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About a week and a half ago i got something like a panic attack in School and then went to Hospital and was hospitalised for 2 days due to strong suicidal thoughts. My psychiatrist prescribed me something in the hopes it all gets better and I can go to School. And the first 2-3 days it kinda worked, I felt overall better than before. Then we went a bit higher on the dosage and since then I´ve felt pretty negative an every time I only briefly think about school or something connected to it, I start hyperventilating, I get chest tightness and numbness in my limbs or tinglings..I feel like I might pass out. You see, I don´t know why this is happening. I want to go to school and it´s been already almost 2 weeks since I last was there, been staying at home due to being unstable and all, but really I feel a bit guilty for doing so, cos it´s like hey, i have to deal with my problems, right, i got to get better… At the same time I am not hard on myself, but I´m thinking like...can´t I just push it and go to school? I mean, shouldn´t I.. Because I am low energy and all due to the anxiety and I can get higly suicidal at any moment, but it´s been already 2 weeks and maybe it´s not such a big deal at the end if I just go… I mean I don´t know. My psychiatrist told me she could give me another note for more time but I feel like maybe I´m being too weak with myself, maybe I can do more so...I don´t know, I really don´t..
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