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So hopeless :(

Posted , 5 users are following.

ronnie27968
ronnie27968

Hi,

I haven't written here in a while... thought things were getting better and I was near the end of this horrible so called anxiety.

I just feel so awfully hopeless...

Nothing makes me feel better when I am in a bad and depressed mood, I juat feel like this is what my life is going to look like forever, this is what I am going to have to live with for the rest of my life. And that is just plain depressing.

I miss having a normal life, I would give anything to go back a year from now and be myself again. 

My life has been such a hectic ride for the past six months. Everyday is a battle, a fight against anxiety, against calling my mom or dad and making them come pick me up from wherever I am. 

I have SO many things on my mind; in less than two weeks, I have a class trip for five days, far from home, and I have to go and I am so terrified. In less than a month, I am going on a ski vacation with my family for a week and I have many mixed feelings about that, but the one that stands out the most is ANXIETY. In a month, I have a play I have to participate in, I am so scared and anxious about that, how the hell am I supposed to stand on a stage in front of hundreds of people in my condition?!

And, tomorrow and for the rest of the year, once a week, I have to volunteer in a kindergarten and kind of chaporone the kids, which is also scary for me.

Bottom line is: So many things on my mind and way to anxious to cope with everything...

I go to therapy and a, not on any kind of strong medication...

I miss my old life..

Will this ever end?!

Thank you for reading this smile

When will this end?

 

0 likes, 8 replies

8 Replies

  • katie2705
    katie2705 ronnie27968

    Posted

    It's all about mind over matter! YOU are in control of your thoughts and feelings not your anxiety! Don't let it beat you! Beat it instead. Once you learn more about it you become less afraid of it, like anything really. You can do this.
  • punk
    punk ronnie27968

    Posted

    I feel the same way. I want the uneasyness to go, wish I don't think this much and I can trade anything to get my old days back. But that is past.

    Present is I'm not feeling well and there's a reason behind it-anxiety and/or depression. The road to recovery is bumpy but that's our best bet. Irrespective of what our negative emotions make us feel, we must try walking in that direction.

    Take care

    • Guest
      Guest punk

      Posted

      you seem like you're doing well with anxiety. 

      how did you manage that?

    • Guest
      Guest

      Posted

      hey man, i cant see your messages, can you PM them to me?

      cheers

  • michaelall35712
    michaelall35712 ronnie27968

    Posted

    Try not to per se, put all your eggs in one basket.  Focus on something else when your overwhelming yourself with all the upcoming things.  Take it day by day.  You can not predict how your going to feel during those events, you just may a lot of fun skiing and being with family.  I am going to make a little joke here. But can you predict the future?  See this is what our anxiety thoughts do to us.  We try to live in the past or the future, and forget about the present.  Look up MINDFULLNESS.  It teaches us to live in the hear and now, not the past or the future.  Hope this helps. 
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