Sister Passed last night and perimenopause

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My sister passed last night and i dont know how im going to get through with this perimenopause and loss of my sister. This is too much for me i am not strong enough to deal with this. My anxiety is uncontrolable , dizziness, weakness, cant sleep at all. i cant make through this crisis like this. This is too much for me, why why why???

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  • Posted

    Dear Mary - you are in our thoughts and I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Anxiety is uncontrollable in peri and with your loss no one can even begin to understand what you must be going through. I am not one for chemicals but maybe you should consider just taking aid in a calming tablet like Xanor to get you through this time. Really so sorry to hear about your loss.
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  • Posted

    As much as our reluctance to take medications i really think you need to consider some medical intervention, even for a short time to get you through this sad and upsetting time. You wouldn't be letting anyone down by recognising you need help.

    Take care

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  • Posted

    I really feel for you . I lost my mum two years ago just as I started peri . It has been one of the most traumatic and hard periods of my life , but I am slowly coming out the other side . I still have times where I feel low , but I think this just par for the course with hormones all over the place . I did go onto antidepressants as I was at breaking point , literally . I am now gradually weaning myself off them . It will take time and everyone handles grief differently , but you will get through this . Take care , Jane X
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  • Posted

    Mary, am so sorry to hear of your loss. It is a difficult time of life for us dealing with menopause and loss of loved ones. In the space of one year I lost two uncles, an

     aunt and my dad. But I have other loved ones that I focus on. My mum needs me, my children need me and my hubby needs me. I take what medication I need to be able to function as a daughter, wife and mother. You are wanted. You are necessary. You are loved.

    Like the others say, there is no shame in taking medication to help you through this time.

     

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  • Posted

    You are in my thoughts and prayers and my condolences to you and your family. I pray God's peace and comfort for you. I am so sorry you are going thru this emotional and stressful time. I know this may not be what you want to here but you may have to seek some medication temporarily to help get thru. It's okay to get help, some things we just can't bare on on our own and it is nothing wrong with taking care of yourself. Hopefully you will consider it.

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  • Posted

    Mary, so sorry for your loss my condolences with much sympathy for you.  But, here is my suggestion to you.  “Take care of yourself”.   I could sit here and text all day long about everything I have been through since all these peri symptoms started.  I am 46 and all this horror started at 45 for me.  Let me tell you, these hormones or lack of, can and do create havoc to our body and mind.  I was losing my mind to the point of contemplating ending it all, yes!  that is how bad I started off.  But let me tell you something Mary, your going to get through all of this!  You are going to be fine!  I am doing sooo much better!!! Day by day it will get better this I promise you.  Be strong, have faith!  Believe!  I left all this horror in the hands of our Father Lord! And prayed for strength to get through this without any medications or HRT.  I started exercising (walking) cutting out sugar and caffeine which can and does make the anxiety worse during this time.  Also take care of yourself pay more attention to yourself because this is the time in our lives to finally do for ourselves since most of us have been attending to husbands and children’s etc.  Well, now it is time for us women to pay attention to ourselves and really love ourselves and prepare ourselves for the next chapter of our lives without periods.  Mary, I also want you to know that it is okay to seek support or medical advice as well,  Us women are all different in how we experience peri-menopause and menopause and I am  sharing my experience with you so you are able to take my advice but I am also letting you know it is okay to see your Dr. and see what he or she suggest. I do believe if you can take something (medication) that is going to help you with some of this discomfort and anxiety by all means try it and see if it helps.  I chose not too but that does not mean you have too.  I know the loss of a loved one and it can be so hard especially during all these awful symptoms.  But Mary, your going to get through this I promise you. Lots of prayers and positive thinking!  “THIS TOO SHALL PASS” A strong hug your way Mary.  🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

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    • Posted

      Thank you Olimari for such a positive perspective from someone who has been through it all and come out the other end just fine. You should post it as a stand alone post. Lots of women on these menopause discussion forums are suffering and can see no end in sight or want some reassurance that it will end. They need to hear from more women who have been through it and come out the other end just fine, like you. Instead they hear from others who are going through the same or worse and it ends up as one long list of everyone's misery and woe. I think the problem is that once someone has 'recovered' they don't bother to post about it (that applies to other health discussions on this website). People need to hear more positive messages. Well, I think so anyway.

