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Ive been struggling with anxiety and depression for a number of yrs. Things came to a head last Year and after several months and with Gp's support I moved out on my own, which was a massive undertaking for me as I am terrified of being alone. It was bad and hard and felt I did not do a good job of looking after myself. 3 months later, my trusted and amazingly supportive GP went off for 3 months with sickness. During this time I plumeted fast as I was without support that Id had until that point. The mh team have been useless. Ive been getting worse every month, leading up to christmas and now.
I have just moved out of the place I had as it was small and dark and so depressing. I spent a lot of time alone.... ive been seeing my mum more and moved to this new place 11 miles away. Mr dr is due back and im panicking massively as I dont want to lose my gp cuz if moving.
When I went to sign the lease I was excited but standing there, waves of anxiety came over me, then tears, the heaving panic attacks. This has lasted all weekend - deep despair, crushing sadness..i cant live there..its scary alone..it feels forever, ill be alone forever, what about my gp.. all of it..its just too much my head cant cope my anxiety is horrendous..like when I moved last time but this time I dont have the supportive gp. The only thing helping is telling myself I can come back in 6 months..its all so unfamiliar- and telling myself I can visit my mum lots. Dr said moving out would improve things but i feel the aloneness has made it all so bad and worse.
My despair and anxiety is heaving when I wake up..i cant bare it. Do depressed that I can barely eat or move.
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