Sleeping with the Enemy

I always ask for complete std testing whenever I suspect something. And of course they don't do everything unless you ask specifically...I'm going crazy over here, I swear it feels like I'm dying inside.....

Hi speechless gurl it seems that me and your situation are both quite simliar i was told i had herpes on nov 11 2014 hurt my feelings

It's so hard, because I don't sleep around and for this to happen, it's like I've been robbed. I'm just in a state of depression. And I know there are far worse things out there, but that still doesn't take away the pain of this thing.

I feel you my name is princess and im 22 years old if you feel you need to talk or text me you can always text me The guy I was with I had been with him since I was 18 years old four long years he took my virginity i never been with anyone else sexually only him oct of 2013 i had to go to the hospital cause I had nasty yellow discharge coming up out me he had gave me trichmonias but after taking the meds i thought i was cured i got tested for everything i never recieved a call back so nov 11 strange things was happening to my body again white discharge tingling burning sensation and when i look down there it be really red and round things like 2 or 3 and its hurts so bad the lesions well going back to the hospital i was diagnoised and when I check my results from last time the doctors forgot herpes on the list so basically when i had trichmonias i was carrying herpes to and never knew it

Emis Moderator comment: I have removed the phone number as we do not publish these in the forums. If users wish to exchange contact details please use the Private Message service .

http://patient.uservoice.com/knowledgebase/articles/398331-private-messages

That's crazy because herpes is not in the normal std testing, you have to basically all for the testing or have symptoms. But you would think that after all these people being infected unknowingly, they test reguardless. We live in a strange world where some of the things they do don't make sense. They need to put herpes testing in the regular line up.

Well your job obviously sows and incredible job of suppressing it, so there is a chance that you had this before him and that you passed it to him. Of course there is the chance as well that he has passed this to you, had it before or got it from cheating. I'm so sorry to hear this. That is a terrible situation he has put you in. You do not deserve that and you definitely shouldn't stay w such a liar. He clearly is reckless and it coukd of been HIV he exposed you both to and not something that won't kill you.

I feel the same way. My thought on that, is that big pharma can't make money if this disease is no longer and epidemic. That makes so much money off of antivirals. Big pharma pays the governments money and the government is who decides what STDs should be included in the full std screen. It's messed up that they intentially allow this to be an epidemic.

You're right but the problem is. I work in health care, so I know how testing goes and I know you have to specifically ask for it, which I do all the time. Just this time it came back positive. So I know he gave it to me within the last year, because that's the last time I was tested for it, which I was negative at that time. Only when this chic contacted me is when I went to get tested again because she texted positive... it's a mess....they needed to find a cure. I haven't ate,drink or slept since I got my results yesterday morning. Terrible.

That's crazy🔫🔫🔫🔫🔪👀 screw them people, I feel like they've failed me.

I heard the nhs don't test because so many people have herpes and don't know about it, so it would be more distressing for them to find out they have it and deal with it.

So they go on, unknowingly spreading the disease In their ignorant bliss.

Then there is us. The lucky 20% who get symptoms.

So not only do we have to deal with the symptoms of having herpes, but we have to deal with the social stigma and rejection and absolute distress caused by this. Even from the people who may have herpes but just don't know about it.

It's not fair !!!!!!!!!

This fact made me absolutely sick to my stomach when I found out. It still infuriates me.

The nhs and big pharmaceutical companies have let us down.

They are letting a huge epidemic spread and letting us suffer. The social stigma SUCKS !!!!!

Wow, that's terrible....this and aids has to be the worst out there. I'm saying, all of them are terrible, but we have to deal with herpes for the rest of our lives. I'm trying to pick myself up because I still have responsibilities. I have 2 kids to care for and work.....I also start new classes next Tuesday, how in the world am I supposed to function and focus. Now I've decided to be single because of this lying cheater.....which makes it harder on me. I can't imagine telling anyone about this, EVER.

I was told this yesterday. I asked the woman so I thought this was included in STD check up. As september tested and was clear but herpes never realised u had to request it.

Theres a lot people don't know. I am still learning.

I was going to text you when you left your number, but I see the system removed it, saying you have to directly message the person with any private info. I guess they're very strict about privacy. Lol....

I agree... There arw scientists that have been waiting for yrs for the funding to continue their cure for herpes, but can't get it. Most funding for trials comes from guess who? Big pharma... Big pharma isn't going to find a cure, which would cause them to lose money. Until one of these you know what's that own a pharmaceutical company experience what we so, will there be someone compassionate enough to look past the greed and fund the trial for a cure. We will likely not see one in our life time.

