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I'm not good at talking about my feelings in person but after my last visit to my GP, who spent an extensively long time asking me to make sure I do, I gave it a go.
I'm a bit unsure about what happened next - in that I'm not sure how to feel about it.
I spoke to a friend who does know about my current situation, he knows I was raped, he knows I can't stand physical contact at the moment and he knows how low I have been feeling. This was a good friend of mine, somebody I have known for five years.
After I poured my heart out a bit, he tried to kiss me - I mean full on pounced, I was so shocked! Adding to the fact that this act makes me feel sick to my stomach right now, he has a girlfriend (of six years).
I felt awful, and ran away.
I agreed to meet him the next day, he apologised and said it would never happen again. And I thought that was that.
We then met up again, we've been friends for so long and spend time together a lot, I went round to his house, he asked me to come round and I thought nothing of it but as soon as I got there he was all over me again, it was disgusting and no matter how much I told him I was not interested and felt uncomfortable he didn't seem to listen.
Nothing happened - I'll emphasise that now. But, I'm so confused now, I may be overreacting because of my history but, speaking about my issues has proven again to cause way more trouble than its worth!!!
Professionals aren't always right, so tell me, is it actually helpful or useful at all to talk to friends about things? I usually feel awful when I do anyway, and this seems to have proven that people...are just pure awful.
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