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So hopeless

Posted , 4 users are following.

k8861
k8861

Ive been struggling with anxiety and depression for a number of yrs. Things came to a head last Year and after several months and with Gp's support I moved out on my own, which was a massive undertaking for me as I am terrified of being alone. It was bad and hard and felt I did not do a good job of looking after myself. 3 months later, my trusted and amazingly supportive GP went off for 3 months with sickness. During this time I plumeted fast as I was without support that Id had until that point. The mh team have been useless. Ive been getting worse every month, leading up to christmas and now.

I have just moved out of the place I had as it was small and dark and so depressing. I spent a lot of time alone.... ive been seeing my mum more and moved to this new place 11 miles away. Mr dr is due back and im panicking massively as I dont want to lose my gp cuz if moving.

When I went to sign the lease I was excited but standing there, waves of anxiety came over me, then tears, the heaving panic attacks. This has lasted all weekend - deep despair, crushing sadness..i cant live there..its scary alone..it feels forever, ill be alone forever, what about my gp.. all of it..its just too much my head cant cope my anxiety is horrendous..like when I moved last time but this time I dont have the supportive gp. The only thing helping is telling myself I can come back in 6 months..its all so unfamiliar- and telling myself I can visit my mum lots. Dr said moving out would improve things but i feel the aloneness has made it all so bad and worse.

My despair and anxiety is heaving when I wake up..i cant bare it. Do depressed that I can barely eat or move.

1 like, 4 replies

4 Replies

  • Adldiane
    Adldiane k8861

    Posted

    Hello there so do you know what is so scary about being alone? What are you afraid will happen to you if you sign the lease and move in? Can you tell me? Diane 
    • k8861
      k8861 Adldiane

      Posted

      Of loneliness, feeling empty, completely alone in the world, the silence and the feelings of this being forever, forever alone. I know it sounds odd but it can make me feel so trapped, sad and hopeless. Terrifies me..
  • Adldiane
    Adldiane k8861

    Posted

    I hear you I hear your pain. Do you remember when it started what was going on in your life when you started feeling like this?
  • borderriever
    borderriever k8861

    Posted

    We moved from our old home of over thirty years and I had a great deal of support from My GP and Partners. I now live over forty miles away from that practice and yes it does take an long time to become settled in a new practice. However I live with the change and am beginning to get used to new faces, yes I will never get the understanding of my condition understood as well although the support I have had has been very good.

    My problem I am getting older, a Pensioner although I did a great deal of research on the GP Special interests throughout the Practice. Now I do not choose one doctor I go for several in practice who have different interests therefore the treatment I get is the best in Practice.

    What I would recommend is yes, changing Surgery is a real pain. I would advise you look on NHS CHOICES and look up the various practices in your area. Choose the practice with those GPs that have interests in your health concerns and go to that practice. You can also check on what the patients think of the practice and that should also help you choose well.

    If you feel the new practice is not suitable change to another one. Although try not to change to much

    BOB

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