are reading? so yes, when i suffer i suffer alone, wanted to say more hun butit seems ive used up all the space, thanks again angel.
      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      biggrinhi robin have just read your reply to David. You put all the things down on paper I wish I could . You and David both have a wonderfull gift of words. At the end of the day it all helps us think and then try harder. I want peace in the world for every one. No hunger no pain and most of all for every one some were to rest your head and be comfortable and safe .. biggrin
      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Hello Roberta,

      I think you have made an invaluable contribution to this post. I love your outlook on life. Stop and smell the roses...because they are there. You made me really imagine you walking down the street enjoying and appreciating the sound of bird song and the beauty of nature. You are very spiritual which brings another completely different element to these posts. And suggestions of solace and support from a belief in God and going to one's house of worship are so uplifting.  Although people may not always comment or reply, I am sure you have made an impact on people. Keep it up. You have a lot to offer that people like me cannot.

      Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Hi again robin, I made quite afew typos in that last post, I ment to say I,m glad you found your place in helping to educate people? Afew more typos happened, sorry about that? Yes hun, I used to travel myself, seen most of Europe further afield was Tunisia, Egypt, Thailand, Dubai. I had a pretty decent yet chaotic lifestyle and then my sister passed my breakdown was complete and have done nothing really ever since. Your homeland is a beautiful country and I have no doubt in my mind that if my sister had lived and my breakdown did nor occur I would of got to see Canada. I saw a film once about Rubin Carter, the hurricane? (Boxer) and some Canadians adopted a young bleach child from a ghetto in America and took him away from the madness of his immediate surrounds. Was a truely inspiring film. The kid grew up past his master's degree etc and became a lawyer. In the meantime they "the Canadians" reviewed the case of Rubin Carter descovered he was innocent and successfully campaigned for his freedom abd had his conviction over turned. I was quite envious of that kid but how coincidental was that, they adopted a kid, took him to a bookfare he found the book I think call 13 rounds, kid could hardly read, that we the book about Rubin Carter and that's where there quest began. I,n sorry for going on hun, probably too early in the morning for my ramblings. You take care hun and happy Sunday too you. No work, slippers on and curl up by your fire. Ha. Thanks angel.
    Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Aha!  You see how one couple changed the world by adopting that child from the American ghetto. And by chance, at the book fair in purchasing that book about Rubin Carter they were inspired to fight for him and obtain his freedom. What a story of inspiration! 

      Your library probably has many books of such 'heroes' that you would enjoy. 

      Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Hi David in depth or what????? .it is never to late!!!!we can not change what has gone! In the past!!!!but wait we do have a choice!!! Of what can happen inthe future !!!!you are still a young man!!!! Sometimes living in the past eg what I could have done or what I did not do! Needs to be left there .to enable us to move on. In the peace of the early morning I walked through the city to the church thinking. Yes you were on my mind!!! The sun shone. The birds singing. It is a glorious day. Wny not just try and enjoy today! Maybe one day at a time!!think not of past or future. ????just live today!!,say to our selves I will enjoy today! What ever it holds for me????? Well I am sorry you have had no rest through the night!!!!  Today you will be tired!! Try to relax. Listen to some music may be????? Think nice special thoughts!!!!david today the sun is shining!!maybe it might make you feel good today?????robertax

     

    Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Thanks angel, only just turned data back on my phone, turned it off for a while because for some reason or other the sun isn't shining so bright for me today? Still, I hear what you're saying and it makes sense. Thank you so much.
      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      hi my darling roberta. yes hun, pretty lousy night, never went to see alan, thought sunday not the best day to try take up his time? wasnt feeling to happy anyway. you have all helped me by being there, maybe it is time i buy a computer? thank you so much for being my unknown friends, you are all so dear to me.
      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Hi David hope you feeling a little better.yes we are all your unknown friends!!!and we feel for you and each other!!!! I wonder what it would be like if we were all put in the same room?????bet we would not reconise each other???yes good idea save up and buy a computer!!!i don't have one I have a lap top which I find easy to use and ideal for me.mind you I think you would reconise me because my picture is there for you to see!!!  Maybe go see Alan another day. I am sure he would be pleased to see you!!xxbiggrin
      Report / Delete Reply

Join this discussion or start a new one?

New discussion Reply

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the forums to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the forums are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the forums is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.

newnav-down newnav-up