So so fed up feel helpless

Posted , 9 users are following.

Hi ladies

I'm sure some of you know me I've been on these forums for a number of years

So I was in peri for ten years and went through absolute hell every symptom there was to have I had it

Fast forward I'm now officially in menopause gone over a year with no period!!

I thought this would be me starting to feel a little better maybe but NO!!!

Although the hot flushes don't seem so bad which is weird I'm suddenly getting urine infections sooo painful my anxiety is back although it didn't really leave but seems to be as pad as in my first peri years as for stomach issues well they never really went but eased a little

I'm on antibiotics for auto and I feel totally miserable

I know that when you enter full menopause it's not a magic wand but didn't expect to feel as bad as I do and the pelvic pain and sore boobs is back

Not had that for as long as I can remember

I feel like I'm sitting on hot coals my privates feel swollen and sore

I'm beginning to lose hope as to will this ever end

I've started to feel really negative again just when i thought I had that under control

I keep thinking is this my life from now on!!!! I'm praying not

The uti has definitely got me down I just keep thinking will I keep getting these

I don't want to do HRT breast cancer in the family

It's like i evened out a little now I'm back in the uphill struggle

Really tired of fighting this I just don't know if or when I will feel better

Can anyone relate sorry for the moan but I know you ladies are wonderful

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14 Replies

  • Posted


    Sorry to hear you are feeling bad again. Yes absolutely can relate I am also post meno about a year give or take ( had hysterectomy aged 29 now 51 so guessing from symptoms only). I am fortunate in anxiety seems to have gone now only left with flushes,sweats odd bouts of nausea and headaches and dizziness, I to am sick and tired of this but take heart that symptoms are gone and the remaining ones are no where near as bad. My lovely mum assures me it will get easier it just takes a while, her words it wears you down and gets you down but you come out a better person. I know uti can be a problem for some post meno ladies usually due to drying and weakening muscles but keep drinking shed loads of water and hopefully they will be few and far between .A few years back I suffered terrible breast pain due to cysts the oncologist recommended evening primrose oil, I don't know whether that's any good for you? You have done well to get this far I hope this is just a little wobble for you and nothing else, when I get despondent mainly on a bad sweat day getting so frustrated not really knowing how far into meno I am I think back to this time last year and think yer definitely better than I was,sorry for waffling on take care x

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  • Posted

    I am about one and a half or two years in menopause (had bouts of bleeding and all the biopsies that come with that). I have for the first time xperienced anxiety, and weird symptoms. ll I ever had were the hot flashes, which are still here, mainly after waking up. I no onger know what is related and what is not. but I totally quit drinking any alcohol, which I probably overdid, perhaps it kept me calmer, but when I stopped anxiety set in. Now I am on a very low dose of xanax once a day (0.5 mg) which my dr promised me is not a lot and not awful at all. I feel horrible that I need to take it but I do and it does help. I am reading a book now on cognitive behavioral therapy, to self help and in a few weeks will go to a therapist. I would like to be "Okay" without taking anything... I was naive because I had no idea that many people take something, thought it was only me. Now I hear differently. I would suggest you speak to a therapist perhaps it will help. Or to your dr as I did. Best wishes.

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  • Posted

    Good morning Michelle.

    my story is a bit different to yours, I had a total hysterectomy at 42 because of Endometriosis and ovarian cysts on both ovaries. Was put on HRT straight away that was 15 years ago. After 10 years I take one every other day. All was fine up until a year ago when health Anxiety kicked, I was crying all the time, palpitations, hot and cold sweats, feeling nauseous and dizzy 24/7 I was put on beta blockers to lower my heart rate but I was passing out because it went to low, so had to come off them. Had full bloods done and 2 came back high, had them done 2 weeks later and they had lowered. I was a complete wreck, I got so low in February that I asked to be put on a low dose of antidepressants because I wanted my mind and body to have a rest from it all, iv been on them 5 months and they have helped me calm down. But this last week iv had loads of headaches, behind my left eye, tummy pains, feeling nauseous tingling sensation in hands and legs, needing to pee a lot, now I'm thinking all sorts again,

    but iv got a stressful week coming up nx week, going to see how I feel, if no better it's going to have to be another doctors visit. 