Tears! !!!This is just one tragic nightmare. I feel like I'm dying a little at a time. They should just fund it and get it over with. . Life is short. I want to be able to function again. I don't even have symptoms but the emotional side is excruciating...I cant deal

Wow.. So you knew the deal. I'm so sorry. Is he aware he has it and is spreading it? That woman's baby is at a serious health risk w contracting it while already pregnant, instead of before. She has a rough road ahead of her as well. Had you no idea or any suspicion he was cheating? What a j*erk. I am so sorry. It is normal to feel this devastation. We all go through feeling that way when we get it. I mean I'd not had sex for two yrs and do for my first time and get this, so I understand. I'm verybwell educated on STDs and was a huge proponent of speaking openly about the risks of sex and then one night I believe his lies and it all changes from there. I had the worst ob too, w severe neuropathy down buttock and legs for weeks. I couldn't sit up and had to go to the ER. just realize, this could have been so much worse. In due time, you'll realize that you can go about life like you did previously, minus the freedom of having the talk. All my friends have had no problems finding men who are OK w their diag and have even remarried. I've only had one friend who has experienced two rejections. There will be people who understand. I said I'd never be w someone who had something, but I dated someone who had genital warts. I never got it and practiced safe sex thank God...I had feelings for him and that meant more to me than my risk of getting it.

I've decided that when it is time to tell someone, I will request we get a full atd label done w herpes and when we get our results back, we can have the discussion. My thought on this is 1. It makes for an easier opening to the subject. 2. They get tested and cold possibly have it as well. This way they know their status, cuz men hardly ever get tested and never ask for herpes test. They are the biggest spreader of this disease.

The girl whose pregnant is the one who contacted me. I knew nothing previously, I thought he was faithful, but she said she knew about me. ....yet she only tried to contact me when her obgyn told her about her results. She claims he told her that him and I were over. But she later reveal she used to see me call the phone daily. I figured he had something going on but I had no concrete evidence. We had stopped having sex as much, guess cause he was getting it elsewhere. Everything this girl said was such a shocker to me, I could never sex someone who has someone already, then get pregnant. Life is so full of surprises.

And he claims he never knew he had it. All he can say is he's sorry.

Unfortunately, greed doesn't work off of a moral compass or compassion. I know it feels terrible now, but I promise you it gets better. Trust me, I went to a party a Lil over a month after I got it and had to listen to my first herpes joke when having it. Thank gos the other person w me, also had herpes. We both just looked at one another to assess how the other handled it. I faked laughed and immediately changed the subject. He was drunk and like most, ignorant to the disease. People ignorantly joke about it, because they can't fathom that their friends would have it or that they even have it and they very possibly do! I actually handled the joke quite well and enjoyed myself the rest of the night. You will feel better. You will GI days, if not longer forgetting you have this, because yiu don't even have symptoms. I don't go a day w out having some sort of symptom. I have obs constantly on daily meds. I promise you, that in a month, you'll have come to terms or maybe a little longer and you will go about your day. I am reminded daily I have it because of symptoms I have and I have to take meds. It will be OK and we are all here for you. Have you shared this w any close friends yet?

Just know that she is a broken soul inside and has zero self respect and self worth and is why she allows and accepts someone, knowingly into her life that is w someone else. I'm sure as time goes by, you will notice other red flags and realize you overlooked a lot. Our minds like to avoid pain and will trick us, to avoid it at any cost. Does he admit to having it?

Thanks for your constant feedback. You're constantly so supportive and uplifting. I hope one day soon you'll be outbreak free. And no, I haven't told anyone. I'm not ready for that, don't think I'll ever be, but who knows, one day I just might. But for now only him, i,and her knows about it. I think she actually had an outbreak because she's on medicine, we're not, because the doctor says we don't have symptoms. This site really does help. I appreciate you, honestly.

Yeah you're so right. And yes he admits it now, because after the girl contacted me, him and I went to get a complete std testing together. But we had to go to a different location for the herpes testing. She still wants him cause she continues to call. Out of the 2 of them, I'm not sure who gave it to who, but she takes medicine, that's the crazy part, so she obviously had an outbreak.

