Some sort of guidance please

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Hello I'm a 22 year old male . My girlfriend of four years left me about 2 months ago while abroad travelling on the phone this destroyed me and took me to a dark place where I was suffering from heavy depression and anxeity .she returned from her travelling and began ringing me this was about 3 weeks after she ended it ,bear in mind I had not seen her in nearly 3 months . At this time I was starting to re gain slightly myself and met someone new not serious but just to try to keep my head above the water as I felt completely worthless . My ex came back to me to get her stuff and hated the fact that I met someone else which I couldn't really understand as this girl went so cold hearted on me like I never existed. Anyway we started meeting again which was the worse mistake of my life because it reminded me of what we had together or used too . She became very confused started to tell me she need space and she was using me for sex . I gave her the space she needed and her verdict was she no longer wanted me like that anymore . This completely broke me down worse than before , she began to text me a week later saying she's lonely etc (p*ssed up ). Anyway I've been advised to completely shut the door on this girl which is proven to be the hardest thing I've ever had to come to terms with and are struggling deeply each day. I've blocked her from every form of social media and all phones that I own . I love this girl so much but hey. I have let myself go down hill I've tried my best to keep myself happy but I cannot I wake up with attacks which I can only describe as waves of severe unhappiness . I just seem to getting worse . I feel so lonely and the only person that makes me happy ATM is her the girl I've had to shut out for the best . I seen my doc they gave me 20 mg of cita, I've been taking for 2 weeks now . Doesn't seem to be working I'm getting worse I wake up a lot and it physically hurts when I do , I feel worthless, lost and lonely I live alone but used to live with her . It's all just to much to deal with , I recently crashed my car with has added to my strain . I just don't know how to get myself out of were I am . I meet new girls all they wanna do is jump in bed with me , you would think this would regain my confidence . I has the opposite affect , I'm not interested and have no sex drive what so ever . I just do t feel like a man anymore I feel lack of male hormones etc .i don't see future , and every time I think if her I feel waves of depression hit me . I'm currently not working as my boss said I'm not 100% well clearly not ! This is not me 4 months ago I was a happy lad , now I just feel like a zombie . Lost in life , sorry for the details but I feel it's important to inform of my situation , I've lost all interest in everything . I just don't know where to turn I cannot talk to males friends, and family help and do there best but they can only do soo much . Thanks for your time 


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  • Posted

     I am sorry for your situation.

     But hey, I have learned alot with relationships and depression.

    Think yourself lucky no children are involved, because i feel a let down.

    bugger women or men they either take me how I am or get lost.

    My children are the most important, but I can only be good to them if I am me there dad.

     I have cried my heart out over girls at your age, but i have learned so much over the years.

    Being lonely can be horrible, but sometimes i love it less stress.

    I cannot fully comment because all i know is my wife caused me anxiety aswel because she had a temper, which is not good when you have children and i am trying to get well.

    it's really obvious you love the girl, but now you feel so low try Your best to get your head straight, you have years ahead of you and i wish i got sorted earlier with medication, it was not until i was in my mid thirties.

    try speaking to a councillor, I find I can talk to people better who are not close friends or family, and remember there are thousands of people having relationship issues.

    When children are involved it's heart breaking.

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    • Posted

      Thankyou . 

      Yes sometimes I wish I was older and wiser to life and understood things more clearly. But at the moment everything is so fresh and I've been though he'll this summer. It's just nice to have someone there for you that you love . Now that's vanished it's hard to cope and see light at the end.

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  • Posted

    Hi lee

    Firstly you seem like a caring nice lad, so heads up to that. If she was your longest relationship than of course your feeling like this. Trust me I've been there yeah it's hard but keep yourself motivated force yourself to do things that "makes YOU happy" 

    Whether it's little things like drawing, seeing friends have alaugh, walk your dog if u got one, could be anything. 

    After awhile u just forget but it's a good forget if u get me, if someone mentions her it's ok it won't bring u down. She went travelling done something she wanted to do, use that she left u to be happy, u do the same. The word "happy" Inspires me cod everyone wants it. I find it keeps me going. 

    Your 22 live your life don't waste it. A new chapter has started make the most of it. U only get one life. Make more memories! 

    Here if u need me, off work for a week so I'm bored but keeping active. 

    Laura x

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    • Posted

      Thanks Laura . Any Idea on the length of time that takes ?

      its mad it like the only love I feel for anything is her so I still have love inside me just for the wrong reasons ATM . I do try to do thing to keep me occupied but the feeling of depression and that fact that my head believes I will never find a girl like her ruins anytime I try to enjoy. Yes she was my longest relationship that's the hard bit all memories are with her . She was good to me but it's amazing how much a person can change when they no longer love you . I told her to go travelling and ecouraged it I would never stop a girl from doing what they wanted to , the way I look at things are if she's gonna leave she will leave u know . Thanks enjoy your week off. Lew

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    • Posted

      I too was in along relationship, met from school so about 15, was together 7 years on and off but I was ended it with him, we both was our first love, but we just grew apart, it was hard to walk away but we both had our friends and busy with college. Just our lives in general. I still have a box of all our memories pictures, Valentine's cards, teddies even my engagement ring. 

      You just get by it takes time. Can't remember how long cod I was busy. Funny thing about it is james who I'm with now went to the same school, never spoke once I knew who he was. Different classes. Met on Facebook got talking went on our first date to see twilight and been together now 8/9 years. Engaged got our own place. I too thought I'll never meet anyone like glen but you just do. 

      My saying "be happy" that makes time go by, before you know it your look back and feel like what was I thinking etc. 

      Have you got a job, college? 


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  • Posted

    Hey champ!

    Sorry to hear about your problem! But as easy as it is for me or anyone to say, forget this girl! No matter how much you still love her, it is just gonna go around in circles until you break free. Think of a smoker, Given up for 3 months, and they will just have ONE more cigarette, which leads on to 2 then 3 etc!

    Stop looking to replace this girl straight away. It has been 2 months! by the sounds of it you were really in love with her, so you are clearly still grieving! Deal with yourself first. It aint gonna be easy at all! Good luck buddy

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