Silly little problems or something more serious?

Posted , 2 users are following.

I don't usually write anything in the forums but I'll give it a try because I really need to get this off my chest. I'll try to keep it as short as possible.

A little background: I started working as an au pair a year ago, I have 1,5 years left and I like what I do. I was bullied for about 7 years from first year of elementary school to first year of middle school. I've always have had a problem with socializing and trusting people.

For few years I've been having symptoms like shortness of breath if I'm super stressed, I'm having hard time queueing in a shop (I usually have to walk around the shop about 10-20 minutes to get myself together) or any other place really, I get really anxious about going to places with loads of people where I know I have to have social interactions and I always listen if people have a judgement on their voice when they're talking to me (for example few days ago my hostmom said that I could do potatoes more often for dinner and I've been feeling such a failure about it. I know that's completely ridiculous but I can't help it.) I've also got shaky hands very often and I'm feeling nervous most of the time which makes me pick at the skin around my nails.

I have hard time getting to the doctor to talk about this because I already feel anxious even thinking about discussing about it with anyone, I'm usually very closed up person who doesn't talk about own emotions or feelings but listens other peoples' problems. I don't want to feel like a burden with my silly problems.

Do you think I might have an anxiety?

Thank you if you read the whole story, I appreciate it. x

1 like, 5 replies

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5 Replies

  • Posted

    Yes, but it also seems you are well aware of it and why it occurs. That part is healthy. You need more self esteem, self love and to learn to deep breathe using your belly not your chest. Breathe in stomach expands, breathe out stomach flattens. It will feel weird at first but it adjusts and you'll get nice deep calm breaths. You sound like a hard working good solid person so pat yourself on the back. Everyone struggles a bit with social anxiety, very important to recognize thats all it is. I think you are a people pleaser overall. Thats lovely you care so much, but always put your own self love first. Sometimes criticism isnt bad its constructive, to help you learn something or grow as a person so rather then personalize it take it on the cuff. It will help you grow as a person. Keep being you, an au pair is a hard job and takes a wonderful person to fill those shoes.
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    • Posted

      I'm amazed how accurate your reply is, just.. wow! I would say I'm a people pleaser. I'm unable to say no to anything people ask me to do, even if it makes me greatly unhappy. I usually feel like my problems aren't worth mentioning and I rather feel unhappy than make people feel unhappy about me. I'll try to work on that.

      I think my friends think I'm imagining everything, I'm so worried about my health, everytime something hurts I'm sure it's something serious and am in a verge of a panic attack and I tell these things to my friends but they say it's nothing and usually are right in the end which makes me feel like an idiot for being so worried.

      Thank you for your tips! smile xx

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  • Posted

    I think you have a social anxiety so you need to join a group and do joint things to get over it.  Easier said than done but there is your challenge.
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  • Posted

    Yes it sounds to me like you do suffer with anxiety, more social anxiety though I would say. And sadly these bullies has caused/contributed to it. I've suffered with anxiety since I was 16 (now 24) and although it's not easy, it becomes "easier" when we learn to cope with it. But it sounds like you already have a good understanding of it and you recognise that it is indeed anxiety. It's common to feel like you're a burden when you're an anxiety sufferer, but you really aren't, I've realised that over the years. We just assume the worst, but again that's part of being an anxious person. Talk to someone you feel comfortable with i.e family or friend. And if you really don't feel like you can open up to them then you can always speak to people on here. You're not alone in the way you feel and sometimes speaking to people you can relate to can make you feel tons better smile
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  • Posted

    Thank you everyone for the tips! Having a really rough week after a really rough weekend so I really appreciate you all took time to answer smile
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