I'm so glad that I can help you through this. I promised myself that I'd respond to everyone after I joined, which was just last month because of what I went through and how alone I felt. I cried every day. I couldn't say the word w out bursting into tears. I remember laying on the table and balling mY eyes out during the exam, because I knew I had it. I hates the way I felt and how alone I felt. Then the people who I knew who had it, they've been living w it for close to a decade. They don't want to talk about it. They didn't want to comfort me past that one conversation really. They started to pull away from me, because it reminded them of having it and they wanted nothing to do w the feeling or memory.. One even cut me off completely. The coldness that i experienced from friends who had it and a couple who didn't, was devastating and I want to be there for others like people weren't there for me. So many say it's not a big deal and expect you yo just get over it, but yiu have a right to grieve and nobody can tell yiu different and if they do, they are a bad friend and you don't need them in your life. So many will tell you how you should handle something, w never walkingrin those shoes. Here's the crazy thing. Two weeks before I got it, I was w a friend who had it and she asked if I'd ever date anyone w it. I said no because of what I'd gone through dating an ex w genital warts and my anxiety. Two weeks later, I got it and felt like I was bring punished for that. But I also no that to not be true what i said deep down. If you take your time and get to know someone, they will see that you are worth it. A man hearing how your story should only be compassionate and empathetic towards you and also feel not so worried, due to never having symptoms and realize for most it really is not a big deal. You'll be OK sweetheart. You just have a lot in your plate right now, dealing w this and the betrayla, so it feels like a death sentence. You can make it through this and I'll hopefully get to witness the day that you come back on here posting how your life has turned out. You're walking w your head tall and are as happy as can be. This day will come for yiu, just give it some time.

Well the last trimester of a pregnancy, they will put you on daily therapy, to minimize the risk of passing it through vaginal birth. Of course she still wants him. She's a broken soul and pregnant w his baby. Sounds Luke she got it from him, cause they'd had her on this earlier since she's at the end of her pregnancy, so it is likely he's slept w other girls too. He may have had it all this time and passed it to you just as of recent. I'm glad yiu don't have to go through the horrific primary outbreak. I spent about 6hrs a day in the tub for two weeks... The itching was as intolerable as the pain. It has spread to my rectum and I've never had anal sex. I remember I could feel this crawly feeling going up my colon and I knew it was the virus.. I still get creepy crawly feelings that arw a tickle itching sensation on my buttock or back of leg for a second. I also sometimes get pins and needles at the base of my tailbone. I feel that's when the virus wants to come out to play.... Errr... Rather wreck havoc. Thank god that the obs don't hurt on meds. I do fear sex will never feel normal for me again and will hurt, as I've never felt normal down there since. I fear it will hurt, my greatest fear isn't telling someone know and being rejected, it is not being able to have a normal sex life w soneone I love and also feeling like I'm likely so spread it to a partner, because I appear to always be active.

So you've never had any symptoms w hind sight be 20/20? Such as itching, redness, bump but no sore?

You're absolutely right about everything you said, also about needing time to heal. I just wish I could turn back the hands of time. But I can't so I just have to live with it and thank God cause it could've been worse. I'm going to try my best to respond to every post also, cause I know for sure the support helps. You're a blessing.

I can tell that you are a beautiful, strong a wonderful mother and all the more reason to feel why does this happrnnto a good person. To be honest, I see the worst always happen to the ones w the biggest and kindness hearts time and time again. Sometimes I have to wonder if it's a universal intention w these people, sort of like creating more wisdom in the kind/passionate heart to spread around and share w others.

I used to want to be an ob/GYN and have so much passion for sex education and spreading awareness... Maybe my calling just came in a different form, as people always tell me I have missed my calling to be a doctor.

I love, love, love that you said that and it goes to show the solid character that yiu are. That shows the strength and compassion in you; all amazing traits to pass on to your children.

Thank you so much

Hi, I wanted to send you a private message but I dont know how. I have always been careful about sex, most of the time I am not active or dating but about a year ago I began dating a guy from college. We live in diff cities and see eachother about once a month for a week or so. We began having sex about 4 months ago and I just found out he has type 1 and 2 herpes. I feel so sick to my stomach knowing this and knowing we had unprotected sex bc im on the pill. He doesnt even know I know. I saw it a link in his emails while doing something for him of his test results from 9/14. He was neg for everything but that.

I'm so scared even though we werent active frequently its still scary to know I was exposed. I'm going to get tested mon morning and pray I am safe.  I need someone to talk to bc Ive been searching everything wrecking my brain and im so scared.