Sick for a week, need help
Posted , 2 users are following.
Hi everyone.
I'm 28 and I take zoloft 200mg. That's honestly how I can only write to define myself at this moment. The past week--I went off of the zoloft and I feel like I should hang myself every day I get home. I know going off cold turkey is the worst idea possible, but I wake up everyday wishing that I didn't have to face another day. I know I have to solve my own issues--try again. I know that i am in control of my future and my actions.
I've been through a lot- and now that I'm approaching my 30's I feel like all of it was for nothing. Everyone I have loved has left me- dealing with an eating disorder since I was 16 I have been unable to achieve what I wanted in undergrad- as I was hooked up to a feeding tube for a year when graduating high school and then my parents shipped me off to college and changed home in a new state. This was during the financial crash and now I'm reading more about how wall street and big banks are being funded again. I just can't see a future in which I am satisfied, not lonely, healthy and thriving in any way. History keeps repeating itself and I feel and keep fighting off the fact that I am fundamentally- alone. I probably won't have many people who can address this post with constructive feedback- if at all. I'm just typing into a void.
1 like, 6 replies
rose03407 MF6699
Posted
I really feel for you. I am 17 years old and would never think of going off my medication because I can't function without it. I'm on 700 mg of Seroquel to prevent auditory hallucinations from PTSD and also Zoloft. I started at 25 mg and have worked my way up to 100 mg. Cold Turkey can cause all sorts of physical problems...heart attack...stroke... It is best to stay on the Zoloft... it is an excellent medicine for major depression and eating disorders. Feeling like you want to commit suicide is not normal thinking... You are still young and have the best years ahead of you... Please don't every beleive that you will end up alone... it is the depression playing tricks on your mind... you are not thinking clearly. Please call your psychiatrist and get help. I'm worried about you. I see my psychiatrist 2x a week... I plan on going to college in the Fall ...but only starting with 1 class , that is all I can handle. We always need to know our limits and there is nothing wrong with taking medicine for the mind or body. The meds help us to function in a sometimes up and down world. For me, Zoloft has been a God send. A real gift. Before the Zoloft... I was planning suicide .... but now my thinking is normal and I love life... even if I can't do college ... I don't care...there are so many other options... Just try to keep stress at bay in your life. Stress is a trigger for Flashbacks and then the voices come with it. Stay healthy... eat fruits, veggies... work out and build muscle so you feel empowered. And remember, to solve your own issues.. you will need a weapon to keep the enemy (depression, eating disorder) from harming you. I would never go into battle without my sheild , helmet, sword, breastplate...etc. In our case, It's hard to face an enemy that you can't see & wants to see us dead without a weapon (medication)... Please go easy on yourself and know that we all have something in common... we want to live the best life we can... if that means meds... than I am the first to play by the rules and stay on them. They really have staved my life. If you are religious... know that you are God's masterpiece and He has plans for you. If not, take one day at a time... stay in the present.. don't think about the future... not one of us can predict the future. I hope I was of some help to you. Cheers xx
MF6699 rose03407
Posted
Thanks so much for responding kindly rose, you're really a sweet heart. <3
MF6699 rose03407
Posted
And yes, don't worry about college right now. At 17, (in 2007 :0) I think I felt more like I was 25 going on 40...compared to now I am just living day by day, for better or for worse. My parents put much more expectation on me to get into a good college because they were academics, but that resulted in about 2 years of floundering around in majors. And I'm from NYC, so there was this expectation of getting up every day and succeeding, physically being perfect, competing with everyone who wants a salary position over 100k. Anyway, find out what really drives you instead of jumping into something because of societal pressure. I hear seroquel is really potent stuff, be careful with that. And thanks again for your comment and concern. I can tell you're a great person.
rose03407 MF6699
Posted
MF6699 rose03407
Posted
I have a friend with a bone disease that takes seroquil. She gave me some once because I was having trouble with insomnia and it knocked me out for 18 hours. But I know it's also used for psychosis. I hope your condition isn't more serious than PTSD (even though PTSD is horrible to grapple with.) I read about neurodegenerative illnesses like schizophrenia and know that it's a genetic trait. Sorry, I probably shouldn't probe or scare you since I know nothing about you, but it's a concern. Our society is very unaccepting of some mental diseases.
rose03407 MF6699
Posted
Yes, Seroquel is a very powerful drug with many potential side effects. It should only be taken when absolutely needed. I would never take it to go to sleep. I had major depressive disorder...that led to sleep paralysis, flashbacks, and some auditory hallucinations. I knew that they were not real and it was my mind struggling for help. I just could not function anymore without medicine. This is why I am on Seroquel & such a high dose. The Flashbacks were the worst of all and the Seroquel has eliminated them.... and thank God the sleep paralyisis is gone... I just get a few minutes of 1 voice ( the voice is my own) break through the medicine once or twice a month. You are so right...All mental illness has a genetic componant to it. It would have gotten worse if I did not get help from a psychiatrist in the early stages. I am very open and if I can talk about my condition or how I got help for it... I will. Blessings xx