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Someone please help explain what I should do

Posted , 6 users are following.

jessica1102
jessica1102

I have been seeing my new boyfriend for around six weeks and last week he had a coldsaw, although he didnt give me oral sex the night we realised he had one, he had done a few nights before. Hes just gone away for a week and Ive had the symptoms of genital herpes (i have never had a coldsaw before in my life), went to the doctors and i now have it. I am of course so embarassed, as well as in loads of pain and of course now need to tell him. My question mainly is though does he need to get tested? He obviously had the virus through the coldsaw but I could have given it back to him through sex, what should we do?

0 likes, 13 replies

13 Replies

  • princess52104
    princess52104 jessica1102

    Posted

    okay do you have herpes simplex 1 or 2?
    • jessica1102
      jessica1102 princess52104

      Posted

      At the moment I'm unsure as I've only been to the GP, he's prescribed me some tablets and I'm going to the STI clinic on Monday. I'm scared about telling my boyfriend in case he fears I'm going to give it to him down below
    • feelbroken
      feelbroken jessica1102

      Posted

      If he had a cold sore and they had oral sex, it will be hsv 1. Hsv 2 has only happened in very rare cases orally. Like immune compromised patients from AIDs. So I'm confident it is hsv 1
  • feelbroken
    feelbroken jessica1102

    Posted

    I'm honestly shocked and amazed at how many times I keep reading stories like this. Are you not locates in the US? I'm trying to understand how and why people are not getting educated on oral sex and herpes outside the US and it's a shame that they're not educating the youth about this.

    First off, I'm really sorry this has happened. I've seen several stories like this and the bfs always seem to be pretty supportive and stay. I mean, they arw the ones who gave it to you ladies to start and you guys got it due to their lack of caution.

    He can get tested, but I think it's at your guys discretion. If he hasn't had any symptoms, it may be a moot point to do so. I'm so sorry you're going through this. To help alleviate your pain and itching, do the following. 1. Take 3000mlgs of lysine during outbreaks (obs) 2. Eat pineapple daily 3. Take asany baths as possible when having an ob w Epsom salt. 4. Hydrocortisone cream to help w itching 5. Use ice or ice packs at night wrapped well w paper towels to help alleviate itching 6. Use Vaseline to coat sores when you have to be up and moving, it helps tonreduxe pain caused by friction.

    • jessica1102
      jessica1102 feelbroken

      Posted

      No I'm located in the UK! When we saw he had a coldsaw we did nothing but I'm guessing it was already in it's developing stages when I caught it and we just hadn't noticed it on his mouth. Thank you so much for your kind words, I do feel so upset so it's nice to have such lovely helpful comments!
    • feelbroken
      feelbroken jessica1102

      Posted

      I know it's hard sweetie,m and it feels like the pain will never ends, hut it will. Just be patient w yourself and remember that when you feel like this will never end, it will. You won't be able to start the next step in your grieving process till you get passed your first ob and then it will start on the way to healijg and coming to terms w it. When the symptoms subside you'll not feel as devastated and realize you can go on living a normal life.

      The UK needa to get their sex ed together. Seems to happen frequently in the UK by oral transmission and the youth has no clue well we're all here to support you, whenever you need us. Private msg me if you need to as well..

    • jessica1102
      jessica1102 feelbroken

      Posted

      Thank you so much!! I will definitely keep you updated. That's the sad thing I've always been sexually healthy, using protection and getting tested for stis before new partners I suppose sometimes it can just be bad luck sometimes!
    • feelbroken
      feelbroken jessica1102

      Posted

      Yes same here. My friends were shocked that me of all people got it, becauae of how I am and that was a fear of mine. I hadn't had sex in over two yrs when I was lied to and got it. He of course denied it and told me to never contact him again. You get to a point where you have no choice but to accept it and keep it moving.
  • JohnDoe2
    JohnDoe2 jessica1102

    Posted

    Hi Jessica,

    I feel your pain. I contracted it off my girlfriend, likely to be type 2 HSV as it was genital to genital.

    I'm in week 2 of my first outbreak. I've concluded pretty quickly that it is not that bad. Yes, it's uncomfortable and painful. No, I don't feel any different about myself or my relationship.

    Chin up, soldier on, it will clear. Then you can then get on with your life. If and when it comes back, you know what to expect... a week or so of discomfort, but that's it.

    Also, there are cures on the horizon, so maybe in a few years you can have a jab and it will all go away for good.

    Finally, seeing as he already has it in his mouth, he is unlikely to contract it in his genitals area as his body has already built up some immunity to it. You're most at risk spreading it from region to region when you first contract it (as it's new to your body), so, keep your hands clean and don't touch your face when pampering your genitals. Clean towels, and so on.

    • jessica1102
      jessica1102 JohnDoe2

      Posted

      okay thank you for that information, i was most worried about what i might then do to him. thank you so much for a lovely comment, i have only just discovered this website and its amazing how much help it has been! i wish you well 
    • feelbroken
      feelbroken JohnDoe2

      Posted

      That is not true John doe. You have a chance of some immunity, but not likely. People who have hsv 1 orally only, don't even come up positive on blood tests for it. I didn't and never have. I still don't, but my hsv 2 sure came up positive. It's like the antibody count isn't high enough w just oral heroes to show you tested positive. There is a certain number you have to reach, to be diagnosed genitally.
  • Lafai
    Lafai jessica1102

    Posted

    I live in Aus and we sure as hell lack the education about it aswell.

    I just recently got tested positive for hsv1 from oral sex transmission by coldsore aswell. Before i had even lost my virginity and thought about the possibilites of a life long disease.

    he probably should get tested if he has any symptoms.. im in the same position as you, 6 week relationship, awkward thing to deal with.

    just remember to use condoms and maybe look into the daily suppresion tablets as it slightly lowers the risk of transmission.

    • feelbroken
      feelbroken Lafai

      Posted

      If you refrain from a sex during symptoms, use condoms and daily medication, he has about a 2% transmission risk, 4% w meds and no condom and 6% w condoms and no meds
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