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So confused yet life will go on! Recently diagnosed

Posted , 4 users are following.

justsolucky524
justsolucky524

My experience is this..an encounter with my bf of 2.5 yrs on 5/24 (Tuesday)was rough. We've primarily used condoms throughout our relationship until a few times just in the last month or so. Since the beginning I was tested for everything several times...not knowing EVERYTHING did not always include herpes, thanks doc!! He also had been tested just prior to me and said he was clean...well after the rough encounter I felt very sore down there and when we tried to engage a few days later (Friday) there was definite pain. Thinking it was a yeast infection I rushed to get otc meds and thought it was getting better but oh how I was wrong. Monday and Tuesday it got so much worse and the groin pain was horrible, I felt like all I could do was sleep but even then would wake up in so much pain. Fast forward to Friday June 3 and knew something was so very wrong. I couldn't get an appt with my Ob/gyn so I opted for a clinic. I asked to be tested for everything due to symptoms and they said ok, I even had to state it again after the nurse said "so you want to be tested for everything?" I said yeah so that includes Hsv and she said oh no, you want that too...uhhh yeah what part of everything are we missing...she said well you have to pay for that part and I was like I don't care I just want everything tested. So they did blood testing and were about to send me on my way to call back for results and I'm thinking what about the part of me that's dying now..." Oh did you want to see the doctor", she said...ABSOLUTELY!!! Upon exam the dr said oh my dear I think this could be Hsv and perhaps a very bad primary...immediately I cried and she at least tried to comfort me with info so that helped a little...I dreaded talking with my bf but finally told him and immediately he said "WTF, I'm clean"...well got results and dr says positive exposure via culture and both igg negative for hsv1 and hsv2. She stated as she thought prior that this is very recent and from my bf who probably doesn't even know...when I asked what type she said they didn't know because they didn't test culture for type specific and the blood tests I paid for were type specific but came back negative...now what, is this from my bf? And how can I find out what type?

0 likes, 12 replies

12 Replies

  • J.Z21
    J.Z21 justsolucky524

    Posted

    If your boyfriend has ever had an outbreak similar or an outbreak that was mild perhaps confused for something else then he probably had it and gave it to you. For you to have symptoms and be igg negative I would put my best guess as that you had a recent infection. I went through a similar situation. I had symptoms and had tested for igg during the time and my results came back negative. I tested a few weeks after and came back positive for hsv 1 and equivocal for hsv 2. I would have your bf test for herpes with igg NOT igm. It's horrible that most places don't included herpes testing when you say everything. In addition to some places will probably give you an igm which is unreliable.
    • justsolucky524
      justsolucky524 J.Z21

      Posted

      Thank you for your response. I do also believe its most likely from him and to add to that I asked him how much he paid when he got tested and he said nothing to which I responded well then you didn't get tested for Hsv so now at least he knows that much
    • justsolucky524
      justsolucky524 J.Z21

      Posted

      No I don't recall seeing any outbreaks on him and of course his only response was I'm clean I don't sleep around...well I don't either so what the point of saying that!!! From all I've researched the stigma has people brainwashed and I'm so over it!!! I told him I wasn't about playing the blame game I just have to know and life goes on.
    • J.Z21
      J.Z21 justsolucky524

      Posted

      I mean I'm not sure how that works but I've never had to pay a penny for my STD tests, I just pay my doctor's copay and that's all the insurance deals with that. Try to convince him to take the igg test. I'm not 100% sure but usually a high antibody count means you've had it for a long time and that it's not recent. I could be wrong so take it with a grain of salt. If you have genital symptoms it could be either hsv 1 or 2. You can get hsv 2 even with condoms on. Hsv 1 is a possibility also to affect the genital area. He could have had hsv 1 orally and performed oral on you and spread it to your genitals. If it's any comfort most people who have hsv 2 don't know they have it. I believe I read about 80% who have hsv 2 don't know, they show mild to none symptoms. I think the best course of action is to have your boyfriend get tested and go from there. Then you both should see an infectious disease specialist to educate yourselves on herpes. There is power and comfort in knowledge. P.s. About 50-60% of people have hsv 1. P.s.s. I contracted hsv from someone who did not have any visible symptoms.
    • J.Z21
      J.Z21 justsolucky524

