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Social Phobia, please help.

Posted , 4 users are following.

kurt68150
kurt68150

Hi all,

My social phobia causes me to stutter. I have hardly no friends and have been told by someone at work that I am socially inapt. I am 41 years old and have had nothing good come from this. I have done a lot of research on social phobia but nothing really helps. Talking on the phone in front of others is absolute hell for me,because my stutter becomes constant and I feel those around me are laughing at me when I leave the room.

I have been through 2 marriages and now wonder if its all because of my social phobia. I know that its difficult for those close to you to understand what youre going through, but socialising is very,very difficult and I prefer to be around people who are close to me like family, obviously feel relaxed around them.

I have also had to turn down well paying jobs because of the numerous meetings which I would have to attend, which really spikes the anxiety.

I often feel that people think Im dumb because I dont comment in discussions. Its not that I dont want to but I become anxious and feel that I will stutter, which causes me to stay silent.

When I speak one to one with no one else around I dont stutter.

Can anyone help with this problem ?

 

0 likes, 10 replies

10 Replies

  • tess33005
    tess33005 kurt68150

    Posted

    I can!

    My daughter suffered badly with social phobia from age 18 through 33.

    She was in a worse state than you, as she couldn't even face going on a bus, never mind going to University or getting a job.

    She couldn't attend therapy sessions because she didn't know the therapist, so that would have been WAY too scary.

    I truly hope that people are not laughing at you behind your back. I'd like to see your workmates go through what you go through on a daily basis and then see if they laugh. Nasty people.

    I think you're extremely brave even to have a job.

    In fact, I think yourre extremely brave to go through life with this awful problem.

    Have you considered lessons for stutterers? Have you considered CBT?

    Do write and let me know how you're getting on.

    By the way, my daughter was cured like this. Her brother was Assistant Manager at a pub. He went to his Area Manager and explained his sister's problem. He persuaded the Area Manager to let his sister have a couple of shifts at the pub and promised he'd be on duty at the same time. The Area Manager agreed. Now all my son had to do was persuade his sister to do the shifts. Finally, she agreed, but said she'd probably get there an run away.

    The first two shifts were very, very difficult for her, but she (just about) managed.

    Slowly she was able to take shifts when her brother WASN'T there.

    The rest is history. She has lost her social phobia completely, and has had two promotions since she started the job. Her next plan is to train as a nutritionist.

    She's flying!

    I hope this helps a little, Kurt.

    love Tess xxxxxx

    • kurt68150
      kurt68150 tess33005

      Posted

      Hi Tess

      Thank you so much for your interest and concern.

      Much appreciated.

      Kurt

  • tess33005
    tess33005 kurt68150

    Posted

    Also, I just heard today about an ear devide which helps and cures stutterers. It was on someone else's thread. Google it!

    Keep strong, Kurt.

    Lots of love from Tess xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  • tess33005
    tess33005 kurt68150

    Posted

    I meant an ear device lol

    Can you imagine dividing your ears ha ha ha?

    Tess xx

    • kurt68150
      kurt68150 tess33005

      Posted

      Hi Tess

      I googled the ear device and cant imagine how it works. I know it provides some kind of an echo for you to hear, but if this can actually work, it'll change so many lives.

      Really appreciate all the help.

      Thanks 

      Kurt

  • phil76209
    phil76209 kurt68150

    Posted

    Hi Kurt,

    Although I don't have a stammer I do suffer from social anxiety. Goes way back to childhood.

    I also clam up and stay quiet in social situations and I think people think of me as boring and it kills me when I want to join in but can't.

    I'm still not sure how I'm gonna sort the group thing out but at 42 I'm still searching.

    I was watching the kings speech for first time on tv last night. Loved it. Very inspiring.

    Sounds like your getting lots of good advice here.

    I wish you well

    Phil

    • kurt68150
      kurt68150 phil76209

      Posted

      Hi Phil

      I understand exactly, its the worst feeling in the world to want to join in the conversation but clam up like you say. I always feel that people think Im stupid. Its the worst.

      Thank you for your response and best of luck.

      Kurt

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