    Ano how your feeling, it's not like having a cold and after a few days you feel better, 

    im fed up with feeling poorly too, hope you take a bit of comfort that your not on your own x

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  • Posted

    Hello Michelle,

      I don't know if this will help you or not.  But thought I might pass along some uderstanding that I learned from an endocrinologist who specializes in menopausal issues.  

    Our sex steriods are a secondary hormone system, yet they effect all of our major hormomes in the body.  When a women goes into menopause, the loss of these effect every single system in our bodies.  Our adrenal glands jump in, attempting to help with the shortage of these chemicals.  Our insulin is altered because estradiol helps to get insulin in and out of cells.  Our thyroid often goes wacky because of it's relationship with estradiol also. And then of course, there are the organs and tissues in our bodies that use and rely on estrogen and progesterone to keep things moist and functioning well. 

      This is a major change for our bodies, in every way imaginable.  Just as puberty was.  After having this fully running system from our teens to our 50s, the adjustment can be very difficult.  We feel it in every cells of our minds and body.  

       Don't know that this helps you, but sometimes intellectually understanding the issues can, at the very least, help us cope withall the changes.  

    Wishing you well, and I'm sorry this change is so darn difficult.   

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    • Posted


      Have you ever read up on bio identical hormones or talked to a qualified doctor about them? I hear what you are saying about breast cancer running in your family. Synthetic hormones have been known culprits for causing women problems when they try to use them especially for long periods of time. Bio Identical hormones actually offer protection especially with the estrogen called ESTRIOL, the safest estrogen of the three main ones we have. This could help you very much if you get with a qualified dr. and the right amounts especially for your UTI's. I think many women feel once they get to full menapause its over. All their symptoms disappear. I dont' think its thats simple. Our bodies are still lacking key hormones that kept things running right. Mainly estorgen and progesterone but testosterone too. The thinning of the vaginal walls opens up a whole lot of problems in women, lack of lubrication for intimacy, pain and soreness as you described feeling like your sitting on a bed of coals and then the reoccuring UTI's. The thinning causes less of a barrier by our bladder that through our whole life keeps us free from harmful bacteria. Part of the reason why so many women suffer from constant UTI"s. Add antibiotics to the picture which are no good for us at all because they knock out our good bacteria at the same time. Then eventually the antibiotics don't work. Not good but reality for so many women suffering out there. I think you might be surprised the benefits bio identical have for us. The scare about HRT is real but it is generally from synthetic forms used. Many women don't know what goes in synthetic estorgens .Pregnant mare urine. No wonder so many women have gotten sick or had problmes taking it. I feel for you and your discomfort. I have been in full menapause for over two years myself and on bio identical estrodial, estriol, testosterone and OTC progesterone for almost two years. I feel I have avoided all this unnecesarry pain and suffering and detterioration that us women go through at this time. Try a consulatation with a holistic dr that knows their stuff, I think you will be surprised. Good Luck

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    • Posted

      I live in the US and our insurance doesn't cover it either. Once established with what you need it is very resonable to feel well. Its all a matter of what is important in life. For me staying healthy and happy plays a huge role in my life as I go forward so spending the extra money to feel good has been worth its weight in gold to me. I know for many people if things are not covered by insurance they don't want to do it. Not sure what expensive is but here in the states it cost me 50.00 for two and half months from a compounding pharmacy. Would be nice if all these things were covered I agree. Gets back individual symptoms and choices we have to make in life. Hope you get to feeling better. 

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    • Posted

      Wow that's much cheaper than here

      We have to pay for a private consultation which is hundreds and then treatment which is also expensive but I will defo look into it again

      Thank you x

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    • Posted


      I had a similar experience with Peri now in menopause a lot of symptoms have settled down except for anxiety insomnia and hot flushes. My gastro doctor prescribed endep low dosage 10mg at night. This helps me sleep and helped with my stomach issues plus headaches. Exercise lots of water and good diet and reading novels are good for shift of focus. You will get to the other side. Cheers Jane

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  • Posted

    Hi Michelle

    I hope all of these ladies nice responses are making you feel better. I know it did me reading through all of them. This forum has been a life saver for me. And I mean that seriously when I am in the pits of anxiety and depression. I also get so tired of constantly fighting it. I had a bad several months and then I had a couple of good months and now getting bad again. As always the health anxiety is the worst symptom for me. Sore boobs are one for me too. I have only been in Peri maybe a year and a half. I wish I had words of wisdom for you, but all I got is prayers. I'll keep you in mine. ((Hugs))

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