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I haven't written here in a while... thought things were getting better and I was near the end of this horrible so called anxiety.
I just feel so awfully hopeless...
Nothing makes me feel better when I am in a bad and depressed mood, I juat feel like this is what my life is going to look like forever, this is what I am going to have to live with for the rest of my life. And that is just plain depressing.
I miss having a normal life, I would give anything to go back a year from now and be myself again.
My life has been such a hectic ride for the past six months. Everyday is a battle, a fight against anxiety, against calling my mom or dad and making them come pick me up from wherever I am.
I have SO many things on my mind; in less than two weeks, I have a class trip for five days, far from home, and I have to go and I am so terrified. In less than a month, I am going on a ski vacation with my family for a week and I have many mixed feelings about that, but the one that stands out the most is ANXIETY. In a month, I have a play I have to participate in, I am so scared and anxious about that, how the hell am I supposed to stand on a stage in front of hundreds of people in my condition?!
And, tomorrow and for the rest of the year, once a week, I have to volunteer in a kindergarten and kind of chaporone the kids, which is also scary for me.
Bottom line is: So many things on my mind and way to anxious to cope with everything...
I go to therapy and a, not on any kind of strong medication...
I miss my old life..
Will this ever end?!
Thank you for reading this
When will this end?
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