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Hello I'm a 22 year old male . My girlfriend of four years left me about 2 months ago while abroad travelling on the phone this destroyed me and took me to a dark place where I was suffering from heavy depression and anxeity .she returned from her travelling and began ringing me this was about 3 weeks after she ended it ,bear in mind I had not seen her in nearly 3 months . At this time I was starting to re gain slightly myself and met someone new not serious but just to try to keep my head above the water as I felt completely worthless . My ex came back to me to get her stuff and hated the fact that I met someone else which I couldn't really understand as this girl went so cold hearted on me like I never existed. Anyway we started meeting again which was the worse mistake of my life because it reminded me of what we had together or used too . She became very confused started to tell me she need space and she was using me for sex . I gave her the space she needed and her verdict was she no longer wanted me like that anymore . This completely broke me down worse than before , she began to text me a week later saying she's lonely etc (p*ssed up ). Anyway I've been advised to completely shut the door on this girl which is proven to be the hardest thing I've ever had to come to terms with and are struggling deeply each day. I've blocked her from every form of social media and all phones that I own . I love this girl so much but hey. I have let myself go down hill I've tried my best to keep myself happy but I cannot I wake up with attacks which I can only describe as waves of severe unhappiness . I just seem to getting worse . I feel so lonely and the only person that makes me happy ATM is her the girl I've had to shut out for the best . I seen my doc they gave me 20 mg of cita, I've been taking for 2 weeks now . Doesn't seem to be working I'm getting worse I wake up a lot and it physically hurts when I do , I feel worthless, lost and lonely I live alone but used to live with her . It's all just to much to deal with , I recently crashed my car with has added to my strain . I just don't know how to get myself out of were I am . I meet new girls all they wanna do is jump in bed with me , you would think this would regain my confidence . I has the opposite affect , I'm not interested and have no sex drive what so ever . I just do t feel like a man anymore I feel lack of male hormones etc .i don't see future , and every time I think if her I feel waves of depression hit me . I'm currently not working as my boss said I'm not 100% well clearly not ! This is not me 4 months ago I was a happy lad , now I just feel like a zombie . Lost in life , sorry for the details but I feel it's important to inform of my situation , I've lost all interest in everything . I just don't know where to turn I cannot talk to males friends, and family help and do there best but they can only do soo much . Thanks for your time
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