      Posted

      It only takes one wrong person even then most contract it before the age of sex
    • J.Z21
      J.Z21 justsolucky524

      Posted

      It only takes one wrong person even then most contract it before the age of sex
  • FelizCastus
    FelizCastus justsolucky524

    Posted

    If your swab is positive but your IgG both negative, then this is definitely a new infection from your bf, assuming you have been faithful. Ask him if he was tested for herpes. I bet he wasn't. Tell him it's also possible to have it without recognizable symptoms.

    That's so stupid of the clinic to not do a type-specific swab! Type matters, and what a wasted opportunity. To determine type now, you will have to wait 3 months to test for HSV IgG, or wait until your next outbreak and do a proper swab test, whichever is sooner.

    • justsolucky524
      justsolucky524 FelizCastus

      Posted

      Thank you for responding. I've read a lot of your replies and you've been so helpful to many. We just had a more in depth talk about it and it didn't go well, he loves to play the blame game and I don't. No he hadn't been tested for it because he went to a clinic and the clinic charges for it so that's how we figured out he definitely hadn't been tested for Hsv (he hadn't paid anything at all) All he keeps saying is he hasn't had a single symptom at all ever and pretty much avoids me so he will get tested at some point but no I haven't cheated on him. The dr said if I had already had Hsv i would've tested positive in my blood work so my outbreak three weeks ago was in response to my body just being introduced to the virus right at that moment and It would probably show up within the next few weeks
    • FelizCastus
      FelizCastus justsolucky524

      Posted

      Yes, I saw that you said he hadn't tested for herpes in a subsequent post after I had already replied. The bit about being faithful was just to cover all bases in concluding that the infection definitely came from him. Your doctor's explanation is correct, so definitely a new infection and definitely your bf since you haven't strayed.

      I hope your bf will do some reading up on herpes to realise that it can be asymptomatic! Since your doctor frustratingly didn't type the swab, it could be Type 1 from oral sex or Type 2 from intercourse. Both can be carried by an individual and transmitted without recognised symptoms. So, your bf could have it orally or genitally. You won't know which until you find out the type you have, or unless he tests.

      P.S. I'm glad you found my (many) replies on this forum helpful! smile

    • justsolucky524
      justsolucky524 FelizCastus

      Posted

      Thanks 😊 Yes you've been great! I did however just think of another question. Is it possible that an ingrown hair I saw last year was Hsv (even though my bloodwork is negative now) and I didn't think of it or if my ex (child's father) could have given it to me and it just hasn't come up in bloodwork in years. Before my current bf I didn't shave often so the ingrown hair thing down there has always been weird to me lol. My bfs response just has me so shaken (more than the positive Hsv actually) it just makes me second guess any and everything. If there is a way I could message you please let me know as I would greatly appreciate it.
    • FelizCastus
      FelizCastus justsolucky524

      Posted

      No, that scenario is most unlikely. The IgG test for HSV-2 rarely misses cases. However, the IgG test for HSV-1 can, but if it does miss a case, it is likely to always miss detection in that individual. Based on what you've said, I am confident that this is a new infection from your current bf.

      I'm sorry he is not being nicer about matters, especially when he is the one who passed it on to you! Maybe he'll come around after the initial shock and when he tests himself. If he tries to blame you, you can point to your two tests, which prove this is newly acquired, and assure him you have not strayed.

      Regarding messaging, this site supports private messaging, so feel free to send me a PM. smile

  • ashlyn26137
    ashlyn26137 justsolucky524

    Posted

    Similar story happened with me and my ex, either they lie that they don't have it or don't even know or they may not have it, when I told my ex I was being straight up front about it and told him even asked if he wanted to be together still he said yes, but he started to ignore me turns out he cheated so be careful if you're still going to still be with your bf mine acted the same way pretty much. Does it feel like bugs are crawling down there? If so I'd think it's type 2 because that's the type I have but I'm not sure.

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