Slipping back quickly

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I have suffered with anxiety for as long as I can remember (I am 24 y/o now) and July 2013 - January 2014 I was seeing a CBT therapist which really helped in so many ways. It helped to calm me down, rationalise things, brought down my anger. But lately (maybe the last 3 months) I feel I have been slowly slipping back to how I used to be. There have been so many secrest within my family (parents, siblings, inlaws etc) that I feel like I am being torn apart. MY anger and frustration is rearing its ugly head more and more again to the point where I nearly came to blows in a supermarket with another customer because she butted in to my conversation with my husband. I have had migranes for the last 6 - 8 weeks, a "friend" who is getting married soo has been causing so many problems. Lying blatently about everything and anything, making stuff up, dumpibg things on me to sort out. Last weekend it was her hen do out and about and aparently while I had gone the toilet in a club 1 or 2 guys (she keeps changin her mind) tried to snog her as she had all the hen do sashed, badges etc on and now she is telling me she wants to go to the police. This has really upset me more than most things. I have been assaulted in the past and for someone to come out with something like that really gets to me. I am crying as I type this. I feel completely lost and don't know what to do. Should I go back to therapy?

Sorry it is a little muddled

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  • Posted

    Definitely go back to CBT even if it's just to recap on certain things, I'm doing the same and going back, and do exercise, sounds like your being used and feeling stuck between a rock and hard place by your friends.

    you can also let your friend know how you are feeling as well as your family, a good councellor would help you but my suggestion is speak to your friend first and be "Assertive" rather than passive or aggressive, just tell her how her behaviour is upsetting you and causing problems. 

    You can tell your friend that if she wants to involve the police that is her decision but not one you particularly support as such you would prefer to stay neutral on it and she will have to deal with any consequences herself. You may also want to consider telling your friend that you are happy to help her out but your migraines are causing you problems as such would she mind not asking you to sort too many things out or at least ask you if your able to sort things out before assuming you will.

    Being more assertive brings lots of benefits including people, family and friends having more respect for you, you look after your own wants, needs and feelings without disrespecting others, it brings a balance and with it defuses tension and anxiety which builds up as is in your case. 

    Find out about assertiveness training courses, you won't regret it.

    You sound like a good, decent person Claire who has the best intentions at heart.


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  • Posted

    ESaragosa - No I don't, I have a bad back which limits my ability to do a lot. I walk into town, which is up and down a hill, when I can but any other exercise is non existant. I would love to go back to Aquafit which I loved but the places are booked within an hour of them becoming available and I am at work when they come out. I have had migranes for 6 - 8 weeks and nothing has been able to take care of them.

    Aspinan - My mum and my husband have told me,not suggested but told me, that I have to go back as they can see that I am going back to the person I was before January and I am glad that there are other people that have noticed a difference and that it is not all in my head.  I would love to do all that you have said but there is a massive factor weighing heavily in all this....... She is getting married in 2 weeks and I am maid of honour / chief bridesmaid. I wouldn't usually be bothered but I have forked out £150 on a bridesmaid dress (she dropped that bombshell at bridal store when paying deposits, 10 minutes after I asked if she needed help paying for my dress to which she said "no i can cover it" 10 minutes earlier). Each time I try being assertive I feel so guilty about whatever it is that is happening and always crumble. 

    Thanks for your help guys x 

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