so lonely

Posted , 3 users are following.

Please help. I've suffered from PSTD 3 times in my life now. I 'block out' a traumatic event(s) and only remember/ relive episodes months or years later. My family has left me alone ve never believed that any of my past experiences even happened and its left me alone and isolated - being branded 'deluded'. its a living hell and i'm really lonely. I've lost everything to PTSD and OCD 3 times in my life now. I'm scared I can't see a way out of this anymore.

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  • Posted

    Hi Sarah,

    you seem perfectly coherent to me, so I don't think you're deluded.

    there is a way through I promise.

    the fact that you block trauma out suggests that your defences work a bit too efficiently.

    have you ever had any type of therapy?

    xxx

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    • Posted

      Hi helen, Thank you for your response. I've had councilling recently but my memories hadn't even begun to surface at that point and I was still dwelling on a previous 'shock' episode and working through that one. I have a good MHT at the moment, nice people who seem to believe I am in fact suffering from PTSD and now OCD. I'm so pleased they've reassessed the previous dianoses of bipolar, but my family do not take anything I say seriously after my first episode/incident over 15 years ago.  I can CBT - I'm delighted, as I am now 'ready' to talk. Just feel so ashamed of my illness and the effects it sometimes causes.
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    • Posted

      Hi Sarah,

      How're you today?

      I was pleased to read that you have a good team around you and are getting some support....You're clearly a really good person, so try not to let your condition define you too much. I know that when i was really bad with depression and anxiety, it felt like I was just 100% the condition. I had to keep reminding myself that it was just something that had happened to me - not who I am, if that makes sense. You're still you with or without your awful condition. Thinking of you H x

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  • Posted

    Hi-

    I know all too well the feelings of overwhelming reoccurring nonstop memories of negative events in my life or really in my opinion, poor decisions I've made and how ashamed i feel and they just resurface and recycle so quickly and I can't keep up with them. Needless to say I can't focus or get anything done ( I said it anyway ), growing up I've always had very good friends and my isolation- complete apathy and really fear of taking action going outside or being in public? has come to the point where I am alone and that really sucks...

    I try not to think about it as best I can and just talking about it now kind of brings up some shhittie feelings. * Why do I assume I already know the outcome of a situation or why do I assume I know what other people are thinking when they probably don't even notice me ? While I focus so hard on this instead of letting go and just doing it ? I can't keep talking about this it's giving me a freaking anxiety attack right now ....

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