So Depressed with crazy thoughts!!!

Hi lisad

Sounds like he's the one who needs help.

You need to go and see your gp for yourself. Tell your gp exactly what you've said here. If you don't feel able to tell him/her, just show him/her what you've written here. I find it much easier to write down what I want to say. You may find a course of anti depressants will help you get back on your feet. You will feel so much better and stronger and have the strength and confidence to alter this toxic relationship.

Youve done your best to help him, so don't feel guilty. He's passing his guilt onto you. He's worn you down to such an extent, that your depressed and suffering from anxiety

Hes a bully who is abusing you both mentally and physically. He knows he can control and get round you. Tell him you're not prepared to live (as you say exist) like this. Give him an ultimatum, either he changes or you go and put some space between you.

The more you put up with, the more he'll make your life a misery. I bet you're lonely and have no one to talk to as he's cut you off from friends/family. You need to find yourself again, and it may well be anti depressants which will help you achieve this.

For your own sake, try and get this sorted by talking to your gp. Tell this bloke you aren't prepared to put up with his behaviour anymore.

You sound like he's worn you down, bullies do this as it gives them power and control over you.

Please keep posting and asking for help. I'm sure you will get a lot more replies

Hi Lisad - sorry to read of your terrible situation. The first thing you need to do is to get out of there. Today. Seek a womans shelter or some organisation which will get you away from your abuser. You have become entrenched in a lifestyle and it will take time, perserverence and help to get you out of that damaging routine. But you will need to make your mind up and stick to it. No taking him back. No bending to his will. No rose-coloured reflections of how sometimes he was nice to you. Get out now. Do it for your own health, sanity and future.

You also need to consult a doctor about the depression, meds may be required. Also ask for a referral to a psychologist/counsellor/therapist to help you regain some perspective and learn how to deal with a new beginning. 

Get yourself out of there and into a women's hostel, if you are being beaten it will never stop, go to citizens advice,they will help,and see your GP, do it now today, this relationship is not going to change, get out now and if he is violent don't tell him just do it, citizens advice as soon as it opens, you have to put your safety first,,let us know how you get on ,

Good advice from the other posts.

Yes get out while you can. Don't tell him you're leaving just go. CBT ( cognitive behavioural therapy ) has very good results. I doubt very much he'll change.

I agree with Wayne, that if you leave, don't let him back in your life. He's toxic and this will only get worse.

Please think of yourself first, you don't owe him anything 

YES get out save yourself.