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    • Posted

      I just thought that perhaps this was not the place for my post above. Perhaps I should have private messaged Olimari. This is the place for supporting Mary who is in great need at the moment. Mary, we are all concerned for you and are wishing you the best. If we were with you, we would all give you a big hug.
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    • Posted

      thank you Suki girl...this is so hard for me. I did take a prescription i had for anxiety but it does not stop the pain in my heart. As i write this crying , it is still hard for me. My body seem so frail and beaten enough from the perimenopause. I know i must eat something to keep the strenght i have and not to mention no more weight loss because my body cant endure any more. I am grateful for this forum, you ladies help keep me going.

      Thanks for all your support.❤

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    • Posted

      I'm afraid that there is no cure for a broken heart, just time can lessen it. But you are already showing an inner strength even if you are not aware of it yet. Just focus on the fundamental things at the moment - make sure you eat well, drink plenty (water), and get plenty of rest and sleep and fresh air. Keeping busy can help too. Whatever works for you.

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    • Posted

      Hello and thank you Suki Girl, you know though I can say I am doing much better these days I can’t say I’m completely out of the woods yet as I have yet to reach actual menopause.  But definitely feeling much relief as opposed to when all this started.  And I keep being a member on this support group because I want every woman to know that all this is only a passage and for some women it’s a breeze but for others as myself it can be awful.   And if and when I do reach menopause, I will continue to provide all the support and comfort I can to all the beautiful wonderful ladies who are part of this group and for all the new women yet to join.  XOXO to all my ladies on this support group. Be strong! Keep Faith!  
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    • Posted

      Mary if you find eating hard take some complan. I am not sure if you are in the UK but its a liquid nutrient drink for convalescence with vitamins, take some magnesium and sleep is the healer if you can get it. Sleep as much as you can. I hope it eases each day. 
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    • Posted

      Mary, it is so hard sometimes overcome the emotions specially if you Loss your love one. Emotions play the most important part in this adventure call menopause or being a woman it is really hard to be strong in front of all the challenges that we have to fight. Personally My daughter had a rough pregnancy and I thought that I was losing her and that was the drop that broke my glass everything went to s**t after my menopause came like a furious lion to me, anxiety has been a b***h since then, but you know what we can do it, it not easy but we can win over this big challenge!!! I am taking synthroid for thyroid, HRT Premarin and Progesterone for menopause, now today I got big emotional and my blood pressure went to the roof the doc put me on Med and tonight only to calmdown lorazepam. Well thanks god that everything that I had is emotional distress and menopause because I don't have cancer or any terrible sickness that is life threatening, thanks god that I can think and take decisions, work and be able to support my family and friends. I am not even religious but I give a big thanks to got everyday 

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  • Posted

    Hello again Mary . I wasn't trying to cause you more worry with my earlier post , I was trying to reassure you as I know exactly what you are going through . I was frightened to take the antidepressants at the time , but I knew I had to . They gradually helped with the grief and the peri . I was in turmoil but they were my saviour . Please keep strong . We are all here for you . All my love , Jane X 

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    • Posted

      No please Jane don't think that you caused me more worry. I really appreciate you sharing your experiences and advice. It has really helped me. I had several anxiety prescriptions so I went ahead and took one. I must say that I do feel somewhat better as far as the anxiety goes. I also had a prescription for heart palpitations and i took it also. I really would like to eat but have 0 appetite and ive already lost too much weight from my stomach issue. This year has be a very trying year for me, it started off with perimenopause and continued ...now losing my sister. 😓Thank you so much for your support.

      Did your eating habit changed?

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