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so depressed :(

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helen73p
helen73p

hi ladies , i am so depressed today i have spent most of it in tears , i just cant cope emotionally anymore , im 7 weeks 2 days post anterior repair , still have a bulge/lump n still have some throbbing and i cant believe i have a rectocele, its totally getting me down , they said when i got my anterior repair they left it as it was minimal but i can see it/feel it , i just cant for the life of me understand why this wasnt fixed, how can they say minimal if i can see it, i have had this for some time as i went to docs about it when i was pregnant and was told nothing to worry about , i have become totally obsessed with my vagina to the point its becoming a problem , everytime i go to bathroom im looking n feeling , i look and feel awful sad and it getting me more and more depressed , i cant go through another operation so soon not with a 10 month old daughter to look after , i have been doing my pelvic floor excersises but can only hold for few seconds , doctor said the bulge bit is where ive been stitched but it seems to come down low i dont know why it would do that, surely if its stitched it would stay up high as its been fixed , i feel worse now than i did when i had the cystocele , how can i stop being so obsessed sad x

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  • Jan999
    Jan999 helen73p

    Posted

    Oh helen I am so sorry you feel like this. I do agree with your doctor that what you feel is the stitching but this isn't going to convince you. Can you see your surgeon? He's the expert. 

    Have you had a recent blood test because some of your symptoms are typical of an under active thyroid gland or anaemia? 😘😘

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    • helen73p
      helen73p Jan999

      Posted

      Thanks matron , I've had full bloods done twice since February also had the jax 2 blood test but all came back clear , emotionally I just can't handle the thought I have another prolapse it's really getting me down , I presumed all would be fixed during repair , matron I don't even know who my surgeon was I was given no names/info , is this my life now constantly stressed n emotional because of my pop , scared to carry my daughter or to bend or cough the wrong way incase the cystocele comes back or the constant worry the rectocele will get worse sad I am a total wreck just now xx
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    • welshgirl67
      welshgirl67 Jan999

      Posted

      Oh sweetheart I'm feeling your pain. Please hun go back to the surgeon

      He is the expert hun.I agree with you,why did he not repair it.I was obsessed with my vag for months.it does pass. Xxxxx

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    • Jan999
      Jan999 helen73p

      Posted

      helen you will have had a named consultant. Can you not ring one of the secretary's at the hospital and ask who it was then see if you can have a post op appointment? xx
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  • JoolsB
    JoolsB helen73p

    Posted

    Make an appointment with a female doctor or practice nurse at your surgery and tell them how you are feeling. You shouldn't need to feel so sad and miserable - seek help. These feelings will pass though, I am sure everyone in this Forum have had days feeling like you do - I certainly did - but it will pass as you begin to get stronger. But you dont need to suffer alone - ring your surgery first thing tomorrow. Good luck.
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  • phyl_40063
    phyl_40063 helen73p

    Posted

    Have empathy for you Helen, I felt right down around week 4, I think it was, and took it out on poor hubby who is doing his best to help . I went through a really bitter time. wish I had done things different and it's all his fault he planted the seeds that caused all the births and had a rant about being in weight bearing job and having to do all those extra shifts all winter (I did plead with him to get temporary employment during winter months, he is a window cleaner and had a bad year last year). Wished I had more info when younger and had taken advice and done all those pelvic floor exercises when I should have.

    Was really tearful for a day or so.

    But it did pass and went from extreme low to extreme high. Thought my menopause was reversing and was going to start periods again , that the only good thing about menopause is no more periods!

    Lots of hugs , look after yourself and take it easy!

    Phyl xx

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  • marian98969
    marian98969 helen73p

    Posted

    Make an appointment to speak to someone, you sound so down, hope you feeling better soon. Take care xx
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  • helen73p
    helen73p

    Posted

    thanks everyone im feeling a bit better today , have made appointment to gosee my doctor..xx
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