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I don't usually write anything in the forums but I'll give it a try because I really need to get this off my chest. I'll try to keep it as short as possible.
A little background: I started working as an au pair a year ago, I have 1,5 years left and I like what I do. I was bullied for about 7 years from first year of elementary school to first year of middle school. I've always have had a problem with socializing and trusting people.
For few years I've been having symptoms like shortness of breath if I'm super stressed, I'm having hard time queueing in a shop (I usually have to walk around the shop about 10-20 minutes to get myself together) or any other place really, I get really anxious about going to places with loads of people where I know I have to have social interactions and I always listen if people have a judgement on their voice when they're talking to me (for example few days ago my hostmom said that I could do potatoes more often for dinner and I've been feeling such a failure about it. I know that's completely ridiculous but I can't help it.) I've also got shaky hands very often and I'm feeling nervous most of the time which makes me pick at the skin around my nails.
I have hard time getting to the doctor to talk about this because I already feel anxious even thinking about discussing about it with anyone, I'm usually very closed up person who doesn't talk about own emotions or feelings but listens other peoples' problems. I don't want to feel like a burden with my silly problems.
Do you think I might have an anxiety?
Thank you if you read the whole story, I appreciate it. x
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